


Because I Love You

by Writerofshit (kay_samm)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: AHOT6 - Freeform, Drabbles, Fluff, Freewood - Freeform, M/M, Mavin, Myan - Freeform, R&R Connection - Freeform, Rachael - Freeform, happy shit, jackoff, r and r connection - Freeform, rayvin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-14 05:58:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 54
Words: 56,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1255450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_samm/pseuds/Writerofshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of fluffy drabbles I've been writing. All sorts of pairings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Falling in love is a weird thing]

Gavin fell for Ryan the first time they got in an argument. It consisted mostly of incoherent yelling about coins and probability and mathematical statistics no one else cared about. The exact words and phrases have been lost, years of bevs and overflowing gallons of time.

But he remembers the way Ryan moved, arms flailing about as he argued his point. The way his eyes lit up every time Gavin spoke a word he could counter. The way bright blue disappeared for white when he rolled his eyes. The way every time he did it he’d still have a smile on his face. The way he’d pull at his hair and bug out his eyes when Gavin said something he found particularly dumb.

He remembers how hours after the conversation had been firmly ended by Geoff (“You’re both idiots who need to shut the fuck up. Nobody cares about that shit.”) Ryan whispered in his ear that he was still right. (An action that received a flailing outburst from Gavin and a stern “I told you to shut the fuck up, Gavin.” from Geoff.)

They sent emails after that, arguing in long, thought out paragraphs only to be met with "fuck you, I’m right” followed by more long paragraphs. It went on for weeks until Gavin yelled at him in the kitchen.

"Why do you keep arguing this, Ryan? Why can’t we agree to disagree?"

"Because!" He put his hands on the British boy’s shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. "It’s important you see why you’re wrong!"

And that’s when Gavin kisses him because goddamn, how could you not love someone so passionate?

————

Ryan never really fell for Gavin. Or at least, there’s no defining moment that mad him realize he was never backing out.

Because there’s no way he could pinpoint a reason he loves Gavin.

He could say it’s the way he wakes up. How his immediate reaction to the a tiny bit of consciousness is to curl into a ball, bury his face in a [read: Ryan’s] pillow and try his damnedest to go back to sleep. How when he finally does wake up, he cracks open his left eye first, scrunches his nose, and then opens the right.

Or maybe it’s the way every morning he, still in his pajamas, finds Ryan in the kitchen fully dressed, presses his forehead against the older man’s arm and mumbles, “Morning, love. Coffee?” How he adds a little bit of a Starbucks Double Shot even though Ryan has told him a thousand times that the other half of the can is already in the cup.

It could be that he has permanent bruises on his back from being hit by the door so many times because he’s almost always perched an the arm of Ryan’s couch.

Or the goofy smile he gets when he glances back from his own desk and finds Ryan’s eyes on him, a grin on his own face. The way he always half giggles “What?” and blushes when Ryan winks.

The way ‘I love you’ is the only phrase they never joke about. The way Gavin always says it fast, as if he’s running out of time and they’re the last words he gets to say.

Or maybe it’s all of it.

Maybe Ryan never fell for Gavin. Maybe he falls everyday.


	2. Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Myan  
> 508  
> I can’t stop writing plus I love the idea of Ryan irritating Michael on purpose because he’s hot when he’s angry. So here have a thing.

Ryan knows exactly how to push his buttons.

He knows just how to phrase things to make Michael do a double take. He knows how to add just enough cadence to his voice to make him scream.

His goal in any given lets play is to make Michael pause, then follow it with a half shocked “Jesus Christ.” (He also tries to get Geoff to say “Ryan has lost his Goddamn mind.” The two usually go hand in hand.)

Ok so maybe in a way he’s trying trying to piss everybody off, but he’s funny so it works out. He never intentionally tortures Gavin, the brit just happens to be an easy target. Plus, you know, its easiest to irritate Michael through Gavin. He twists the younger man’s words until Gavin doesn’t know what point he was trying to make in the first place. It’s pretty fucking funny.

The word twisting is what pisses Michael off the most. Gavin always gets so indignant and starts hollering and just gets so goddamn annoying. So Michael pulls on the familiar hat of Rage Quit king and screams at Gavin while Ryan just laughs like an evil genius.

Once, when they’re making breakfast, Michael brings it up.

"I know what you’ve been doing, Ryan." His voice is calm, steady, but the extra hard scrambling of eggs gives away his anger.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about." He fakes innocence but makes no attempt to hide it. There’s not really a point.

"You’re trying to piss me off!" The eggs hit the pan with a sizzle and Ryan almost laughs because the timing is perfect.

"Now Michael," he begins, because he knows the brunette hates it and he likes him best when he’s angry.

"No!" He turns around, eggs forgotten. "Don’t start that ‘now Michael’ bullshit. You know I can’t stand it."

This is what he loves, neck burning red and arms crossed.

"Really?" He steps over slowly, deliberately, a smile on his face. He wraps his arms around the younger man’s waist, hooking his thumbs in back belt loops. "I guess I’ve forgotten." He dips his head down, brushing his lips along a tense jaw and down his neck. "Remind me again how… agitated you get?"

"Goddamnit, Ryan." But his voice is breaking with a smile because Ryan is gently sucking tiny marks on his neck and how the hell can you be mad at someone doing that?

"Hmm?" The noise vibrates against him and fuck if he doesn’t love it.

"I fucking hate you." But he’s opening his arms and pulling Ryan closer. His fingers tangle in blonde hair as its owner laughs.

"I love you too, Michael."

And now the eggs are burning and so is the toast but who gives a shit? Ryan’s lips are pressed hard against his own and damn it to hell if they won’t go into work with everyone knowing exactly how they spent their morning.

Ryan knows exactly how to push his buttons. But good god does Michael love being pushed.


	3. Peace. Kind of.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Jackoff- Jack/geoff]
> 
> [After the Garden Warfare thing, when Jack followed Geoff around healing him, all I could think about was holding hands. So I wrote this, also based on someoneudontknow5 ‘s baby AU.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-o! In case you're interested, or confused, my tumblr is gravity-driven-meatsack. I post almost exclusively AH and RT.

Geoff would never admit to missing Jack. It pained him to sometimes admit he liked him.

  
Sure, they’d been together upwards of ten years. (Precise numbers were fuzzy; who knew when exactly friendship turned into drunk fooling around turned into an actual relationship? Definitely neither of them.) And yeah, they’d adopted four boys who drove them crazy (and sometimes they had the little girl from down the road for days on end.) And maybe he often thought about the fact that if it weren’t for Jack, he wouldn’t be alive. (Booze and pills and an unhealthy dose of self hatred made for a bad combination. The idea of offing himself may have crossed his mind once or twice or everyday for sixth months straight.)

  
But still. None of that meant he had to admit to liking the man.

  
Except when Burnie offers to babysit for an afternoon, give them a chance to do something other than corral three toddlers and a ten year old, Geoff jumps at it. (Ok maybe he does kinda like Jack.)

  
He definitely loves those boys more than anything in the world. Never in a million years does he regret taking them in. He would trade them for anything.

  
But damn do they get tiring.

  
They sit at home for an hour before before Geoff starts to lose his mind. It’s just too damn quiet.

  
"Let’s go somewhere. Do something." He’s pacing the house, searching for something to fix or clean or keep his mind busy.

  
"Alright." Jack looks up from his place on the couch. He’s reading, a luxury he hasn’t really had for three years, since the lads came along. "What do you wanna do?"

  
"I don’t know. Anything." Geoff is pulling on a coat, eager escape the quiet house.

  
"Well, Costco’s got a sale on, like, pretty much everything." Jack stands, marking his page with a dog-ear.

  
"We finally get an afternoon to go anywhere in peace, and you wanna go to fucking Costco?"

  
"Geoff." Jack says his name sternly. They try not to swear too terribly in front of the lads. (Ryan goes to public school, they can’t really shock him.)

  
"The lads aren’t fucking here, Jack. I can say whatever the fuck I want." It feels good.

  
Jack rolls his eyes, but Geoff has a point.  
"C’mon." He starts to smile as Jack pulls his coat on. "Say it."

  
Jack rolls his eyes again, but half smiles. “Fuck.” He says, voice teeming with ‘are you happy now?’

  
"C’mon, you can do better than that. Say it, Jack. You know you want to." He pokes him in the chest, a grin on his face. "Say. It." Each word is punctuated with a poke.  
The bearded man shakes his head and brushes past him. Just as his his hand makes contact with the doorknob, Geoff begins to whine.

  
"Jaaaaack, come ooooooon. Just-"

  
In one quick movement, Jack wrenches the door open with one hand, turns and grabs Geoff by the collar with the other. Before Geoff can react, their lips meet and he can’t even begin to care about his collar being stretched out because goddamn he’s missed this.

  
It’s over much too soon, and Jack is walking out the door, only one thing to say.  
"Surprise, motherfucker."  
—-  
Sometimes Jack forgets why he fell in love so many years ago. He knows that he did, and of course he still loves Geoff, but the what it was about him that made Jack know way back when that he never wanted anyone else? Sometimes he forgets.

  
They’ve been in the store for forty-five minutes. They have a cart half full of stuff, cereal and paper towels and a lot of other shit Geoff hadn’t realized they were out of. And yeah, he was all for getting the majority of things they may need in the coming weeks. It made sense to do it without the kids running around.

  
But Jack had been debating which detergent would be better for ten fucking minutes and he just didn’t care anymore.

  
"…has something in it that’s supposed to be better for your skin, so I just don’t know. Geoff, what do you think?" When he’s met with silence, he looks up only to find that his asshole of a husband has disappeared. Awesome.

  
He sets the detergent from his right hand in the cart, and goes off in search.

  
He finds Geoff down the liquor aisle, and he sighs. They’d given a lot of things up because of the lads, alcohol included. It had been Jack’s idea, since they were getting three babies and they really needed to be able to focus on them.

  
"No." He says, pulling up next to Geoff. "We swore off alcohol until they start school."

  
"Don’t you think Burnie’s teaching them something? Isn’t that kinda like school?" He looks up hopefully, only to be met with disappointment.

  
"Geoff, no. You promised."

  
"Who died and made you king?" He crosses his arms with a huff. "Im not a child, Jack. You can’t tell me what to do."

  
"You’re certainly acting like a child who’s not getting his way."

  
"Fuck you."

  
"Alright, you wanna act like Michael when we give Gavin his toys back? Fine, I’ll treat you the same." He reaches toward and pulls one of Geoff’s hands loose, lacing their fingers together. "C’mon."

  
He half drags him away, despite Geoff’s loud, curse filled protests. He manages to continue to keep the cart moving straight, even with Geoff tugging at his arm.  
After a few moments in which it becomes clear that Jack is not going to give in, Geoff does. He stops resisting, opting instead to walk peacefully beside his husband, their hands still linked together.

  
Jack is half struggling with the cart, but he doesn’t care. This is nice.

  
They’re walking toward the register, finally ready to go, when Geoff stops. “No way.”

  
"What?" Jack looks back at the other man, before he gets tugged away from the cart. They’re going three aisles back, and yet Jack isn’t upset. It’s worth it to see the look of astonishment on Geoff’s face.

  
"They have apple pie flavored coffee! Apple fucking pie! Coffee!" He picks up a bag, grinning broadly. "Add whiskey and you’ve got the best goddamn drink ever." He looks up. "We have to get this."

  
"Sure, fine by me." And now he’s being dragged back to the cart and toward the front of the store and that’s when he remembers.

  
He loves Geoff because how can you not love someone who gets that excited over coffee? Especially considering it doesn’t stop with coffee. Geoff doesn’t go crazy over big things. He’s pretty chill about the majority of stuff (they got married in the courthouse on a random Tuesday.) It’s little things. New flavors of coffee, the way Michael mimics him, refrigerator magnets, winning at video games.

  
Geoff falls in love with the little things, and Jack falls in love with him.


	4. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Basically sleeping headcanons in the form of a drabble]

When they first start sleeping together, it’s weird.

Not the sex. No, the sex is the absolute best part of sharing a bed. (A fact Gavin chalked up to simply being about Ryan’s comfort level. He relaxed more, explored more. They were times when he simply clung to Gavin, holding him tight as if he might run away. He never did that when they had sex on the couch. (Or kitchen table, but Gavin couldn’t blame him for that one.) Bottom line, Ryan Haywood may have been weird, some might even say mad, but when it came to sex he was surprisingly bedroom oriented.)

The problem is actually sleeping.

Ryan finds out quick that if you give Gavin any amount of room, he will take up every inch and then some. He sleeps like a large dog in its back, limbs sprawled everywhere.

Gavin discovers that Ryan never actually moves. He always lies angled, half on his back, half on his right side. But his head is turned toward the left, facing away from his boyfriend.

Ryan realizes Gavin always moves. It’s like trying to sleep next to a horizontal tornado. Plus he often thrashed his legs, almost as if hew trying to kick anyone in his immediate vicinity. A horizontal tornado hurling debris, then.

Ryan always has his hands resting on his stomach, and keeps the covers at his feet, the very top reaching only just below his knees. He sleeps in a t-shirt and boxers, even in the winter. (Gavin swears the man is a walking heater. Ryan laughs and promises to keep him warm.)

Gavin tries to bundle up, always bringing extra blankets. (Which stay on for about five minutes before he kicks them off.) He sleeps in, as he says, proper pajamas, pants and a t-shirt.

When they first start sleeping together, it’s exactly how they remain. Two people who happen to share the same bed, but it’s not really their’s.

But months wear on and at some point things change. Gavin stops moving; rather, he stays still, curled up in the arms of his boyfriend. Somewhere along the line Ryan’s hands go from resting on his own stomach, to Gavin’s, holding him close. They learn to compromise on temperature, feet tucked under a folded comforter but a top sheet pulled to their shoulders.

Ryan still doesn’t move, but why would he want to?


	5. Irony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin]  
> [757]  
> [In which there is no smut, but they’re post-sex naked.]  
> [I had to write Ray. It was making me sad not to, and what better way to start than with him losing his virginity?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just have this headcanon that Ray would be really shy and hesitant, especially considering it being Gavin.

[Rayvin]  
[757]  
[In which there is no smut, but they’re post-sex naked.]  
[I had to write Ray. It was making me sad not to, and what better way to start than with him losing his virginity?]

They lie in silence, no longer touching. Ray‘s breaths are shallow, his heart is beating fast. He does his best to make no noise. He concentrates on the rate of his breathing, on the rise and fall of his stomach under his hand.

It’s easier than thinking about the boy beside him. (  _Man._  Ray thinks. Gavin is definitely a  _man._ ) He wonders if it’s ironic to be anti-alcohol and still lose his virginity to a guy who’s drunk off his ass. (He was never good in English.)

He refuses to look anywhere but the ceiling. He will not see if Gavin is freaking out, he will not ask questions. He will stare up in silence until they both starve. He will not be the first to bring it up. (Except it’s been up since Gavin kissed him, plus they’re still naked and in bed together. Doesn’t get much more ‘up’ than that.)

But it doesn’t matter because Gavin speaks.

"Hey, Ray?"

His eyes close lightly, lids just touching, and he swallows. “Huh?” He prepares himself for excuses, for ‘let’s pretend this never happened.’ That’s what must be coming.

But it’s not.

"I guess the joke’s over then?" Ray hears the sound of Gavin’s skin brushing against the sheets, feels him moving closer.

He shuts his eyes tighter, turns his head toward Gavin. “The… joke?” Is that what this is?

"About you being a virgin." He reaches out and trails a finger along rays forearm. "Can’t say that anymore, huh?"

Finally he looks. Gavin is on his side, the top sheet just barely covering his most vital area. (Although, Ray considers, it probably doesn’t matter much now.) His head is propped up on his hand and there’s a wide, open mouthed grin on his face.

"I guess not." The words rush out in nervous laughter.

"What?" Gavin hasn’t stopped touching him.

"Nothing, I just…" He shakes his head. "Nothing."

"Fuckin…" the word comes out more as an exhale. "Come on, Ray." He rolls onto his back, laughing. Now it’s his other hand. "Half an hour ago you had your dick in my ass, and now suddenly you’re shy?"

Ray can’t help the nervous giggle that escape his lungs in a huff. “Yeah, I know. I guess I’m just…  _new_ … at-” he pauses, searching for a way to describe the situation. Finding none, he keeps it simple, “this.” He makes a vague hand gesture that he hopes encompasses his point.

"Well you did just lose your virginity. I guess that is a new thing." He rolls toward Ray, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips. "I also guess we’re gonna have to give you more practice."

And then Gavin is kissing him again and he doesn’t care about figuring out what this is, or what it might become. He only cares about warmth under his fingertips and the feel of Gavin’s chest pressed against his own.

——

Weeks later they’re in bed again. (or maybe it’s still. 23 days have passed in a blurry mess of heat and skin and kisses in dark corners. It sort of all melts together.) Ray still hasn’t asked the question of what they are; Gavin still hasn’t given him an answer.

"Hey, Gavin?"

He’s half asleep. He’d told Ray to come over, only to then mention he just wanted to pass out. “Hmm?”

"What are we doing?" 

He looks up. “Going to sleep. I’m tired as knobs.” He rolls over, buries his face in the pillow. “Did Michael tell you about Immersion today?” He turns his head to keep from muffling his voice. “They made us-“

"Gavin." He just wants to know. "What are we doing?"

He pulls himself up, looking Ray straight in the eye. “Does it matter?”

Ray swallows. Maybe he hasn’t dated a lot, and he’s certainly never been in this position, but he knows what it means. “No, I guess not.”

"Ok. Goodnight?" He’s waiting for a green light to stop the discussion.

"Night."

——

Three months later it still doesn’t matter. Gavin kisses him while drunk at an office party. Half the company owes the other half money on when they’d finally come out.

Everybody calls it dating so they go with that.

Burnie finds them making out in the AH office. While he bitches about not wanting to see that shit, Gavin wraps an arm around Ray’s waist and tells him to “piss off and get used to it.”

Ray realizes he misunderstood. It doesn’t matter what they call it, just as long as it’s them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news, I love everybody so much. These have been around on the site for like four days, and I've gotten such a great response. It's amazing to be part of a community that's so supportive and loving. Thank you all so much.


	6. Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raychael (Ray/Michael)  
> Remember when they used to be better friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is there a better name for the Ray/Michael ship? Because I'm not a huge fan of 'Raychael' I don't know why. It just throws me off.

"Remember when we used to be better friends?"

The running joke stopped being funny long ago. 

"Because we totally hate each other now." Michael's voice is full of annoyance. Sure, he teases the audience about it almost non-stop, but whenever someone thinks it's serious it pisses him off.

"Well yeah. I fucking hate you." Ray laughs at the absurdity of the statement, given the fact he's perched in Michael's lap.

"You're full of shit. Last time I checked, you fucking love me, and you love fucking me." he ticks each off on his fingers.

"Yeah, well." He smiles. "You're not wrong on either of those."

"If only the audience could see us now." More gentle than anyone would give him credit for, Michael strokes the Puerto Rican's back. "You think they'd believe we're not close?"

"I think Id get shot by mavin fangirls."

"Shot? They'd probably just take you down by hand."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Michael's hand slips beneath his shirt, and he fights back a shiver.

"Just that in a fight between you and a bunch of girls, they'd win."

"Fuck you."

"Ok." He grins and tries to pull Ray down a bit, but Ray rolls his eyes.

"Seriously, it's not like you could do any better."

Michael leans back to look up and get a better look at his boyfriend. Yeah, he's serious. "Please."

"What? You think you'd be better off?"

"Between me and you? I  _would_ be better off." He doesn't even care about this. He just wants to make out.

"Prove it."

"How the fuck am I supposed to prove it?" Ray stands, and Michael protests. "Don't get up, nothing good happens when you get off me."

"Fight me." He smooths out his shirt, waiting for his boyfriend.

"Im not gonna fight you." 

"Come on." He bounces back and forth from foot to foot. "Prove you'd be better off."

"Ray, I'm not gonna-"

"Come  _on."_

Fine, he asked for it. "Fuckin'... Fine!" He gets up, running a hand through his hair. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Ray nods, although he doesn't believe the warning.

"You ready?"

Ray nods again, starts to swing. It happens so fast he can't process it, but one second he's about to punch Michael in the jaw and the next he's face down on the carpet, his swinging arm pinned behind him. Michael is straddling his back, holding him down easily.

"What the fuck."

"I told you so." The words are low in his ear, followed by lips on his neck and Ray wonders briefly if this wasn't such a terrible idea.

\---

When he's in the shower later and the hot water stings the rug burns on his knees, he thinks fighting Michael was a fucking _great_ idea.

 


	7. Paradox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin]  
> [Its a Gavin thing, Ray thinks]

He never expects Gavin to fall so in love with a flea market. It's mostly a bunch of crap and there's a ton of people and its hot and come  _on,_ it's a a fucking flea market. 

Ray likes to go because he's developed a talent for finding good deals. He's probably saved at least a grand in the last year.

They haven't bought anything. They're just walking around, sweating and dodging people. Gavin keeps stopping to look at random booths, which is fine, but he never says anything. So Ray spends two minutes back tracking and searching for him, only to find him turning something ceramic over in his hands.

"Gavin, for the last time,  _tell me when you're gonna stop."_

He glances over his shoulder. "Oh, sorry. Isn't this neat?" He holds out what appears to be a tiny ceramic Tower of Pimps.

"Shit, that is kinda cool." It is. Fans send them stuff all the time, and it never gets old. It amazes him that there are people he's never even met that spend their free time working on gifts for them. And they just do it because they want to. 

Occasionally he'll stumble upon tributes to them in the real world, and it always takes his breath away. It's a big part of why he loves what he does.

"You think she'd freak out if I went up and bought it?"

Ray laughs. "Yeah, probably."

Gavin smiles and puts it back on the shelf. Maybe another day.

They keep walking until Ray starts to say something and finds Gavin missing.  _Again._

This time he's been distracted by t-shirts with dumb sayings on them. As if it's a new thing, despite the fact he's wearing one made by the fucking company he works for.

"Christ, Gavin. I give up." He links his fingers through the Brit's and wonders why he didn't think of it a hour ago.

Gavin laughs. "It's like I'm your kid or something." He squeezes his hand to indicate why.

"Yeah, well... I mean, if you're my kid then what we did in the shower earlier was super illegal. And weird."

This time Gavin's loud giggle earns them a dirty look from an old woman who looks even angrier when she spots their hands.

They move on, stopping occasionally. It isn't until they spot the food court does Gavin's face really light up.

"Ray!" He tugs on his hand, pulling him toward the booth that has him so excited. "Funnel cake!"

"Yeah, because you seem like you need powdered sugar."

" _Raaaay._ "

They split one because it's seven fucking dollars and he's not a big fan of funnel cake. As he watches Gavin savor every bite of the greasy dough, Ray wonders how someone can be unbelievably cute  _and_ hot at the same time. He can't recall ever meeting someone who evokes the same paradox in him, smiling because he's adorable but also wanting to jump him right then and there. (Judgemental granny be damned.)

It's a Gavin thing, Ray thinks. 


	8. Movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [AHOT6]  
> [Movies are fun]  
> [First time doing AHOT6- Be kind]  
> [Also shoutout positivelyweird14 on tumblr. She suggested AHOT6 and she’s pretty awesome so how could I say no?]

 

Netflix is a godsend, Geoff thinks.

Everytime the six of them go to the movies, it always has to be a big production. Getting them to all agree to a movie that they want to spend money on is the first step. They’re never on the same page. If Michael wants action, Ray wants dumb comedy. If Ryan wants horror, Gavin will complain about it making him nauseous. It’s an hour long debate, and meanwhile lines are getting longer and movies are selling out.

If by some miracle they get their shit together enough to pick a movie, they then have to figure out snacks. Which wouldn’t be a big deal if they each just bought what they wanted. But no. Michael wants to know that if he gets gummy worms, everybody will have some. Gavin doesn’t want to be the only one getting a slushie. Jack tries to go halvsies on whatever deal they’ve currently got, except Ray wants a size smaller than what’s in the offer and Ryan just wants a drink. So does Geoff, really, but he means more the flask in his jacket than a Mr. Pibb.

If they get that settled (which is usually ten minutes into whatever they finally deciding on seeing) then comes seating. Michael won’t sit next to Gavin because he just paid almost 15 fucking dollars to get in and all Gavin will want to do is make out. Ryan  _does_ want to sit with a Gavin for the exact same reason. Ray will end up in Jack’s lap in about five minutes and then they’ll get bitched at by the guy with the flashlight. Geoff will whisper-yell at them to _shut the fuck up you’re gonna get us kicked out_ and wonder why he brought up going in the first place. Then the other five will play musical chairs until somehow Gavin will end up next to him and they really do get kicked out because _apparently_ giving your older boyfriend a handjob while simultaneously being on a date with your other four boyfriends is not ‘appropriate theater behavior.’

When they get home Michael will scream at Gavin for fucking the night up. Ray will joke that it’s not all Gavin’s fault, Geoff’s dick was there too. They’ll laugh and Michael will roll his eyes. Jack always suggests Netflix at that point, and they figure they were planning on a movie anyway, why not?

Except now Michael doesn’t mind sitting with Gavin because he can watch whatever’s on the screen anytime, and why would he turn down making out with Gavin for some shitty B-comedy he can watch later? Ray ends up in Ryan’s lap this time, and neither pair notices when four becomes six. Geoff pulls Jack away so he can finish what Gavin started, maybe even return the favor.

At some point they all end up half laying on each other on the couch, watching another shitty movie except it’s better than the first. They order pizza from a 24 hour chain and throw microwave popcorn at the tv. Gavin swears he’ll clean it up (he started it) but he never does. Somewhere around two a.m. they all start to nod off right there on the couch. Geoff’s the last one awake so he shuts off the tv, grabs blankets and covers them all up. He settles back in his spot between Jack and Ray, thinking about how the night started. The stress and aggravation of going out, then the ease and comfort of home. He’d so much rather be exactly where he is than at some freezing theater.

Netflix is a godsend.


	9. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Mavin]  
> [Movie night is once a week]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how this escaped my notice when I first moved my fics from tumblr to here.  
> But this is actually the first fluff I wrote for AH.

Movie night is usually once a week.

Either they go out and see a new one, or they stay at Michael’s apartment and watch Netflix from the comfort of the bed. (Or let’s face it, it’s their bed, their apartment because ninety percent of Gavin’s shit is strewn around the place and he hasn’t even slept at the Ramsey’s in over a month.)

They call it movie night because there’s always popcorn and there’s always somebody famous working to fuck up the life of another famous person on a big screen in one form or another. But truth be told, they never really watch.

Movie night starts the same way every time: an hour of debating whether they should go out or stay in. What’s good in the theater? What’s good on Netflix? When they get sick of arguing over the correct spelling of ‘theater’ they say ‘fuck it’ and flip a coin. (They never even start debating probability because Goddamnit, Gavin, you are not going to bring that shit up again.)

Movie night ends the same way every time, too: hard kisses and wandering hands and never seeing the second half but seeing so much more of each other.

(One time Michael enlists Ryan’s help to figure out how much money he’s wasted on movies they left early and uneaten popcorn. When he gives Gavin the total, the Brit laughs and promises to pay back every cent. Michael kisses him because he’s too damn cute when he laughs. He wants to be mad.)

Gavin never pays him back even when the next movie ends after a half hour and they find themselves in the backseat of the car sitting in a parking lot. (When Michael brings it up, Gavin only laughs and kisses him again.)

They call it even.


	10. Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Gavin makes up a lot of words. Ryan has decided to find it endearing]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea if that could be a real GTA glitch. I don't play. But it works.

"Ryan! What the bloody hell are you doing?"

  
"I don't fuckin know! I can't control this thing!"

  
"Well you're sliding all over the gaff and they're gonna get ahead!"

  
It's a Lets Play, GTA V Rallies Part 2. To the complete and utter shock of everyone, the game is still glitched. Ray and Michael are off playing Legos again, giggling to each other. Geoff and Jack are still in, but not doing much better.

  
For whatever reason, handling of the vehicles has all but disappeared. The slightest turn of the vehicle sends it into a tailspin. But they keep playing anyway, because it'll be entertaining.

  
"Go left go left go left!"

  
"There is no left!"

" _RY-AN!"_

He's driving straight into a wall, the back weaving like crazy, but the front still firmly stuck.

"I can't fuckin move, what do you want me to do?"

In a second it doesn't matter, because Geoff blows past them with a loud "Suck a dick, bitches!"

"Goddamnit Ryan!" The end screen pops up, and Gavin bangs his controller. 

"The game is fucked up, Gavin! What was I supposed to do?"

They're ignoring the cheers of the other guys, and Michael and Ray's giggling as they get back in the game.

"You could have started by not muffin' around with the wall for ten bloody minutes!" He turns to look at Ryan, angling so he can speak to him properly while making sure the microphone can still pick him up.

"I- _muffing around?_ Is that what I was doing?"

"Yeah!"

"So do you think at any point in time you'll learn to speak actual English?" He raises any eyebrow, a smile on his face.

"What the hell are you talking about? I speak English!"

"No, you speak Gavinglish."

"I don't-"

It's at that point Michael joins the conversation. "That's exactly what it is, dude. You've got mostly normal words and then you just slip in this weird shit that you made up!"

"It's not made up!"

The other guys start too, laughing and bringing up years' worth of random Gavin. As they go on and on, ("Geoff, what did he call you that one time? A gebby little geck, or some shit?") Gavin gets progressively more irritated, mouth closed in a firm line.

Ryan stops participating in the teasing when he sees Gavin's face. They're still sitting on the start screen, too wrapped up in the conversation to give directions.

"Hey, Gavin." He leans forward, far enough that the Mic won't pick him up. Gavin leans.away from his Mic, toward Ryan.

"What?"

"Sorry. Didn't mean to start...all that." He gestures vaguely to the other guys, still oblivious in their teasing.

"Yeah. You're not wrong. I say dumb shit." He starts to move back, but leans closer.

"Nah. It's not...well it can be dumb, yeah. But it's also creative." He smiles, an attempt to be comforting. "It's endearing."

Gavin grins and they go back.

Later they're having dinner, and Gavin is lost in thought.

"What?" Ryan asks, although he's positive he knows.

"You really think I'm creative?"

Ryan laughs. "That's not even a question." He slides his hand over, covers Gavin's with his own. "Of course you are. It's one of the many reasons I love you."

Gavin rolls his eyes for being cheesy, and that's when Ryan knows he's forgive.

 

 


	11. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [AHOT6]  
> [Nobody ships it harder than Lindsay]  
> [In which the group only does cute shit because Lindsay's a great planner]

"Fuck this."

"Yeah, Lindsay. What the hell?"

"You want me to go outside? No."

"It's nice... but not us."

"We appreciate it, it's just..imagine Michael out there. He'll ruin the serenity."

"Fuck you, Ryan."

They're talking over each other, the words getting jumbled in her ears. She understands their aversion. She didn't think a picnic would be their initial cup of tea. But she also didn't think they'd completely reject it. Five of them argue back and forth about being polite, Michael mostly yelling at Ryan. She waits for them to calm themselves long enough for her to speak. After a moment, she thinks she has it, but Gavin goes first.

"I don't know, guys. It could be fun." 

" _What the fuck, Gavin!"_  Michael's voice rings out over everyone else. "It's a goddamn picnic, how would that possibly be fun?"

" _Hey!"_ She's finally had enough. "Im just trying to do a nice thing for you guys. It's not like im trying to make you frolic in a meadow."

"It's still a  _picnic,_ and we're  _guys."_

"Guys in a gay, polyamorous relationship."

"Shut up."

"Just  _try_ it." She insists. She put quite a bit of effort into this.  "If you get there and it sucks, you don't have to stay. You can all go home and bang or whatever."

"We can do that anyway. We don't have to go to your shitty picnic at all."

"It's not shitty!" She throws up her hands in exasperation. She had hoped it would go over better. When she looks at the gents, she can see them sharing looks. Lindsay just hopes it means what she thinks it does.

Finally, Geoff speaks. "Michael," he begins, voice disturbingly father-like, "Let's try it. Clearly she put a lot of time into this. It's only fair we give it a shot."

The rest of the guys nod along, albeit reluctantly.

Outnumbered, Michael crosses him arms. "I fuckin hate all of you."

\-----

"Ok, maybe this isn't so bad." Michael admits.

They're on a blanket beneath a large tree in a nearby park. Michael and Ryan are leaning against the trunk, Gavin and Ray reclined between their legs, respectively. Jack is laying on his back, Geoff tucked up to his side.

"I told you!" Lindsay calls from her place under the pavilion " Its romantic, isn't it?

"Yeah, real romantic with you chaperoning over there!"

"You guys can't get kicked out again."

They don't respond because yeah, it'd probably happen.

But they don't care about that. They've got good food and beer and each other. That's all they need.


	12. Retaliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Raychael]
> 
> [Turns out Michael has pretty shitty vision. But only if some asshole steals his glasses]
> 
> [Apparently I have a thing for Michael being stronger than/sitting on Ray. I make no apologies]

 

”Ray, you fucking fuck. What did you do with them?”

He laughs. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is there a problem?” He hits pause on the game because he can hear Michael stumbling toward him. There’s a crash, and a shout.

"Fuck!"

"Michael, what happened?"

"I’m gonna kill you. I’m just gonna fucking slit your throat." He looks up as Michael appears from around the corner, gripping the door frame tightly. He’s squinting, trying desperately to get the world to register clearly.

"Like you could find my throat. I’m just a ball of blur."

“ _Ray.”_

To be fair, Ray had not been the only one to move the furniture around. Gavin and Ryan had been happy to help with that. Although he _was_  the one who had stolen Michael’s glasses.

It was retaliation to the whole ‘it was funny to get the guy from Taco Bell to refuse to serve Ray’ thing.

"When I get my glasses back, you’re gonna wake up dead."

Ray shrugs. “Did you lose them or something?”

"Where are they?"

"So do you like what I did with the living room? Don’t you think this layout looks a lot better?" He pauses, meets Michael’s eyes, for what it’s worth. "Oh wait. You can’t see it, can you?"

(“ _So Ray, how’s that spicy burrito working for you? Don’t you think its a lot better than the regular?” He grinned. “Oh wait. You couldn’t get one, could you?”)_

Understanding registers on his face. “That’s what this is about? You’re all pissy because you had to wait five minutes for me to buy you a fucking burrito? It was a  _joke.”_

"So is this."

"I can’t fucking see!"

"And I was hungry. Now we’re even." He turns his attention back to the screen. This is actually pretty funny.

"The hell we are!" Footsteps, a jolt to the couch, and the he’s swearing again. "Motherfucking goddamnit!" He’s bent over the arm, scrambling toward his boyfriend. Apparently his depth perception is absolute shit without his glasses.

"Hey now, don’t do anything-" he’s cut off by Michael shoving him down and ripping his own glasses away, tossing them onto the table. For a split second he thinks  _I hope they don’t break_ but he’s immediately distracted by the fact that Michael is straddling him, hands still very close to his face. “Well hi. What can I do for you?” He brings his hands to Michael’s hips, slipping his middle fingers through belt loops.

"Dont you even fucking try." He pushes against Ray’s shoulders, but not hard enough to be serious.

"You’re the one on top of me."

"Shut up."

Ray grins. “Make me.”

So he does.


	13. Scarred For Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood, technically]  
> [Ft. Scarred Geoff]  
> [Geoff finds a private note from Ryan to Gavin and it fucks him up in a fairly funny way]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I didn't post this sooner. It's been on tumblr for like a week.

Ryan often leaves sticky notes for Gavin. Normally, it’s just stuff like “I love you” or “Gavin, I hope you know you’re a huge distraction.” Sometimes dinner or movie times. The occasional dumb joke, “Did I ever tell you about that zoo I went to with only one kind of dog? Yeah, it was a pretty Shih-Tzu.”

Usually he saves anything dirty for home. Sure, everybody knows they’re dating; that didn’t mean they had to be gross about it. Nobody particularly wanted to hear about their exploits. Nothing about them being gay; nobody wanted to hear Michael and Lindsay’s tales either.

So they kept their relationship at the office pretty PG.

Except…

Ryan blames Gavin for being hot. And for spilling his soda, which resulted in the removal of his shirt. And also since when did Gavin ever put games back on the shelf? They were supposed to go home with him, like always. If he hadn’t decided to clean, Geoff would never have found the notes.

Ah, Geoff. Poor, innocent, scarred Geoff. All he wanted to do was play a little GTA V. That’s it. (Well, all he wanted when life was simple. Now all he wants is a fucking time machine.)

He didn’t know where his copy of GTA V was. It should have been on his desk, but it wasn’t. Whatever. He’d borrow one off the shelf. He pulled the game off, the cracked case indicating it was Gavin’s. Good. Prick never actually played it anyway, except for let’s plays.  
He popped open the case and was immediately disappointed. No disc. Fucker never put anything where it was supposed to go.  
There were however several sticky notes, and he immediately recognized Ryan’s handwriting.

'You're too hot for your own good. Or mine.'

Lovely. That’s what he needed, love letters between dumb and dumber.

'You're putting ideas in my head.'

Oh Christ, please tell me they didn’t fuck at work. He absolutely did not need to walk into the bathroom and find that.

'I can see it now. Your ankles up and my…'

Oh no. Oh fuck no. No no no no. What the fuck. This was not okay. Why the fuck was this shit in the GTA case?? Ryan explaining in detail what he wanted to do to Gavin was not a game disc!

His eyes hit the bottom of the case, where he found the worst part of it all. The drawing.

He didn’t know Ryan could draw that well. That detailed. And how the fuck did anybody bend like that? Had Ryan and Gavin actually…?

And then it dawned on him that they were dating, and of course they had done exactly what was in the case and oh god he was gonna throw up. He snapped the case closed and chucked it against the wall. If only he could stop picturing it. Picturing Gavin on a bed and Ryan above him and Jesus fucking Christ he needed bleach for his brain.

Just as the door opened, he collapsed in his chair. Michael walked in and raised and eyebrow. “You ok there, Geoff?”

He shook his head. He couldn’t speak.

"Is that Gavin’s copy of GTA on the floor? He never puts anything away." He bent down and picked it up "is the disc at least in here? Because last time-"

"Don’t open it, Michael!" He looked up, face pained. "Whatever you do, don’t open it."

"What the fuck, Geoff? What’s the matter with you?"

"I have seen terrible things. Terrible, scarring things." He eyed the case in Michael’s hands. "Just put it on his desk. Don’t open it."

Michael shook his head in confusion, but did as instructed. “Are you gonna be ok over there, Geoff?”

"I don’t know, Michael. I don’t know."  
—-  
Later Gavin tries to put it back on the shelf again, but this time Ryan stops him, asking if hes looked inside recently. Geoff flees the room, and refuses to make eye contact with anybody.


	14. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Established Freewood]  
> [Ft. Scarred Geoff]  
> [Its been two weeks, and he still can't look Gavin or Ryan in the eye]  
> [Hilariously traumatized Geoff is good for the soul]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Isaac_Kran for the idea of doing a follow up to 'I'm Scarred for Life'  
> I hope this is satisfactory!

In the weeks after what Geoff refers to as 'The Incident' (AKA The Day He Found Out What Ryan And Gavin Do Behind Closed Doors) he tries not to think about it. Or them. Or sex. Or clouds. (Because everytime he looks up at the sky that cumulonimbus bullshit shapes itself into a figure of them fucking. Every. Damn. Time.)

He also can't look either one of them in the eye. If he makes eye contact, he thinks about  _them_ making eye contact, which leads to  _other_ kinds of contact, and then the image is in his mind again. Actually, he tries not to look at them at all. Because seeing Gavin's hands leads to thinking about Ryan's, leads to wondering where their hands have been, which leads to hands on  _each other,_ and oh, there they are fucking.  _Again._

The worst part might be that his mind is making it all up. He never  _actually_ saw them doing it. He only saw the very detailed picture Ryan drew, and read part of the graphic notes he left. So all the skin and  _parts_ and all the places those parts go are his mind's creation. This is why he needs alcohol back in his life.

Actually, no. The worst part is not his mind creating the scenes (though that ranks pretty high on the 'what the fuck, brain?' scale.)

The worst part is that they  _know._ (Or at least, Ryan knows. Except he must have told Gavin because they're dating and in love or whatever, _is it really 'dating' or is it more about sex? do_ _they 'make love' or fuck? Oh Christ no they're fucking again)_

Ryan was the one to follow him when he fled the room.

He had run outside, trying to get some fresh air. Perhaps that would help. Except that's when he discovered the cloud thing. Maybe it wasn't the best idea.

Ryan caught up to him at that point.

"Geoff? Are you okay?"

He turned, but stared at the ground. "Im fine Ry-" ( _you'll be shouting my name)_  "uh. Im fine." It's all spluttery, totally unconvincing.

"You look like somebody said they're going to eat your family."

"Im  _fine._ Nothing's wrong. I didn't find anything. No. I didn't see- nope."

"Oh god." Understanding set in. "You found the GTA case?"

"No." But it came out as a whimper.

"Geoff, I'm so sorry. You weren't supposed to see that." He started to move toward his friend, but Geoff backed away.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't find anything. I don't keep picturing it.  _Nope."_

He wouldn't look anywhere else but the ground. The ground was safe. There could be no images of Ryan and Gavin on the ground.  _No fuck fuck I fucked up I don't want to see that on the floor now too_

"How did you even find them?"

"It's not hard when the case is on the fucking shelf! Did you think no one would take GTA off the fucking shelf?" He still wouldnt look up. He was yelling at concrete.

"I didn't put it on the shelf!"

"Somebody sure as fuck did!"  _Why do those pebbles look like a dick?_

"Well I'm sorry you found the notes, but I didn't put them where you could find them. Only Gavin was supposed to see it."

Geoff didn't say anything. The whole situation was terrible and he wanted it to be over. Maybe he even wanted life to be over.

"Geoff," Ryan's hand hit his shoulder, and he flinched. "I can explain. Gavin spilled soda all over himself earlier, and when he took his shirt off I just-"

"Please stop."

If he didn't sound so damn broken, Ryan might have laughed. Ok, maybe he did. A little.

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"I don't know." Ryan's hand is still on his shoulder.  _Where have Ryan's hands been on Gavin? Fuck. No._

"I really am sorry. If it helps, it's pretty embarrassing for me too."

It's not that he's embarrassed, it's just that he's been mentally fucked.  _Much like Gavin physically. Stop._

"Uh, I guess I'll let you... cope, or whatever.

"Uh-huh."

Ryan goes back inside, and Geoff just sits on the ground. He's so fucked up.

\----

Two weeks later he still wont make eye contact. He hardly says two words to Ryan or Gavin, and its starting to get old.

Ryan pulls him aside just before they start filming a Minecraft Let's Play.

"Geoff? This has gone on long enough." He takes a deep breath. "I've gotta be honest with you. I wanted you to find those notes."

"You _what?"_

"I was trying to mess with you. I made it all up. Uh, Gavin and I don't do that. He sleeps on the couch. It's a very chaste relationship." 

Of course it's a bunch of bullshit. Gavin slept on the couch  _once,_ and he wasn't even alone. (What, it's a pullout.)

And Geoff knows Ryan is lying through his teeth, but that's ok. He's fine with believing a lie.

"Swear to god?"

"I promise. Now, are we ok?"

"Better. Just please, for the love of god, don't ever do that again."

Things do get better. It takes time, and repeating the mantra  _Ryan and a Gavin don't have sex, Ryan and Gavin don't have sex_ a hundred thousand fucking times, but eventually he can look them each in the eyes.

(It only lasts until he accidentally walks in on them in the office one day, but that's a whole different story.)


	15. It's Always You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Ray/Ryan]  
> [Established AHOT6]  
> [Why do you always find yourself here?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love AHOT6, but find it so much easier to write individual couples. So I compromise and write individuals within.  
> Also I've only written 2nd POV like twice in my life, and they were both poems. I just wanted to try something new.  
> More angsty than normal but I still count it.

You could call anyone.

Four of your five boyfriends can drive and Gavin can get a ride. Or you could call friends you have outside of them. (It doesn't happen often, but sometimes you need something unfamiliar. You mentioned it once. They don't love it but they don't say no) Or you could settle for yourself, like you do most nights. Or you could just grow the fuck up and go to bed.

Instead you call Ryan and Ryan runs over at full speed because that's what Ryan always fucking  _does._ He's the one to cry to, to hold on to when the world is kicking your ass, to whisper  _What am I doing wrong_ to until you're intoxicated not by alcohol, but by the taste of his lips against yours.

Ryan is your safety net.

Ryan is the one you call when you're lonely and you need someone to prove you're not really alone.

You could call anyone.

Except they always have their fun and so do you but then it's over. It becomes "let's go play something" or "let's go get something to eat" or "hey Gavin's texting me I gotta go." It becomes something else or someone else or anything but  _you._

Its never holding you after sex because he doesn't want the moment to end. It's never falling asleep together. It's never stopping smack dab in the middle because even through the heat and the pleasure you still feel pain. It's never kisses that dissolve into giggles because he knows how to make even a perfect moment  _better._ Its never caring more about you than about sex. It's never cooking breakfast together and kissing while the eggs get cold.

But Ryan always,  _always_ is.

You could call anyone.

You call Ryan because even though you love the other guys, and you know they love you, Ryan is the only one to ever say it. Because maybe it's dumb and desperate but you need to know someone loves you when the rest of the world seems to hate you. Because you try so fucking hard to make people happy even when they don't care if you are.

Because you know Ryan can make you forget.

You don't even call. You send a text that has _I need you_ woven into "Are you busy?" But there isn't a reply. Ten minutes later there's a knock at your door and its all the answer you need. 

You try to smile because you he's said he loves the the way you look when you do. It doesn't come off right, but when he kisses you it must change.

You find your ability to speak actual fucking words when you sit on the couch and he wraps his arms around you. You tell him the latest shitty thing they're saying and ask why they seem to hate you so much.

He starts off with "Ray, you know I love you" and you know its going to be a shitty conversation.

It's not. It turns into "you need to stop worrying about what they say. Be you. That's who I love."

He does tell you to watch yourself about being the wrong type of offensive. Know where to bite your tongue.

You say thank you and wonder what you'd do without him.

"Don't even think about it. You'll never have to know."

You could call anyone.

But you keep calling Ryan.

 


	16. Favorite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Mavin]  
> [He'll say he doesn't have a favorite. But he does]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like angsty fluff. Sue me.

If you asked Michael what his favorite day of the week was, he'd tell you to fuck off. Nobody has a favorite day. That's dumb. Have you been hanging out with Ray?

But he'll think about it. He'll go to bed Tuesday night, alone. Wake up Wednesday morning, alone. He'll think its neither of them.

He'll go drinking Thursday night with Gavin and Geoff. They won't get too fucked up, but he'll still shove the Brit against a brick wall, kiss him until they're both light headed. They'll blame the alcohol for that and Geoff won't believe it but they'll all pretend. He'll think maybe that's it.

But he'll go to sleep alone, and know that it's not.

He'll wake up Friday morning slightly hungover. He'll scream at Gavin for screaming. He'll drink too many red bull and make a damn fool of himself. He'll have lunch with Gavin and issue a half-assed apology for screaming earlier. Gavin will look him in the eye and remind him for the millionth fucking time that it's ok, he understands. He'll look just a second too long so that in case Michael's had a stroke in the last week, he'll remember it means more.

They'll record another let's play and he'll laugh his ass off. Everyone will joke about him and Gavin fucking. His laugh will last a beat longer than it should. Gavin's will fall short.

When he goes to leave, Gavin will catch up to him in the parking lot, ask for a ride.

Sometimes he says yes. When he does, they go to Michael's apartment. When he says no, Gavin laughs it off, says it's fine, he'll catch a ride with Geoff. It still ends too soon.

This week he'll say yes because he still hasn't found a good day. They'll go home and make small talk until Michael breaks and kisses him. They'll stumble upstairs to the bedroom, tripping over steps and shoving each other against the walls. It's a faux fight for control. They both know Michael's calling the shots.

But not really. He'll lose himself in skin and heat and  _Gavin._ He has no actual control anymore, not where he wants it. Not over his mouth, from which Gavin's  name will spill so many times he'll lose count in the first five minutes. Not over his hands, which will hold him so tight and close it physically hurts. Not over his mind, which will urge him to pull Gavin closer.

Least of all the fucking feelings inside that will make him pray it never stops. Or the ones the remind him that he doesn't mean sex.

It will end just off of simultaneous, Gavin breaking first. (But that's their whole relationship in a nutshell, isn't it? Gavin just a little bit more invested?)

Friday night will turn into Saturday morning, and Michael will think Friday has to be his favorite.

They'll spend Saturday together, swimming and drinking and not doing much of anything. But they'll act like morons and laugh until they can't breath. This time nothing's too long, nothing's too short.

Gavin will sleep at Michael's again, but they'll actually sleep.

He'll still like Friday more.

They'll wake up on Sunday, but they won't go anywhere. They'll stay in bed, alternating between sex and just holding each other and watching dumb movies on Netflix. They'll talk.

Gavin will giggle a bunch, but so will Michael because he's damn cute. He won't get angry at himself for thinking it this time. 

He'll chuck Gavin's boxers across the room then tell him to go put them on because he's too distracting otherwise. Gavin will try but never get them on because Michael will start laughing, will say that's exactly the kind of distraction he's talking about. 

He'll pretend to get upset, and Michael will pretend he's serious, but ultimately they'll just settle the debate by having sex.

They'll order Chinese delivery and Michael will fall asleep with Gavin pressed against his chest.

He'll still think it's probably a tie with Friday.

But when he's alone again on Monday, he'll think of Sunday.

 


	17. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Ryan has told him a thousand times]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I expanded a bit on a line from Falling.  
> These are so much fun to write.

They have a morning routine.

Ryan wakes up first. His boyfriend is always stretched out, mouth open and snoring. He places a kiss on Gavin's forehead and slides out of bed. He uses the bathroom and goes downstairs to start breakfast.

Breakfast changes. Some days they he goes all out, eggs and bacon and the whole nine yards. Once a week he makes pancakes, because he knows Gavin loves them. Another day is always frozen waffles, and he usually burns the first two. When he wakes up late he pours cereal in bows and forcibly retrieves Gavin.

("I woke up late. Cereal. You gotta get up." He shakes his shoulder over an  over until Gavin gets too pissed off to ignore him.

"Ryan. No."

"Gavin. Yes."

And that's when he picks him up, physically carries him downstairs. Gavin hollers all the way, something about it being undignified and besides, he has to pee.

"You had your chance.")

The one constant in every breakfast is the coffee. 

They keep the fridge well stocked with cans of Starbucks Double Shot. It doesn't matter how strong Ryan makes the coffee, Gavin always needs a little extra.

It started out not quite a secret. He'd pour half the can in Gavin's cup, a quarter into his own, and sticking the other in the fridge to use for his second.

Until the day Gavin gets up unexpectedly early.

He creeps down to the kitchen as usual, finding Ryan still in the midst of cooking. He likes to watch him for a moment, humming to himself as he scrapes eggs around. That's when Ryan's bells go off and he turns, a smile on his face. 

"Good morning."

Gavin hugs him awkwardly, pressing his face against Ryan's shoulder. "Morning, love. Coffee?"

"Counter."

"Is that a double shot? Oh, I have the best idea!"

He starts to pour, and Ryan laughs. "Gavin, don't- I already did that."

"You what?"

"I always put half the can in yours. That's why it's pretty much room temperature every day."

"I knew I loved you for a reason."

And you'd think he'd remember. But everyday he pours more in, and everyday Ryan reminds him.

"It's already in there!"

"Oh, oops."

They also laugh about it everyday. So Ryan doesn't mind.


	18. In Sickness and in Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Sickness being the key word]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely based on me when I'm sick. Or when I have to take care of someone who is.

"Ryan, do you mind getting me a glass of water?"

He doesn't remember signing up for this.

Fine, he did say 'In sickness and in health' but he hadn't quite known how bad the sickness part could be. Not the worrying. No, that was long over. Gavin fever had finally broken a few days ago. Now it was just a general inability to function normally. He simply didn't have the energy.

Ryan hadn't minded at first. All he wanted was for Gavin to get better, whatever it took. If that meant bringing up soup only for it to be deemed too hot, fine. Even bringing it back, except now it's too cold. A third time, and  actually, he's just not hungry. He was  Ok with it the first two days. After a week, it's a bit tiresome.

"Sure thing." He did promise, after all.

He gets the water quickly, hoping that if he goes fast enough, it will speed up Gavin to sleep. He's not sure what the correlation would be, just crosses his fingers that there could be one.

"Your water."

Gavin takes the glass, but frowns. "Actually, ginger ale sounds better."

"Im sure it does, but you should really be drinking water. Which you have."

"But Ry- _an._ I want ginger ale." If he weren't sick, Ryan surely would have punched him at this point, husband or not.

" _Fine._ Ginger ale it is." He pulls the glass from Gavin's hands."But then you need to get some sleep."

"Uh huh." It's completely unconvincing, and Ryan knows that when he gets back Gavin's going to want something else.

On this trip downstairs he takes his time. He's hoping that if he's gone just long enough, Gavin will fall asleep on his own. He doubts it greatly, but he still hopes.

He's wrong to hope. Gavin is still as conscious as he's gonna get.

"Ginger ale, Gavin?" He holds out the glass, waiting for the seal of approval.

"Thanks. You can just set it on the nightstand."

Of course.

"Ryan, can you get me another blanket? I'm cold."

"Yeah, one second." The extra blankets are in their closet, thankfully. No going all the way downstairs. After a moment, he tosses one over the Brit. "There you go, nice and-"

"It's too hot!" He complains, kicking off the blanket.

"Gavin, that's the lightest blanket we own, I swear."

"It's too hot!" He says again, as if it's going to help.

"I- here." He rearranges the covers, pooling the blanket at Gavin's  feet but pulling the top sheet up. "Better?"

"Uh huh." This time it's true.

"Do you need anything else?" 

He shakes his head, eyes blinking rapidly. He's starting to go. He had taken a dose of medication about an hour earlier. It's finally kicking..

"So you're ready to go to bed?" It sounds dumb, considering he's already in bed.

Gavin shakes his head again.

"What do you need now?" What else is there?

Arms up, waiting. Oh. Gently, Ryan leans over and hugs him, rubbing circles onto his back. "Feel better, Gav."

He just nods in response. He's almost asleep now, though he's still fighting it. Ryan pulls back, kisses his forehead. He sits on the edge of the bed, carefully tucking a loose strand of hair behind Gavin's ear. He doesn't like it when Gavin is sick.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

A pause, and then, "Thank you."

"It's what I'm here for."

It is. Sick Gavin is annoying, needy, and picky. But he loves him anyway.


	19. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin]  
> [How did you even wind up in bed together in the first place?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd POV Ray is addicting.  
> In which we find out how Ray losing his virginity got started.  
> Not smut because I still have yet to try my hand at that, at least properly.

You don't know how it happened. One second you're beating the shit out of him in COD, laughing because he sucks even worse when he's drunk. The next his lips are pressed against yours and the game means nothing.

No, that's not quite true.

Youknow _exactly_  how it happened, down to how his knee bumped yours and instead if killing him again you turned away. You know how you ran around like a moron, trying so hard to focus on your character but unable to feel anything but one point. You know how five minutes later he's still touching you but you kill him anyway.

"God, Ray. You're absolutely _fucking_ me." And he laughs,  alcohol making the fact funnier than it probably is.

Except you laugh too, even though you're as sober as  the day you were born. Maybe too sober, considering you are so goddamn aware of the pressure against your knee.  You love drunk-Gavin because he's funny in  a stupid way. He laughs too much, too hard. But it's great.

Drunk-Gavin has few physical boundaries and a terrible memory. It doesn't mean you take advantage, at least not in the traditional sense. You're not forward, you make no moves. But you don't fend off his advances. You let his arm wrap around your shoulders, pull you into his side. You let him take your controller, say nothing when it hits the table and there's a  _crack_ that sounds vaguely worrisome.

You dont push him away when he whispers "keep it up" in your ear. You stare at the controller and swallow, trying to combat the dryness of your mouth. 

"C'mon, Ray. Fuck me some more." Gavin giggles, breath hot on your neck. Breath turns to lips in a second, and its all you can do not to say  _fuck it all_ and do exactly as he says.

You swallow again because you don't know what the fuck else to do. "Gavin, uh, you're really drunk." You say, because what else is there? "I mean, I'm not, um..." Except who knows what the fuck you are? 

You've kissed four girls in your entire life, two guys, and   someone you don't even remember because _that_ night became the reason you don't drink. You're still a virgin. Who are you to definitively say what you are or aren't?

There are vibrations against your neck when he speaks.

"You don't have to be gay to have a bit of fun." 

No you don't, do you? You could have all the fun in the world, and still call yourself whatever you want. You could do this, do Gavin, and walk into work on Monday like nothing ever happened. You know Gavin will. He probably won't remember enough of the night to put anything together. You could make sure that when he wakes up, you're on the couch and it seems like a faraway dream.

Instead you ask the question that's been on your mind since he knocked on your door.

"You ever have fun with Michael?"

Lips pause against your neck, and Gavin exhales loudly.

"What answer gets you to look at me?"

That one, of course. It confirms every suspicion you had, and when you pull away and turn to see, it's written so clearly on his face you wonder how you missed it before. Maybe you just didn't want read then.

Yes, he's done this. He's been in your place, been the one turned to when it as convenient. He's cared more about the situation in front of him. He's taken the hours   he could get because he knew another minute would not be offered. He's been the toy to play with.

And he just wants a chance to play too.

You wonder if Michael went after Gavin because he'd been a toy to someone else. If maybe this love/lust tug of war could be traced back. (You kinda want to meet the guy who started it. You want to hug him, then punch him in the goddamn face.)

You also wonder if Gavin said yes to him for the same reason you will; the chance to be more. Maybe when it happens it'll become something. Maybe his feelings will change. Maybe you'll fall in love or something and live some fucking fairytale happy ending bullshit.

You won't. They didn't. Pretty much no one else in the history of _ever_ did.

But a tiny piece of you clings to hope.

"Ok."


	20. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Myan]  
> [They really do go to lunch all the time. Sometimes things get said accidentally]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Ryan says it first.  
> And they're super fucking awkward about it.  
> And I also have some general format of these.

"Ryan, I've told you a thousand fucking times. You don't always have to buy lunch."

"And I've told you a thousand times, _I_   _don't mind."_

"Well I _do."_

Truthfully, it makes him uncomfortable. It's like he's a child having Daddy buy stuff for him. Which is super fucked up, considering they're sleeping together. But he doesn't like Ryan thinking of him as an irresponsible  _kid._ He knows how to handle money.

"I still don't get that. Im just trying to do a nice thing." He keeps his voice low, trying not to draw attention to them. They're sitting at a booth in a diner they frequent often; he doesn't want to end up too embarrassed to come back.

"It's a nice thing if you do it  _once,_ Ryan. Not every fucking time we go out." Michael doesn't care about volume. He practically shouts, startling the poor waitress enough that she drops a tray with a loud clatter.

"It's not every time."

"It damn sure is! Hey, Sherri," he turns toward the waitress, who's now behind the counter, pretending not to listen. "The last four times we've been in here," all of which took place in the last week and a half "whose name has been on the card every time?"

Ryan rolls his eyes, and Michael glances at him. "This doesn't prove-"

"Shut the fuck up, it does. Now let the the woman talk." He gestures to her, waiting.

They're regulars, she knows them. She knows Ryan will try and talk around any answer she gives, so it's almost pointless. But she also knows Michael won't let it go.

"James." She says finally. "James Haywood."

She asked once about the discrepancy in names. Michael told her to mind her own damn business. His boyfriend gently explained that he goes by his middle name.

"I fucking told you!"

"That's not-"

"It  _is!"_ Michael slams his hand on the table, and the dishes jump.

"Fine, whatever! That still doesn't explain why this is such a big fucking deal! So I pay for lunch. Who cares?" They're far past not drawing attention to themselves.

"But why do you always do it?"

"To be a nice fucking person!"

"Buying food does  _not_ equal not being a dick."

There's only one other patron in the diner. He's staring.

"Well excuse me! Treating the guy I love to lunch a lot. What an asshole I am!"

"Oh fuck off."

But his mind is racing. They've never actually said... that. The 'L' word.

Ryan's eyes widen as he realizes what he just said. Of course he loved Michael, of course Michael loved him. They both knew these things. It was  a given. They had just never bothered to actually  _say_ it. Naturally it would come out during an argument. It's pretty fitting, for them.

Neither man has spoken for a full minute. Michael takes a sip of his drink, which is mostly just melted ice at this point. He's not exactly sure what to do. Should he say it back? Sure he feels it too but how do you follow up 'fuck off' with 'I love you'? Right. You don't.

Ryan is staring down at his plate. He doesn't know what to do. He hadn't meant for it to come out like that. Ever. He'd always thought he'd blurt it out in bed, or over dinner. Or Michael would say it first then follow it with 'stop smiling you fuck.' But things don't always go the way you think they might. Which is why he's totally unprepared for the situation.

The waitress is pretending to wipe the counter, but really she's waiting. They're regulars, so she's slightly emotionally invested. She thinks they're adorable together, and she wants them to go the distance. The tense silence worries her. Things have got to work out.

"So." Ryan says, eyes still on his fork. "Well then."

"Yeah." Michael fiddles with his straw. "How 'bout that."

"Are you gonna, uh... You know?" He'd feel a lot better if he weren't the only idiot here.

"What? Just 'cause you said it now I gotta say it too?" The straw really isn't that interesting.

Neither is the plate. "Do you... not, or...Because I thought, um."

"No, I mean... im not saying I don't. 'Cause, like, I do, or whatever. I just don't think I should have to  _say_ it just because you did."

"But you do?" He never noticed the knot in the wood.

"Well yeah. I just fucking said that." He wants to go back to yelling. He knows how to do that.

"Im sorry it pains you to admit it."

"It doesn't-" he looks up "fuckin' hell, Ryan. It doesn't 'pain me'. Don't start that passive aggressive bullshit."

But Ryan is smiling now, because this is familiar. It's  what they're built on. "So I change my mind."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Well I admitted that I love you-"

"So did I." He doesn't know where this is going, but he can feel that he won't like it.

"No, I actually said it. You just agreed." Michael starts to protest, but he cuts him off "Anyway, that little fact, combined with it apparently being  _such_ a problem that I buy lunch, fine. I won't." He grins and focuses on a spot above Michael's right shoulder. He still hasn't actually looked him in the eye. "You go ahead and treat."

"You motherfucker." He's only trying to get a rise out of Michael. Its working.

"C'mon. Today was emotionally trying. Don't you think you  _owe_ me-"

"I swear to God I hate you."

That's what he's been waiting for. His cue. It's only now he finally meets Michael's eyes.

"No you don't." He says confidently, a smirk on his face.

And Michael wants to keep an angry expression, but he can't help it. He laughs. "Fuck you." He manages through his own grin.

"Nah, we've gotta get back go work." He slides out of the booth, taking on  last sip of his soda. "Thanks for lunch though." He backs toward the door, smiling broadly. "I'll meet you in the car!"

The bell jingles, signalling his official exit.

Asshole.

Sherri comes up then, check in hand. She tries to hide her smile, but isn't so successful.

"He's such a dick sometimes." Michael says, pulling his wallet from his pocket.

"Oh come on." She clears plates away. "You know you love him"

Through the  front window, he can see Ryan in the car, messing with the radio. There's no way he can deny it.

"Yeah, maybe. He's still a pain in the ass though."

But even as he says it, he can feel the smile tugging at his lips.


	21. Directions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Gavin is terrible at reading maps]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote angst earlier and it broke my fucking heart so I had to let Gavin be happy again.

"Gavin, what exit number is it?"

Silence.

"Is it the next one?"

"Umm."

"Gavin!"

In his defence, Ryan should never have put him in charge of directions. He's terrible with them. Maps always confused him, because roads turned and how could you properly see anything in the damn folds? Right, you couldn't. Besides, he'd suggested GPS. Obviously that was the best solution. But no, they had to do this the old fashioned way. 

("Really? You're an advocate for traditions?"

"Ooh, advocate. Big word, Gavin. Im proud."

"Seriously. How the hell is this going to be 'old fashioned' when we're literally going on a romantic trip together?"

"Technically it's just a vacation."

"Technically we both know we're not going to leave the hotel for the first two days.")

At this point he had unfolded the map so much it was  taking up the majority of the passenger seat.

"Gavin, what the hell are you even  _doing?"_ Ryan glances over as a corner pokes him in the cheek.

"I'm trying to fix this damn map!"

"If you could make it tell me what exit number I'm supposed to get off at, that'd be nice."

"Shut up!" He continues wrestling the large sheet. Ryan is almost positive it's doubled in size since they bought it. "I think it's- ow!"

"What'd you do?"

"Goddamn paper cut. I think-"

"Well then by all means, focus on that. I don't need directions or anything." Turns out Ryan gets snippy when he's lost.

"I'm trying to bloody well tell you, if you'd shut up for one goddamn second!" He peeks over the edge of the devil-spawn...er, the map.

"Okay fine, tell me!"

"I think its 293."

As they pass a sign, Ryan checks. "Oh hey, we're almost there. Awesome."

"You're welcome!" Gavin huffs, slightly miffed.

"Yes, Gavin." Ryan says sarcastically, as he pulls onto the exit. "Thank you for your clear and calm directions, given in a very timely manner. They were extremely helpful."

"Oh fuck off, we were fine."

"We almost missed the exit." They're braking, nearing the light. It's red.

"But we didn't." Gavin points out, still struggling to refold the map.

"But- oh for Christ's sake, here." Ryan leans over and expertly shrinks the map back to normal. Less gently, he shoves it in the glove box. "I know where I'm going from here. The website said one mile north of the exit ramp." 

"How the hell did you do that?" Gavin is dumbfounded. Also, why hadn't he done that twenty minutes ago?

"It's not rocket science, Gavin." Ryan laughs as he turns left.

"It's worse! At least someone could teach you that. I'm just an idiot who can't work a goddamn map."

"You're not an idiot." He says sharply. He doesn't like it when Gavin is hard on himself.

"Are you sure? Because I think most people can fold a map." He doesn't see himself the way Ryan does.

Ryan knows he's brilliant in his own way. He's creative. He sees things differently than a lot of people. That results in the unique way he perceives and interprets the world. His mind is something that fascinates Ryan.

Without looking, he reaches over and takes his boyfriend's hand. "Yes I'm sure. Most people would never come up with half the ideas you do. You are smart, Gavin. You're just silly a lot of the time."

"Silly?" He laughs, gently squeezing his hand.

"Yes, silly. And I love you for that."

"You're so corny, Ryan. But," He smiles, waits for his boyfriend to look over. When he finally does, he finishes the thought. "I love you for it."


	22. Prom?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Ray/Ryan]  
> [Established AHOT6]  
> [High School AU. Ray kinda wants to go to prom. Ryan thinks it's dumb]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time publishing AU. This idea popped into my head and I couldn't say no.

The weekends are usually spent at Geoff's apartment. He's the only one who lives alone, so it's the only place they can just be themselves. They can lay around, throwing playful insults that often lead to wrestling, which almost always results in making out on the floor.

They can talk about this thing that they are. They can joke about who prefers to bang who. They can sit on each other and act like what they are: boyfriends in love.

None of that can be done anywhere else. Certainly not at anybody else's home. Only one parent had ever found out about the group relationship. Geoff's, and now he lives alone. Do the math there. The idea of going out in public would be laughable, if it wasnt so fucking stupid. The world was hardly ready for monogamous gay relationships, much less polyamrous ones.

So they sit around Geoff's apartment, pretending to watch tv but mostly just reveling in the time.

Michael and Gavin are sharing a lay-z-boy, completely wrapped up in each other. Ray is snuggled in to Ryan's side, his feet in Jack's lap. Geoff is beside him, asleep.

Something's been bugging Ray. He's thought about bringing it up, but has been worried about what the response would be. Finally he just goes for it.

"Guys? I had a thought."

The couple in the chair make no indication that he was heard, Geoff snores, and when he glances at Jack he finds the bearded man asleep too.

"What's your thought, Ray?" Ryan's voice is low in his ear.

"Uh, prom."

"I don't think that's a new thing. High schools have been pushing that asinine tradition for a long time."

"No, I meant... Are we all going?" He doesn't know why he's nervous. Maybe because he's the youngest. Maybe because he's the newest. Maybe it's Ryan's quiet laugh that tickles his neck. Maybe it's a combination of all three.

"Why the fuck would we do that?"

"It could be fun."

It really could. He imagines dressing in a nice suit, riding in Geoffs shitty car to the community center. He imagines watching his boys get drunk because the older boys snuck flasks in. Pretending to just be a group of friends who are weirdly close. Probably Ryan pulling him into the bathroom to make out, only to get interrupted by some nerd who got turned down by 2nd place prom queen. Jack gently instructing him on where to turn because Ray is the only one of them who's sober and Jack is showing it the least. Spending the night at Geoff's because hotels are expensive as fuck but they still want to be together.

_It could be a lot of fun._

"Ray." Ryan says gently, and he's regretting saying anything. "I really can't imagine the six of us at  _prom,_ you know?"

"Well why not? I mean, yolo, right?" Maybe if he makes it seem like a joke it'll be less embarrassing.

"Yeah, you're right. We have a finite amount of time. Why the fuck would we spend it in a room full of judgemental assholes who are gonna say dumb shit?"

He has a point. But he still kinda wants to go, assholes be damned.

"You guys never went to yours."

"Yeah. There's a reason for that."

"But-"

"No, Ray. It's not a good idea."

It comes out harsher than he intended, and Ray stiffens, leaning away from his boyfriend. He drops his feet from Jack's lap to the floor, scooting to the edge of the couch.

"Fine. Fuckin sorry I brought it up."

"Ray, come on." Ryan sits up, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Yeah, 'cause getting rejected by my boyfriend feels fucking great." He's angry. Ryan could've gone about it in so many ways. Ways that didn't include flat out saying no without any actual discussion. 

"I didn't mean-" Ryan sighs heavily. "You really wanna go to the fucking prom?"

"Well... Yeah, I do. I think it'd be fun."

"Fine. We'll go to the fucking prom." He reaches behind Ray, shakes Jack's shoulder. "Jack, wake up."

"Hpph... What?"

"Apparently we're all going to the lads' prom."

"Ryan,don't-"

"Did somebody fuckin say prom?" Geoff's awake now too, and he's leaning forward, looking down the couch and at the youngest boy.

"Ray wants to go." Ryan answers, a warning look on his face. He feels bad for the way he reacted earlier. He'd rather the rest of them do better.

"Are you fucking-"

"Geoff. Ray really wants to go. He thinks it'll be fun." Ryan's hand falls back into place around his shoulders, pulling him close. "And you know, it might be."

Geoff meets his eyes briefly, reading into the situation.

"...Fine. Im gonna need alcohol though. No way I can go back to that shithole without being at least a little drunk."

Ryan laughs. "If you can get it in."

"Hey, I'm a master of 'getting it in.' Ray knows." He raises an eyebrow, and Ray snorts. It is true.

"Uh, Ray?" Jack says, hand on his back. "I hate to be a downer, but I don't think they'll let us go. We're not students anymore." 

Ray shrugs. "Paperwork. All they'll do is make sure you don't have a record, and it'll be fine. As long as you're each technically a date of me, Gavin or Michael, they can't say anything."

"What about Gavin and Michael?" They've finally torn the curly headed boy away from the Brit in his lap.

"We're all going to prom." Geoff answers.

"The fuck we-" Michael begins, but Gavin cuts him off.

"Prom?" He hollers, spinning and flailing until he's facing the couch. "Yes! It'll be top!"

"Fucking hell, Gavin. What are you-" but he cuts him off again.

"We gotta get the papers so you all can come. We'll dance to shitty songs and Geoff will probably sneak in some form of alcohol and we'll stay here and it'll be _top!"_

Ray has to admit, he never anticipated Gavin being so excited. But he's grateful for it.

"Ok, fine. We'll go to fucking prom." Geoff points, "Ray and Ryan, Michael and Jack, Gavin and Geoff. Officially, at least."

"Yes!" Gavin shouts.

"Im gonna punch you in the fucking face." Michael grumbles, trying to pull Gavin back around. They had been perfectly happy a moment ago.

"Oh, shush."

"Make me." Michael says, grabbing his waist roughly.

" _Mi-coo!"_

And they're lost again, wrapped up in each other.

"Ok, that's settled." Geoff stands, makes his way toward the stairs. "I'm going the fuck back to sleep."

Jack quickly follows, laughing. "No you're not."

"What do you-" Geoff turns, confused, until he sees Jack's grin. " _Oh."_ He glances at Ray and Ryan, quietly watching from the couch. "Who needs sleep?" He jokes, a smile on his own face.

In a second they're gone, and its basically just Ray and Ryan. The other lads wouldn't notice if a train came through the room.

"Thanks, Ry."

"Nah, it's fine. I get that it's important to you. If it'll make you happy we'll do it. Even if it  _is_ prom."

Ray smiles. This is why he loves Ryan. "So technically, you're my date. I expect a limo, roses. The whole nine yards. Treat me like a lady."

"Oh yeah, I will." And then Ryan's lips are on his, and he's being pushed down.

The whole damn house could fall down, and he wouldn't notice a thing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is a part 1. Yes, there will be more. Yes there will be dumb cute stuff.


	23. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Non-pairing]  
> [Ryan is not having a good week]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of Baby AU. Except slightly older.  
> Basically Jack and Geoff are the parents, Ryan is fifteen, and the lads are around five-ish.  
> Warning:Bullying.

Ryan kind of hates his life.

Being fifteen is hard enough if you're what people deem 'normal'. If you're not, it sucks even worse. If you're the oldest adopted son of two gay parents who have three other sons, you carry a cow backpack, and you often make rather disturbing jokes, you're basically screwed.

People generally ignored Ryan. No body sought him out, whether to be nice or mean. They just didn't notice him. He was cool with that. He had a couple of close friends. They ate lunch together and sometimes he'd escape babysitting his brothers long enough to go to one of their houses. Naturally, he didn't have a girlfriend. 

("Or boyfriend." Jack would always point out. Because it was helpful to be reminded that another gender didn't want him either. Sure.)

And then he met Claire.

She was nice, albeit boring. She didn't always get the jokes he'd tell.

("I just don't see how you can find torture funny, James."

He'd remind her for the millionth time that he preferred  _Ryan,_ and she'd roll her eyes. She liked James better.)

She was average in a lot of ways. She maintained a 3.0 GPA, wore plain jeans everyday, and always pulled her brown hair back in a ponytail. She, much like him, went unnoticed by the majority of the school. Unlike him, she had no personality to speak of, and her exile was not her own decision.

But she was a living, breathing human being who claimed to like him. She was warm. Sometimes she kissed him. (Never around people. Never long, either. Just a brief meeting of lips because isn't that what boyfriends and girlfriends do?)

As far as whether he liked her? Eh. She was technically better than being alone. He didn't think it'd hurt that much when they broke up.

Except it kind of did.

She approached him one Thursday as he made his way to the bus.

"This just isn't working, James." She said, one hand on his shoulder. Sympathy, apparently.

"Ryan." He said quickly, before her words registered. "Oh. Um, ok."

"We're just not right for each other." 

"Ok." He wasn't sure what else to say.

Her eyes narrowed, and she pulled back her hand. "Ok? You're not gonna fight for me? For us?"

"Um, don't do this?" He guessed that's what she wanted. He knew very little of relationships. He sort of figured if one person wanted to break up, that's what you did. Clearly they didn't want to be there anymore. Why try and convince them to stay part of something they didn't want?

"James." She said sadly, shaking her head. Her hand came back to his shoulder.

"Ryan." He corrected again.

"Im sorry. But no. This is the end for us."

"Ok."

"Are you going to be alright?" What the hell was up with the pity in her voice? Did she really think she was such a prize?

"Uh, yeah. Eventually." It came out sarcastically, as he intended. It flew over her head though.

"Good. I think its best if we don't talk for awhile."

"Yeah, probably." She still didn't hear it. Whatever.

She left him with one last kiss on his cheek.

As he sat on the bus on the way home, he thought about the exchange. He had just been broken up with. Huh. Well that sucked. Sure, he wasn't particularly invested in Claire, but he still liked her. She could be nice. Plus he'd liked the feeling of having someone. Even if she called him the wrong name and never laughed at his jokes and sometimes made him carry her heavy backpack. She was still his first girlfriend. The thought of it being over made him sad. Not enough to cry or anything, but he felt a sense of loss.

He figured he'd have to tell Geoff and Jack at some point. Probably after the lads went to bed. 'Hey I got dumped today' wasn't really polite dinner conversation. He didn't expect them to already know.

The door was open before he reached the driveway, and Geoff stood there with a gentle smile on his face. "Hey, buddy." He called as Ryan walked toward him.

"Hey. Im not late, am I? I thought the bus left on time, I walked like normal-"

"No, you're not late. You're fine." As he reached the tattooed man, Geoff wrapped an arm around his shoulder, halting him at the door. "Claire called."

"Oh." First she says they shouldn't talk, then she calls his house? What the hell? "What'd she want?"

"Well, she told me that the two of you broke up. And apparently she wants to keep your jacket for" he made air quotes with the hand not resting on Ryan's shoulder "sentimental reasons."

"Oh. Did you want me to try and get it back?"

"Nah, you needed a new one anyway. But that's not the point." He pulled away enough to look the teen in the eye. "You guys broke up. Are you ok? Do you need to talk?"

"Um, nah. Im fine, really. It's sad, yeah, but Claire was... I'll be fine." He would be. He'd go up to his room, play a computer game.

"You sure?" Geoff seemed surprised he was taking it so well. From what he heard (and slightly remembered) teenagers were supposed to be devastated after their first break up. Ryan didn't seem to care.

"Im sure." He broke out of the embrace that was by this point making him uncomfortable. "I'll be in my room if you need me."

Geoff was dumbfounded. Kid really should have been more upset. "Well... Ok. Jack and I are down here if you need to talk."

"Yep." But he was halfway up the stairs.

That night he played his game, did his homework, had dinner. It was  normal. He genuinely wasn't upset about the breakup. And he would have continued to move on, except for the next day.

He had made it through the day fine. His friends didn't say anything about Claire's lack of appearance at lunch. He didn't either, figuring they knew. The guess was evidenced by the sympathetic glances the kept sending him. He just ignored it.

It was the last ten minutes of seventh period before Joel finally lost it.

"Ok, dude, when are we gonna talk about what happened with you and Claire?" They were in the back of the room, just waiting for the bell. It had been a test day, and everyone had finished early. Rather than tax their brains with more ways to change a sine wave, the teacher had allowed them to talk.

"Me and Claire? Well, we broke up."

"No shit, I know that! But what happened?"

"I don't know. Different interests, I guess." That's what people usually said, right?

There was a snort from a nearby desk, and Joel turned. "What's so funny?" He didn't care for people eavesdropping.

"Just that I don't think their breakup was over  _different_ interests. I bet your interests are in the exact same thing." 

Ryan remembered this guy from elementary school. He'd been a total asshole about Ryan having two dads, and that's about when he'd decided alone was best.

"The fuck does that mean?" Joel could get angry very fast.

"Joel." He said with a warning tone. He really didn't want to start something with this asshole.

"It means they both wanted the same thing. Dick." The guy gave him a disgusted glare. "Gay-boy, just like his  _dads."_ The last word was said both sarcastically and as if he'd had a bad taste in his mouth.

"Fuck off, Ryan's not gay." It was supposed to be helpful, but it rubbed him the wrong way. Why would it even matter?

"You want me, Damien?" 

"What the fuck are you talking about?" The guy backed up a step, but Ryan matched it.

"See, the only reason you should care who  _I_ might want to sleep with, is if  _you_ wanna sleep with me. Do you wanna sleep with me, Damien?"

"Fuckin- no!  _You're_ the one-"

"Then mind your own fucking business."

The timing literally could not have been better, because the bell rang and gave him a means of escape. He hadn't meant to explode like that. It just pissed him off when people acted that way. Why should anybody care what he was? Or what his dads were? It shouldn't  _matter._

He spent the bus ride fuming.  _What a fucking prick._

When he made it home, he was still angry. It just wasn't his week. First he gets broken up with, then dealing with Damien the homophobic dickwad. Awesome.

He called out a harsh "Hello" and stomped up to his room. He tossed his bag on the floor and launched himself across the bed. At least it was Friday.

Within a minute of the door closing there came a knock.

"Hey, Ryan? Can I come in?" It was Jack, concern filling his voice.

"Yeah, sure." He was facing away from the door, so he could only hear it open, close, then feel the bed shift. A hand on his back.

"What happened?"

"I hate people." The response was muffled by his pillow.

"You're gonna have to be more specific." Jack chuckled, gently stroking his back.

"Can I ask you something?" He turned his head to the side so he could be heard more clearly.

"Always."

"Do people ever say stuff to you and Geoff? Because you're married and you've got us kids and some people are... um.." He searched for a word he could use that wouldn't result in putting a dollar in the jar. "Um." He couldn't find one.

"Giant dicks?" Jack filled in.

"Exactly, thank you."

"Honestly? Sometimes. We live in Texas, it's to be expected. But we ignore it. We're happy, and we do our best to make you guys happy. That's what matters. Did somebody-"

"Sort of." He doesn't even need the rest of the question. "Just somebody saying something dumb. I handled it."

"Do I wanna know?"

"Probably not."

"Am I gonna get a call from the school?"

"You shouldn't, no." Which is true. They'd been in the back of the room, he didn't think anybody'd paid much attention.

"Well then I'm sure you did the right thing."

"Thanks, Jack." 

"No problem buddy." He stood, ruffling Ryan's hair on the way up. "Dinner in a about an hour, ok?"

"Mhmm." He still hadn't looked up. He heard the door open and close again, and he was alone.

He didn't move from the bed. Talking to Jack had helped slightly, but the whole incident with Damien still pissed him off.  _It shouldn't matter._ He thought to himself for the thousandth time that afternoon.

He was in the middle of a thousand and one when there was another knock at the door. It was quiet, low to the ground. One of the lads. It was followed by a small voice. "Ryan?"

"Uh, yeah." He finally turned himself to face the door. It opened, and through it came a dirty blonde boy in a green shirt. He had a sheet of paper in his hands. "Hey, Gavin. What's up?"

"Geoffy said you're sad. I made you this." He held out the paper, but it wasn't very helpful since he was barely even in the room.

Ryan pulled himself to a sitting position and motioned Gavin over. "Come here." He patted the bed, indicating the boy should sit beside him.

Instead, Gavin just moved closer. He stood nervously, still holding the paper out the same way, only Ryan could reach it now. He took it gently, careful not to crease it. It was a drawing of what Ryan assumed was him, holding a child's hand. He and Gavin were stick figures standing above green grass, and in the sky were the words 'Gavin loves Ryan!!!' The last exclamation point appeared to emerge from the sun, though that may have been because half the page was sun.

"I drew a big Sun 'cause of the time you said yellow makes people happy. 'Member? I wanted to make you happy." The words were quiet, practiced.

It reminded Ryan how little time he actually spent with Gavin. Sure, he was babysitting them all the time, but that didn't really count. That was all the lads, and sometimes Lindsay, the little girl from down the block. He was always so busy dealing with them as a  _group,_ He often forget about them as  _individuals._ He desperately needed more one on one time with the lad.

The realization made him sadder than the breakup ever could. It was why Gavin was nervous being in his room, why he kept shifting back and forth from foot to foot and wouldn't look him in the eye. Why he was standing.

He set the picture on his nightstand. "Come here, you." He said, gently pulling Gavin onto his lap and hugging him tightly. "This does make me happy, thank you."

"Really?" 

"Really."

Gavin looked up at him with questioning eyes. "Geoffy said you're sad. How come you're sad?"

He could've gently explained the incident, but decided against it. It was probably better not to upset him. "Well, do you remember Claire? She was my girlfriend? She came over a few times?" Gavin nodded vigorously. "Well, she's not my girlfriend anymore."

Gavin gasped, and Ryan suppressed a laugh. "What happened?" He seemed shocked by the news.

"Uh,you know, sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes people just don't love each other."

Gavin threw his arms around Ryan's neck. "I always love you, Ryan!"

He couldn't help the smile on his face. "I always love you too."

The lad pulled back again to look at him "Sure that's all you're sad about?"

Damn the kid could be smart sometimes. He nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. Just... _love_ and stuff." Gavin giggled loudly, and Ryan chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"Love and stuff." He repeated, a goofy grin on his face. An idea struck him, and he lightly smacked the older boy's arm excitedly. "It's like us, Ryan! Love and Stuff! Like I'm love, cause I'm lovely," (Ryan fought back a laugh) "and you're the... um..." He seemed to lose his analogy.

"The stuff?" Ryan giggled. "Yeah, I'm the stuff, 'cause I do more stuff. Like going to school longer" he added hastily, before Gavin could get too indignant about his schedule.

"Yeah!" He smiled, listening to his brother giggle. "Did I make you feel better, Ryan?"

He hugged the young boy tightly. "You sure did, Gav. Thank you."

They stayed like that for a moment, until a flash and a loud shutter sound grabbed their attention.

"Awww, isn't that sweet?" Geoff was showing Jack the picture on his phone.

"Sure is."

"I wanna see! I wanna see!" Gavin started yelling, tearing out of his brothers arms and rushing toward the men.

Gavin's yelling quickly captured the attention of the other lads, and within thirty seconds the whole group was in his room, taking more pictures and arguing over who got to be in more. Ryan sat quietly on his bed, watching the shenanigans. But only for a moment, because Ray and Michael pulled him toward the group, trying to get him to participate. 

Before long he was on his bedroom floor and the three lads were all half sitting on him, trying to take funny pictures.

Yeah, maybe sometimes he had bad weeks. And maybe sometimes people said dumb crap. But as long as he had his family, he'd make it through anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was actually really long. I don't know what happened. It went from 'Gavin taking care of Ryan because he's sick' to 'child Gavin cheering Ryan up' to whatever this was.  
> It was super fun to write though!


	24. 'Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Non-pairing]  
> [Family AU]  
> [Jack and Geoff are out of town, and Ryan's a great big brother]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Ryan is an adorable brother again, Ray has a bad dream, Gavin doesn't like being alone, and Michael pretends he doesn't need anybody.

At one a.m. there was a knock on his door.

It wasn't really necessary, since his door was open, but a few weeks ago he made a big deal about 'knocking before you enter' And even terrified Ray wanted to be polite.

"Ryan?"

He sat up in a heartbeat, because  _What is going on?_ Ray was standing in his doorway, pillow clutched in his shaking hand.

"Ray? What's up?" He made a 'come in' gesture, and immediately pulled the boy onto the bed when he got close enough.

"I had a bad dream and I got scared and its dark and-" the last part was difficult to understand through the rapid breaths. He was trying very hard not to cry.

"Ok, ok. You're fine. Whatever happened in your dream, it's not real. You're safe." Ryan wrapped an arm around his shoulders, hugging him close. "Do you wanna tell me about it?"

With a sniffle, Ray shook his head. "Nuh-uh."

"You sure? It might help." Whenever he had a bothersome dream, it usually helped to tell someone. Made it more like a story than a possible truth.

"Um, Jack and Geoffy were away," ah, shit. The two  _were_ out of town, in Colorado. Jack's idea. "And the phone rang and you talked to someone. Then you told us they weren't gonna come back. That they were d-de-" the last word was stuttered through sobs. Ryan didn't have to hear the whole thing to know what he was saying.

"Oh, Ray, shh." In an attempt to be comforting, he gently rubbed the boy's arms. "It's ok. Geoff and Jack are fine, I promise. They're gonna be home in a couple days. They're gonna bring us presents and tell us all about their trip and it'll be  _fine._ I promise, ok?"

Ray nodded, though he was still crying.

"You wanna stay in here with me?" More nodding. "Ok. Here." Gently, he wiped away the tears with his thumb. He took the pillow, shifted until he was back to lying flat. He placed the pillow over his arm, patted his chest. "Come on."

Ray snuggled up close, sighing contentedly. It was a twin bed, so it was tight fit. But that was ok. As long as it made Ray feel better.

"Thank you, Ryan."

"Hey, no problem. Its what I'm here for."

Ray fell asleep quickly, tears forgotten. Ryan didn't have quite the same luck. He thought about the time before the lads, when it was just Jack and Geoff and him. He couldn't count the number of times he'd woken up scared and went to their room for comfort. They always told him the same thing: whatever he had dreamt wasn't real. It couldn't get him. It never happened. Then they'd let him sleep in between them, and the last thing he'd remember would be Geoff's hand on his back.

He had almost drifted off again when there was another sound. This time it was voices, and a slight altercation in the doorway.

"Just come  _on,_ Gavin."

"Micoo, no! We're s'posed to knock first!"

"He's sleepin'. He's not gonna care."

"Ow! Mi- _coo!"_

"Hey." He tried to keep his voice a quiet but stern whisper. Ray was still asleep. "What's going on?"

"Gavin misses Geoff." Michael said flatly, much closer than Ryan anticipated. He was right by the edge of the bed.

"Keep your voice down, Ray's asleep."

"No I'm not." Ray half-mumbled, twisting around to face the new comers.

It was one thirty in the morning and the whole damn house was awake. Awesome.

"Ok, here we go." He sat up, slipping out from beneath Ray's pillow. Carefully he reached over to turn his bedside lamp on. It cast the room in a soft yellow light. "What's up, guys?"

"Gavin misses Geoff." Michael repeated, sitting at the end of the bed. The boy in question simply stood next to him, looking embarrassed.

"I didn't say that!"

"Well it's true!"

"Gavin, it's ok." His bottom lip was quivering, and Ryan knew it was a short trip to another crying brother. "It's the middle of the night now, but first thing in the morning we'll call. Alright?"

Gavin nodded, though he still looked like he was ready to cry.

"In the meantime, I have an idea." Gently, he nudged Michael off the bed with his foot, and helped Ray move too. "Come on, everybody up." He pulled himself to the edge and handed Ray his pillow. "You take this. And you," he turned to Michael, and held out his own pillow "can you take this for me?" The curly headed boy nodded and hugged it tight to his chest. "Thank you." He stood and picked Gavin up in one smooth movement. "And  _you_ come here." The small boy buried his face in his neck almost immediately."Come on, everybody follow me." 

The group marched out of the room and down the hall to their parents' room. Michael paused in the doorway.

"Are we 'llowed in here when they're not home?"

"Um. Well, I'm in charge, and I say it's ok."

Michael wasn't convinced. "But-"

"Michael. Just... Ok? In the morning when I call, I'll tell them everything. Promise." He really just wanted to go to sleep at this point.

"Uh-huh."

"Now go on, lay down." He pointed toward the bed with his left hand, which wasn't supporting a sleepy Gavin.

Michael did as instructed, crawling between the sheets. He was  quickly followed by Ray. Gently, he set Gavin on the bed.

"I'll be right back, ok?"

He jogged back to his own room to shut the light off. On the way back he made a pit stop in the boys' room to grab Gavin's blanket. The boy claimed he didn't need it, but Ryan insisted. While he clung to it, Ryan attempted to make his way around him, trying to get to the middle of the large bed.

In seconds, Ray leaned his pillow against his stomach, proceeding to fall asleep sideways. Gavin cuddled up to his other side, using Ryan's arm as a pillow. Only Michael remained curled into himself above Ray.

Ryan glanced at him, a smile on his face. "What about you?" He stretched his arm toward him, indicating there was room.

"I'm fine." He was just being stubborn he didn't want to admit needing to be comforted like that.

"Ok." Ryan said, turning his head away and closing his eyes. He knew Michael would come around eventually.

Sure enough, a few moments later he could hear him quietly shifting, then crawling up to rest his head on Ryan's chest. He was lying sideways like his brother, and he let out a sleepy sigh. Ryan was  almost positive he thought his older brother had already fallen asleep.

Slowly, he bent his arm until his hand came to rest on Michael's stomach. He felt the boy tense, then sigh again. "Goodnight, Ryan." He whispered.

He patted his belly. "Goodnight."


	25. Prom.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Focus on Ray/Ryan]  
> [Established AHOT6]  
> [High school AU]  
> [The boys go to prom]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for this being really fucking long.  
> Part 2.

Ray was nervous as hell.

He shouldn't have been. It was  just prom. A stupid tradition he wouldn't even remember in twenty years. The night wasn't even for guys like him. Prom was for the popular guys with pretty girlfriends and sports based scholarships. None of which applied to him. (Well, maybe the pretty girlfriend part. Sometimes Gavin put a little too much effort into his appearance.)

Besides, it wasn't supposed to be much different than any other  night. They'd all go together in Geoff's shitty car. They'd get fast food (except tonight they'd make jokes about doing so while wearing suits) They'd show up at the community center and pretend not to be as close as they were. (Except tonight it'd be harder to hide) Everybody but him would get drunk. (Except tonight maybe he needs a little liquid courage too.) They'd go back to Geoff's and probably end up fooling around. (Except tonight maybe it'd be different)

He knew all of this, and yet his palms were sweaty and he felt too tightly wound. He kept checking his watch, except, no, he wasn't wearing it. Right. He'd check the clock, but less than a minute had gone by since the last time.

His mother thought it was all very funny.

"You're so nervous, like you're going on a date. It's just your friends."

Except of course, that was bullshit. They weren't just his friends. Though technically Ryan was his only date, they pretty much all were.

She didn't know that though. Nor would she ever, if he had any say about it.

He glanced at the clock again. 7:28. Michael had said seven thirty. It was supposed to start at eight but who the hell showed up on time for prom? They half figured they'd get there around eight thirty. At least by nine. That's when the doors closed and, to quote Geoff "There's no way I paid thirty fuckin bucks for this ticket and I'm not gonna get in." The plan was to stop for food first.

7:30 on the nose. Where the fuck were they? He sat on the edge of the couch, hands trying to smooth out his pants. His legs were bouncing, impatient. Then he considered the idea that he was wrinkling his suit, and stood back up. He checked out the window again. Still nothing.  _Where the fuck were they?_

He pulled his phone from his pocket. Maybe he had missed a call, or a text. He was scrolling through old messages, pretending that might help, when he heard it. The glorious sound of a car door closing. He had just replaced his phone when there was a knock.

"Just a sec." He called, checking his reflection in the mirror by the door one more time. Black suit, black shirt, dark red tie. Glasses straight. He looked OK. Deep breath. He opened the door, and was totally unprepared for the sight before him.

Ryan stood there, bouncing on his heels slightly. Ray had seen him in a suit only one other time, at his graduation. But that was before Ray was really part of the group, and then Ryan spent most of the time under the graduation gown. After, he'd refused the jacket and spent most of the night with a loosened tie. But not tonight. No, tonight he looked  _good._ He wore a plain black suit, a white dress shirt and a deep teal tie. Ray had to assume Lindsay had helped pick that out because it just complimented his eyes so goddamned well. His blonde hair was combed neatly, and his black dress shoes shined.

He looked  _really fucking good._

"You ready?"

He couldn't actually answer. There were a thousand words running through his mind, ranging from "oh my god" to "fuck prom let's just go upstairs" to " _oh my fucking god"_

Instead all that came out was "Um."

"Ryan, how nice to see you." His mother placed a hand on his back.

"You too, Mrs. Narvaez. It's been awhile." He smiled broadly. Ryan was really good with parents.

"Too long. Ray, why don't you invite your friends over more?"

He blushed. There were a lot of reasons for that, but none he was prepared to blurt out right before prom.

"I don't know, Mom." He turned and kissed her cheek before she could start again "I'll see you in the morning, ok?"

"What about your things? Your clothes?"

"Uh-" how was he supposed to say he really didn't need them without it sounding like exactly what it was?

"Ray dropped some stuff off the other day so he wouldn't have to worry about it. Remember?" Ryan lied easily. Well, it was only a half lie. He  _did_ have clothes at Geoff's, except they'd been there for months.

"Well alright. Why didn't you just say that?"

"Sorry, Mom." He stepped out, closing the door behind himself in one movement. He was ready to go. He didn't like his mom being too close to any of the group. It made him worry something might slip out. They were halfway to the car when the door opened again.

"Be safe!" 

"Sure thing."

He waved as Ryan tried to help him in. There were  now four people in the backseat, and that was exactly one Puerto Rican more than the number of seatbelts. He ended up half sitting on Ryan's lap, which was fine by the both of them. Geoff was driving, while Jack tried to give him directions. It was mostly Geoff swearing a lot, claiming he didn't "need any of his fucking mapquest bullshit." He knew where he was going. That was followed by "wait, which way am I turning?" At every light.

Michael had an arm around Gavin's shoulders, who was complaining about the leather seats being too slippery. Every so often Geoff would glance back, tell him to shut the fuck up. The seats were great. Michael would giggle loudly, and everyone would tell  _him_ to shut the fuck up.

The entire trip was obnoxious and loud and way too cramped. Ryan had his chin resting on his shoulder when Ray laughed. "Every time we all go somewhere, I'm reminded why I hate going places."

Ryan chuckled. "Nah. I always think about how I love this car."

"I have to sit in your lap so we can all fit."

"Exactly." Ryan's arms slipped around his torso, holding him tight. He couldn't help it.

"Aww, look at Ray blushing!" Gavin announced, and Michael leaned forward, laughing.

"How cute." He teased. "Actually, what the fuck was that at the door? You just like... stared at Ryan for a full minute."

Ryan giggled in his ear, and he was at a loss for words.

"I mean, sure he's hot, but enough to keep is all waiting?" He shrugged. "I don't think so."

"Oh fuck you. Maybe it was the fact that my tie isn't a clip on."

"Shut up!" Michael's ears turned red, and soon the whole car was howling.

Geoff was still wheezing about how "he's about to graduate high school but he still can't tie a goddamn tie!" When they pulled up to the restaurant. Well, fast food joint. The parking lot was empty as dicks. Apparently most people had opted for Olive Garden over Wendy's. Whatever. At least the had the place to themselves.

Which turned out to be a good thing, considering nobody except for Geoff knew what they wanted. Geoff walked right up, ordered his food, then loudly announced (to the displeasure of the poor cashier) "y'all dickheads get whatever. I don't care, it's on Jack."

It was. Since it was the lads' prom, they'd only had to pay for their tickets. Geoff had generously provided his car  _and_ apartment, Jack had agreed to cover food, and Ryan had been the smiling face used to make parents believe they  _weren't_ sending their son out with God knows who. 

It took twenty minutes for everyone to agree on what to get, mostly thanks to the brief argument between Michael and Gavin about getting something healthy. Michael told him to shut up and pick something, Gavin kept asking what was the best option.

Finally, _finally_ at almost ten after eight, they were sitting down and eating. Halfway through, Michael started laughing.

"Jesus Christ, I just realized something. We're a bunch of guys sitting around in black suits. We look like we're going to a fucking funeral."

"Not really. We've got colored ties." Jack said, as if it made sense.

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"People usually wear black ties to funerals."

"So?"

"So you're wearing blue, Gavin's green, Geoff's got pink-"

"Lightish red." He interrupted, inspecting his tie. It'd been the only one he had that wasn't stained.

"Shut up, it's fuckin pink." Jack continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "If anything, I'm the closest because I've got grey, or Ray because-"

"Yeah Jack, I can see colors. Im just saying from the outside it could look like we're going to a funeral."

"But it doesn't."

"But it _could."_

"But it  _doesn't."_

_"But-"_

"Oh God, just shut the fuck up!" Geoff finally hollered, ending the debate. "It's like twenty after, and I told you before I did not spend thirty bucks on this shit just to get turned away."

They swallowed their last few bites and left, and the cashier breathed a sigh of relief.

Back in the car, Jack started giving directions again and Geoff resumed telling him to fuck off. Gavin whispered something in Michael's ear, and the two started giggling like little kids. Ray was back in Ryan's lap, held securely around his waist. Things were finally starting to calm down some, and Ray found himself less nervous, more excited. He was going to prom with the five guys he loved most in the world. How could things get better? 

They found a parking spot easily, which surprised them.  Doors closed in ten minutes, Geoff figured it'd be packed. Well, either somebody had left early, or God was smiling on them. He figured it was the early thing, because he doubted that if God existed, he'd be real thrilled with their little group. 

After presenting their ID's and tickets, they were patted down. That's when Ray started a mantra of 'Don't find Geoff's flask, don't find Geoff's flask' in his head. Luckily, they made it through, and they were  _in._

It was not like the movies. The large room was not full of streamers and lights and couples slow-dancing. The wasn't a big punch bowl that someone had spiked. There were not a hundred tables that surrounded a small dance floor.

Rather, it was still very clear that by day, the room was used for bingo tournaments and quilt auctions no one attended. The room was divided in half, right side dedicated to a mass of tables and a large 'Hollywood' sign. The tables each had a couple of fake Oscars littering them, and if you looked closely there were celebrity place cards. The left side was marked off by a string of lights on the ceiling. It was further divided into quarter by long draped fabric that connected the center with the walls. Just stepping into the room Ray could feel the temperature difference.

The right was cold. There were few people sitting around, talking. Ninety percent of the occupants of the room were on the left, doing what they called dancing. It looked more like a cross between a weird exercise group, and a giant orgy. It caused that side to be significantly hotter, and Ray sidestepped to the right.

It was just so  _bad._

Geoff turned on him. "You motherfucker. This was  _your_ dumbass idea!"

Ray held his hands up in defense "hey, you didn't have to say yes!"

"It's Ryan's fault! He was all concerned about your fucking feelings. 'Oh Geoff, come on'" he mocked "'he wants to go. It's one night' yeah, one night with a bunch of assholes."

"Hey, give him a break. He thought it'd be fun." Ryan defended, slipping an arm around his shoulders. "Besides, you've been here for ten fucking seconds. You don't know what it's gonna be."

"Yeah, go on, defend him like you always fucking do. It's always 'Ray this' or 'Ray that'. What, do you like him better than the rest of us or something?"

"Geoff." Jack said sharply. "Think about where we are."

"I don't give a fuck where we are, I'll fuckin say what I want to!"

"Geoff, calm down." Michael was now jumping in.

"Yeah, who cares if it's a shitty thing? We can still make it fun." Gavin smiled, but Geoff didn't care.

"So now you're all on his side?"

They exchanged glances because, yeah, they kinda were.

"Fine. Fuck you guys. Y'all stay, enjoy your fuckin party.  And you can find your own way home, find your own place to stay. I don't even fucking care." He turned and stomped away, followed quickly by Jack.

"Geoff, hold on."

But at that point they couldn't hear anymore, could only watch as Jack pulled their other boyfriend in the direction of the bathroom. They figured it was best to let Jack handle it. He usually had better luck coaxing Geoff down when he got too angry.

"Im sorry I wanted to come tonight. I just thought-"

"No. Don't even start." Ryan interrupted.

"Yeah Ray, it's not your fault. They sucked you in with the promise of fun. How could you know they lied?"

"Plus I said it'd be top, too!"

"And it still  _can_ be! Guys, the whole point of this that we're here together-"

"Technically, there's a big point that we're  _not_ here together. That we're just friends."

"Michael, you are absolutely not helping right now." Ryan gave him a pained look. "Anyway, the people may suck, and the music may suck and the place may suck, and the idea of  _prom_ may suck, but we don't! We-"

"Again, technically, we  _do_ all suck. I mean this morning Gavin and I-"

 _"Michael._ Shut up."

But Ray was laughing. "Ryan's right. I mean, I'm sorry I dragged you all here, but we can still make the best of it. I didn't mean to piss Geoff off so much though."

"Well to be fair, that's not entirely your fault."

"The fuck does that mean? Geoff's pissed cause he's here. Ray brought him here. Ergo-" Gavin snorted, and Michael shoved him "shut the fuck up, Gavin.  _Ergo,_ Ray pissed him off."

"Yeah, but there's parts of this that you don't know. Parts that I think are bothering him the most."

"Again, what the fuck does that mean?" 

"Guys I really dont think this is the best place-"

"Then we'll sit in a goddamn corner." He pushed through them, grabbing at their arms at the same time. "Gavin!" He snapped, despite the fact that the boy was keeping up easily. He dragged the group to a table in the back corner, kicked out chairs. He shoved them down, pulled his own chair close. "What the fuck, Ryan?"

Ryan took a deep breath. "Fine. If you really have to know." He leaned forward, kept his voice low.

"You have to realize Geoff hated high school. Like he makes jokes about hating Gamestop, and how it's the worst place he's ever been, but they're _jokes._ He'd be the first to tell you that high school was worse. For us it was a lot of judgemental jackasses who made jokes about something they had no clue about. People talked about me, Geoff and Jack. A lot. Even though we were so careful at school. There were assumptions. We denied them, of course, but that doesn't keep people from believing.

"Anyway, Geoff always talked about dropping out. It didn't seem worth it to keep dealing with all of it. But Jack and I convinced him to stick it out, if for no other reason than the three of us graduating together. After that whole thing, he seemed... I don't know, happier. He was a lot better about participating in shit. I'd thought I'd seen him a lot before. After, he was a constant. I don't know what changed, I just know it did.

"It changed him enough that he brought up prom. I remember Jack had some sort of family thing, so he couldn't go anyway. Geoff and I could have though. He asked, said it might be fun. When I reminded him about Jack, he just said that we could still go. It might be good, just the two of us. I just... I kept saying no. I didn't want to go to prom. I didn't  _care_ about it. He  _said_ it was fine. We never really talked about it again. But it's been two years and I know, I just  _know_ that him being so pissed is because back then I said no to to him, but-"

"But yes to me." Ray finished, eyes on the ground. How could he be so stupid? He'd fucked up big this time.

"Plus... I think he's always had this idea that we could have gone and had a great time and maybe high school wouldn't have sucked so bad. Like he knows he can't go back and change it, but he could always pretend. Now he knows what it would have been. Shitty people dancing to shitty music in a shitty community center."

"Ryan, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's not your fault. You didn't know. I didn't even realize how it could have fucked with him." He put a hand on the younger boy's shoulder. "Jack will get him to calm down enough to come back. We'll talk to him, sort it all out. We'll be fine."

"Ryan... I don't know. He seemed really pissed." Michael said softly. Sometimes he forgot that there had been a pre-existing relationship before he got involved. He and Gavin had fallen into it together the summer after the older boys' graduation. Ray got truly involved almost six months later.

"Geoff does this. You know that. He gets super pissed and he stomps around but he always comes back. No matter what."

"What if he doesn't?" Gavin said what they were all thinking. "What happens then?"

"He will. He has to." Ryan said firmly. He didn't want to think about what might happen otherwise.

Thankfully, he didn't have to.

"What the fuck, guys? You couldn't have stayed near the door? You had to come all the way back to a dark corner? I think we're gonna have to go over the meaning of 'play it cool' again."

"Jack." Ryan stood, thinking it might help. "Did he leave?"

"He's in the bathroom. He wanted to go, but I got him to at least say he'd talk to you. Now come on, before he does leave." The group threaded their way around tables, trying not to trip over the large assortment of heels that littered the floor. Apparently no girl within a ten mile radius was wearing shoes. As they walked, Jack scolded Ryan. "By the way, he told me what happened senior year. Thanks for filling me in on that one, you dick."

"Sorry, I didn't think it was gonna come up. I figured, you know, why make everybody more upset by dwelling on it?"

"Yeah, don't make anybody more upset. Sure dodged that bullet."

They reached the bathroom, and Jack held the door while they trooped in, Ryan leading. Geoff turned, ready to scream at that same dickhead who kept coming in- but no, this was an entirely different dickhead.

 Geoff stayed perfectly still, but Ryan didn't break stride. He simply walked up to the other man and hugged him tight.

"Don't you ever think that I love any of them more than you. Do I love them differently? Yeah. More? Never. Two years ago I said no because I was more concerned with what I wanted than what you did. I didn't think a lot about compromise. Add three more boyfriends and I had to learn. That's the difference, ok? Not caring more about Ray than you. That's dumb."

Geoff hadn't moved the whole time. He didn't push him away, but didn't reciprocate the hug either. He just stood still. It was a tense moment, but Ryan wasn't about to let go. He wouldn't until he got some sort of resolution.

Finally, Geoff broke. His arms wrapped around Ryan's waist, head bowing to rest on his shoulder. " I just really love you. And it got to me to think... You know."

"Geoff," he pulled back enough to take his face in his hand and look him in the eye. "Never. You understand me?  _Never."_ Ryan kissed him softly, as if to prove his point.

It lasted until Gavin loud "Awwwww!" caused them to break apart and turn. Just in time to see Michael elbow him in the ribs.

"Shut the fuck up, Gavin."

"Im sorry!" He claimed, though there was no real apology in the way he turned and threw his arms around Michael, pressing their cheeks together. "Im just happy that everybody loves everybody!"

Michael's face pinched, but he couldn't help but smile too. Gavin was such an idiot sometimes.

"Well yeah, Gav. That's kinda the way the whole relationship works." Jack chuckled.

Geoff stepped forward as he met Ray's eyes. "And  _you."_

"Me." Ray said, matching Geoff's steps.

"You're the fuckin reason we're even here."

"I know, I'm sorry. I never would have-"

"Shut up." He said, pulling Ray by the tie and kissing him quickly. It was just enough to prove he was forgiven before he released him.

"Seriously though, Geoff. If I had known-"

"I told you to shut the fuck up. It's not your fault I turned into a pissy ball of stupidity. That's on me."

"So are we all good? Everybodys happy?" Jack asked, hand on the door. "Can this guy I kicked out three times finally go before he pisses his pants?"

Geoff laughed "yes on the first two, possible no on the third. I kinda wanna see that happen."

But Jack opened the door anyway and the guy came running in, casting desperate glances at them all.

"Can I-"

"Yeah, go pee, asshole." He strode forward, and motioned for the guys to follow. "Come on, boys. I believe we've got a crappy pop song to dance to with a bunch of sweaty people."

And they did.

They didn't so much dance as a group as they pretended to be six strangers dancing near each other. It worked, mostly. Every so often Ray would turn the wrong direction, face away from his boyfriends. It wasn't intentional, just something that happened. Everytime it did, however, he'd immediately feel hands on his hips and somebody would rub their crotch against his ass. It was almost always Michael or Ryan, though he caught Geoff once.

At one point he was standing in line for a bottle of water when someone grabbed him. He was led all the way to the bathroom again before his boyfriend spoke.

"I go through all the trouble of calming Geoff down and getting Ryan in here and I basically saved the whole fucking night, but does anybody say thank you? No, of course not."

Ray looked up at him, a smile on his face. "Thank you Jack." He had to stand on his tip toes to kiss him briefly.

"Yeah. I've got a better way you can say it." He raised an eyebrow, and Ray grinned. 

"How did I know I'd end up in here?"

"Please, you _always_ end up blowing somebody. Why not me?"

And he totally would have, if Gavin and Michael hadn't stumbled in at that moment. They tried to explain that hey, privacy would be nice, but Michael just asked them to "kindly get the fuck out."

That incident is what lead to Ray's realization that Geoff's flask  _had_ indeed made it in, and it was currently making the rounds of their group. 

Ryan had apparently spent time with it, since everytime he saw Ray he'd wrap his arms around his waist, try to dance with him. Ray kept telling him to  _stop it someone's gonna see_ but eventually he gave up. He danced with Ryan in the middle of place and neither  one of them gave a fuck. He'd deal with whatever consequences there might be on Monday.

At midnight he drove home, Jack spouting off directions in his ear. Geoff kept telling him to shut the fuck up, but everybody would say the the same to him. Ray needed the instructions. He was still sober, which was more than he could say for the rest of them. They weren't drunk, but whatever Geoff had given them had definitely messed with them.

Still, he found himself laughing when everybody else giggled, just because they were cute when they all laughed. He almost passed out from laughing so much when he parked. He was practically diagonal in the spot. It had to be the crookedest thing he'd ever seen. But that was fine because it meant he got to hear the best thing ever, too. Geoff's wheezing laugh.

It continued while he fumbled with the door. None of them were used to getting to the apartment so late. 

Finally inside, they talked about what they wanted to do with the rest of the night. It wasn't the first time they'd all stayed together, but it was still the lads prom, shouldn't it be special somehow?

No, they decided, because everybody was too fucking tired. Michael didn't even want to get up to change.

"Gavin. Dress me." He ordered, but that went about as well as could be expected. Somehow he managed to get the sleeve of his dress shirt caught in Michael's zipper. Nobody knew quite how it happened.

Eventually he got tired of Gavin's fiddling, and changed himself. They all did.

At some point it became 2 a.m. and they were all just sitting around the living room.

"Guys. Guys. We went to the goddamn prom tonight." Gavin said from his place in Michael's lap. They were sharing they lay-z-boy, as per usual.

"That's what I love about you, Gavin. You're so observant." Jack laughed. He was sitting beside Ray, Geoff curled into his side. Ray was half in Ryan's lap, to the surprise of no one. They all always seemed to have  their places.

"No it's just.. it feels like it was a week ago. Not hours ago."

"Goddamn, dude. Just stop talking."

He did. There was quiet for about fifteen minutes, during which Geoff drifted off, and so did Gavin. The remaining four were just lost in comfortable silence 

Until Ryan broke it.

"Do you guys realize tonight was your prom?"

"Do you realize Gavin already said that?" Ray said, just loud enough to be heard.

"And it was dumb the first time?" Michael's voice came from across the room.

"Seriously. Tonight was your prom. In about a month you've got grad night. Right after that's graduation."

Jack chuckled. "They grow up so fast."

"That's fuckin weird, Jack." Michael again.

"No, you know what I mean. It's gonna go fast. Just wait."

"Stop acting like you've seen the world. You're two years older than us. Besides, we knew you guys then. We went to your fucking graduation ceremony."

"Technically I'm three years older than you, Ray. For like a week."

"Shut up."

"You bring up a good point though." Ryan tried to get them back on track. "Im assuming we're invited to your ceremony?"

"No, we thought we'd let you watch the video. Of course you're fucking coming. Don't be stupid."

"Just checking, Michael."

There's another silence during which they lose Michael and Jack. Again, Ryan is the one to break it.

"Ray? You awake?" It's a whisper, an effort to keep everyone else asleep.

"Yeah." A breath.

"So, how was your prom?"

"I, uh, I won't forget it. That's for sure."

There's a quiet giggle in his ear. "Yeah, definitely. Do you wanna go upstairs?"

It's not even about sex. It's about being alone and being able to talk and not waking up in the morning with stiff necks. But Jack's leg is pressed against his, and he can hear Geoff's quiet snores. Even Michael's breaths are audible if he listens hard enough.

"Nah," he whispered. "I'd rather stay here."

Hands tightened around his waist, an attempt at a hug.  "Yeah. Ok."

"Goodnight, Ryan."

"Goodnight. Love you."

"Love you too."

Laying there, surrounded by the most important people in his life, he has one thought.

_Love you all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I haven't been to Wendy's in like five years. I have no clue what it's like anymore.  
> Also, I can only write based on my prom going experiences. No idea how it works in other states.


	26. Now and Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Ryan used to hate him. Didn't he?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> humanitiesbadhabitrabbits requested a bit about how Gavin thought Ryan hated him. This is mostly my excuse for really adorable Freewood fluff.

"God I love you."

It's a Saturday night. Well, technically it's 3o'clock Sunday morning. They were supposed  to have gone to sleep hours ago. Instead they've been up talking, the subjects ranging from what to have for dinner tomorrow to work to trying that thing in the shower again (Gavin swears he'll get over the cold of the tile.)

To be fair, conversations can be slow going when almost every sentence is interrupted with a kiss here or there, or fingertips trailing down someone's spine ("That  _tickles_ , Ryan!") It's hard resist when you're lying face to face, and your young boyfriend has his leg wrapped around you.

Gavin makes a half-giggle noise, and Ryan has to know.

"You know how sometimes you take something crazy and explain it in a really weird way? But it always kinda makes sense?"

"Uhh, maybe?" He raises an eyebrow, but smiles.

"Then could you explain to me," Ryan's left hand slips under the covers, coming to rest in the small of Gavin's back, "how it's possible for me to love you this much?"

Gavin falls back, laughter pouring from his lips, and Ryan's hand slips to his waist. He laughs too, because part of why he said it was to be funny. The other part, however...

He props himself up on his elbow, just high enough to lean over his boyfriend. "Seriously, tell me. Because it just boggles my mind, and-" he's cut off by Gavin's hands pulling his face down and kissing him hard. He can feel him smiling.

He pulls away. "Is it supposed to be a secret, or-"

"Shut up, you dope!" Gavin's hands  tangle in his hair as he brings his lips down again.

Several minutes pass in a blur of lips and skin and giggles. Ryan is the one to stop because he just  _can't_ again. Good god would he like to, but he can't. 

Gavin rolls into his side and makes a contented noise.

"You know," and Ryan isn't sure where this is going. "Im really glad you don't hate me anymore."

"What?" He doesn't ever remember hating Gavin.

"When we first started working together. You hated me."

The idea is ludicrous. How could he have ever hated him? "No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

It's a really weird conversation to be having while cuddling, yet there  they are.

"I  _absolutely_ did not hate you. I didn't even know you that well."

"You  _absolutely_ did. I think I told Michael about it once." He only half remembers. To be fair, he was very drunk at the time.

" _When?"_ Why is he just now hearing about this?

"Ages ago! Way before you and I got involved, obviously. I think it might actually be recorded somewhere."

"What, like in a video that's been released?"

"Uhh..." He tries to think. When exactly was it? He knows he was drunk. He remembers it being late, and that it was just him and Michael. "A Full Play, maybe?" Yeah, that sounds right.

Without warning, Ryan slides away, out of bed.

"What the bloody fu- Where are you going?" Gavin sits up, watches as his boyfriend leaves the room.

"To get my laptop. I gotta hear this." Ryan calls, voice already coming from halfway down the stairs. Who cares about the neighbors?

"Ry _an!"_ He doesn't understand the man's fascination with something he'd said long ago. Sure, he'd believed it then. But he doesn't now. Isn't that what should matter? That he knows beyond a doubt that Ryan loves him?

And boy does he know. Ryan says it all the damn time. Not in a way that's nauseatingly cute. It's always brief, not a big deal. 'Love you' at the  end of phone calls. 'You're lucky I love you' when Gavin acts dumb, or when he asks Ryan to get him something. 'I love you, but-' when it's something  _really_ stupid. 'Its only cause I love you' when Ryan teases and tortures him.

Clearly the hate is gone.

But it  _was_ there. Gavin believes it, has accepted it. Ryan used to hate him. So what? He doesn't  _now._

Ryan re-enters the bedroom, laptop balanced on his arm. It's lighting up his face in the dark. He sits on the bed, facing away from his boy friend. 

"Why does it matter, Ryan? It's not true now."

"It was never true. Now, you said it was a Full Play?"

Gavin sighs but scoots over until he can rest his chain on Ryan's shoulder. His left hand is on the other. Ryan has the YouTube page open, scrolling through the playlists.

"What game was it?"

"I don't remember, it's been awhile." 

"You know Gav, you should really pay more attention to what content you're in. Honestly."

"Sod off. It doesn't matter as long as I'm funny."

Ryan clicks the State Of Decay video, since part 2 promises Gavin. It has to be it. He tries randomly clicking along, hoping to catch something. It's a lot of Michael yelling about the game and Gavin trying to plug his headphones into alcohol. He keeps skipping. Eventually he'll find it.

_"...trying to talk about Ryan."_

Thirty one minutes in. Finally.

"Come on, why do you even care what I used to think? I  was wrong, ok? You never hated me. You've always secretly loved me. Just stop." Gavin really doesn't ant to hear this. He hates listening to himself, and its even worse listening to the drunk version.

"Hush. Im trying to hear."

There's a bit of arguing about the game, how to get to the character they need to help.

_"Basically, what we've found out is that Ryan treats work like work."_

He laughs. "What the hell does that even mean?"

_"See for me, every Monday I'm always excited to go to work."_

"Well that's just not true anymore. Although that may have more to do with you not wanting to get out of bed."

"Thought you were trying to hear, not give a bloody running commentary."

"Hush."

Again, there's more dealing with the game. It's all Michael talking, because Gavin drunkenly unplugged his headphones. He can still barely be heard giggling in the background.

"How fuckin drunk were you?"

"Uh, drunk. You heard it, I tried to listen to whiskey."

"Good god."

_"Ryan treats work like a Monday. Like he's not excited to see us."_

Michael argued with him, saying Ryan always seemed happy to him. 

"Did you really go to lunch all the time with him?" To be fair, Gavin does still wonder about it from time to time.

"Back then? I can only think of one time. Sort of. I forgot my lunch and went with him to pick something up."

"I knew he was lying!" Gavin shouts, and Ryan leans away.

"Right in my ear. Thanks."

"Sorry, love."

_"Well Ryan already hates me anyway, what have I got to lose?"_

It turns into an argument about the coin debates and that's when Ryan pauses the video.

"You really thought I hated you?" Gavin had said it, but it's so much different hearing it this way. 

"Well... now I know you don't. I love you and you love me and we're  _happy._ Isn't that what matters?" He doesn't want to talk about this anymore. He just wants to go to bed.

"But I never did! The whole 'treating work like a Monday' thing... Yeah, that was pretty much only with you. Because I thought  _you_ didn't really care for  _me."_

_"What?"_

Ryan laughs, because goddamn were they stupid. "I thought you didn't like me. You didn't joke with me like you did the other guys."

"Because I thought it would make you hate me more!"

He turns to face the Brit, smiling sheepishly. "We were really fucking dumb, huh?"

"Oh my God. Yes! So stupid." Gavin laughs.

Ryan closes the laptop, sets it on the dresser. It'll drain the battery, but it's not like he'll really need it. "So. Sleep?"

"God yes. I'm tired as knobs." Gavin moves away, lies in his spot. As soon as Ryan gets his covers situated, the younger man rolls over, head on his chest. Gavin yawns, and Ryan laughs.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"I don't hate you."

Gavin looks up, a smile on his face. "I love you too." He kisses him with a loud "mwah" then let's his head fall back down.

They're both idiots for each think the other hated them, but it's ok. At least they love each other now. And they really, _really_  do.

 


	27. Enabler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rayvin]  
> [Outsider-Michael]  
> [He always thinks they'll talk about it eventually]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically Ray and Gavin have a secret. Michael has to know what it is.  
> This went so far from what I originally planned. I have no idea what the fuck happened.

The first time, he figures they'll talk about it in the morning.

Gavin calls him at two am, says he needs a ride. Michael tells him to fuck off. Three more phone calls, three more angry responses until  _God fucking damnit if you call one more time I'm gonna slit your fucking throat._

Gavin says fine, hangs up. Calls him again because "Hey, at least you're on your way over now."

Michael doesn't change, just jams slippers on his feet and grabs his keys. He tells Lindsay he'll  _be right fucking back, just gotta murder Gavin real quick._

She says ok, rolls over and goes back to sleep. She guesses she'll hear about it in the morning.

He speeds all the way there, blowing who knows how many stop signs. Who gives a shit? Gavin better have a good fucking reason for this. He's got to. Why the fuck else would he call at two in the fucking morning just for a ride? And why wouldn't he just ask Geoff? There's something going on and he'll be damned if it won't all come out.

Except it doesn't. He pulls up to the Ramsey's and Gavin's already outside. The brit gets in quietly, careful not to slam the door.

"Uh, can you take me to Ray's?"

What. The. Fuck. He drove all the way over just so Gavin could go to Ray's apartment? When he could've waited until the morning since they were  _already fucking planning on seeing him for go-karts anyway, you dipshit?_

"I know. But I've gotta go now."

And goddamn if he doesn't want to throw the asshole out of the car. Instead he just asks why the fuck he shouldn't.

"Michael, please. Ray and I... I've just gotta be there."

Fucking fuck. He wants to keep yelling, find out what's so goddamn important that Gavin's got to see Ray at two in the morning. But there's a hint of desperation in that 'please' And he knows it's gotta be something good, otherwise he wouldn't be out there in the first place.

So he pulls away from the curb and heads to Ray's. They spend the car ride in silence, Gavin staring out the window into the blackness, jiggling his leg. Nervous habit. The fuck's he got to be nervous about?

When they get to the apartment building, Gavin says "Thank you, Michael." And gets out, no word of explanation. He sits out front for a moment, half making sure Gavin gets inside, half trying to figure out  _what the fuck._

He figures they'll talk about it in the morning.

-

("What'd he say?"

"Asked me why. Just told him I had to be here."

"He didn't ask anything else?"

"Nah. He's wondering, but not asking."

 Fingertips down his back.

"I guess I didn't- fucking stop it, Gavin, that tickles-"

Laughter. Fingertips turning into a full hand rubbing circles.

"I guess I didn't give him enough credit."

"I told you he'd be fine. But you were all-"

"Don't you even fucking start."

"Oh no, he'll ask too many quest-"

Cut off by lips and quiet laughter.

"I told you to shut up."

"So if I talk, you kiss me? Yeah, that makes me wanna-"

He gets stopped again.)

-

Gavin never fucking mentions it. Not even to say thank you. Sure he said it in the car but it wouldn't hurt to hear it again. Not to mention that would bring the subject up and the constant stream of  _What the fuck_ inside his head could become vocal.

But no. Gavin acts like it never fucking happened. For a brief moment he wonders if he dreamt the whole thing. Then there's this dumb  _look_ that Ray gives Gavin during VS and Michael is reminded that there's something he doesn't know.

In the  next month, Gavin calls him six times. Well, maybe more like twenty times, technically, because for everytime he needed a ride, it's like four phone calls before Michael finally goes.

After the second time, he stops asking questions. They're not getting him anywhere. If he hears the words "I just gotta be there" one more time he might drive the car straight off a cliff.

He just picks Gavin up, drops him off ten minutes later. Always the middle of the fucking night, because when else would this shit have to happen? Gavin always gets in quietly, afraid to close the door too hard. So Geoff obviously doesn't know anything about whatever this is.

And he knows it's really fucking dumb, but everytime it happens, he thinks maybe they'll talk about it in the  morning.

They never do.

-

("So...He's still not asking questions?"

"Christ, Ray. Why are you so damn obsessed with this?"

"Excuse me for not wanting things to get fucked up."

"You're fucked up."

"Can't argue with you there. I mean, I'm fucking my best friend, and its only because my other best friend, who apparently a lot of people want to get with the dude im getting with-"

"Bloody Mavin."

"-drives him here. And of course he has no idea. Pretty fucked up, yeah."

"We could just-"

"For the thousandth time, no. Telling him is out of the question."

"But-"

"Gav, no. It'll only fuck things up.")

-

He gets the next call two days after the last and he thinks he really is going to kill Gavin.

Except no. It's not him. It's Ray. He needs a ride.

_You've got to be fucking kidding me._

But he goes because goddamnit he's going to get answers this time.

"Uh, could you-"

_Gavin's. Of course._ He's already going that way because where else would he need to go? Gavin's got his secrets with Ray, and now Ray's got them with him and  _just for the love of fuck Ray what's going on?_

He and Vav are working through some stuff together. It's not a big deal.

It's big enough to warrant Gavin sneaking out. Big enough that it's a goddamn secret. Big enough to keep bringing Michael into but only just enough that it confuses the hell out of him. Clearly it's a huge fucking thing  _so just what the fuck is it?_

"I... we'll talk tomorrow, ok?"

No it's not fucking ok he wants to know now. But he doesn't say that. Instead he says fine because hey at least he's finally gonna find out what this whole goddamn thing is about.

-

("I told him we'd talk tomorrow."

"What?"

"I thought you said he wasn't asking questions.

"He wasn't! He just drove me to your place and never actually said anything."

"And you thought that meant everything was ok?"

"I kinda hoped."

"You're such a dumbass."

A smile on his face.)

-

Ray is a huge asshole and he hates him immensely. He said they'd talk. Except it's hard to talk in private when the cocksucker is always making sure someone is in the room. They never get a moment alone, and its Ray's fault.

He's torn. Part of him wants to drag the  fucker out of the room, make him talk. The other part is just so fucking tired of it all. Maybe he doesn't want to know what this stupid thing is. He's tired of stressing over it and worrying and trying so damn hard. It's too much. Let them have their secrets and their whatever the fuck it is. Why should he care anymore?

So he won't. He won't care and he won't ask questions and he won't think about it anymore.

He's the first one to go get lunch, because there's no reason to stick around. He's in the kitchen, eating a rare packed-meal. He figured he'd have to hang around the mystery twins, so he hadn't wanted to leave. But he's decided not to care so it doesn't really matter. After a few minutes he's joined by Jack and Geoff. He tries to ignore the fact registering in his mind. Ray and Gavin are alone. He could talk to them now.

-

(Arms around his shoulders.

"Ray."

"What can I do for you, Gav?"

Lips on his neck.

"We're alone, Ray. Everybody's at lunch."

"No. Absolutely not. We're at work."

"They're gone. Come on, X-Ray. Tend to your Vav."

Giggles that send vibrations into his chest. Swallow hard.

"Yeah, they're at lunch."

"Exactly. So we could-"

"Join them, great idea."

Spinning the chair until he's facing Gavin, ready to stand. But no. Gavin on him, straddling him.)

-

He won't get up. He won't walk the twenty steps to the office. He won't barge in and demand an answer. He'll stay sitting at the table pretending to listen to Jack. He won't get up.

Ok, maybe he won't barge in. He won't demand answers. He won't even speak. But he could sit in there, make them uncomfortable. Make them wonder how long it'll be until he opens his mouth, asks questions they don't want to answer. He doesn't have to ask them though. Just make them think he might.

Yes, he can do that.

-

("Gavin, get the fuck off me. This chair is not gonna support both of us."

"We both weigh like twenty pounds. We'll be fine."

Gavin hands in his hair and lips on his neck and crotch pressed against his own and  _oh fuck._

"Not if you keep leaning-"

Falling backwards in a mess of flailing limbs and screeching.)

-

Michael stands, unapologetically turning and walking away even though Jack is still mid-sentence. He doesn't care because he's about to go make those other fuckers miserable. They deserve it. They've done the same to him for a month and a half.

He pauses at the door. What if he shouldn't? What if they just start answering what he stopped asking? What if they don't even care?

-

("Gavin you asshole I told you"

Half laying on the back to the chair, but his legs are still in the air. Gavin above him, weight on him. His leg fucking hurting.

"Well we're down here already."

Gavin's lips trying for his, but goddamnit his leg.

"Get off, come on. My leg-"

"But Ray-"

"Get  _off."_

Shoving him away because hey, he tried to tell him. Gavin hitting the floor beneath Ray's desk with a thud.

"I was just trying to-"

"Yeah, I know exactly what you were trying to do."

Wriggling up, pushing the chair down with his feet. Rolling onto Gavin because everybody  _is_ out to lunch.

_"Now_ I'll do it too.")

-

His hand is hovering just above the doorknob. It's dumb not to go in. He still wants to know what's going on. But he considers turning tail because technically things are working. It's weird and awkward as fuck to know you're on the outside of someone's secrets,especially if you're the one driving the keepers around. But it's still not entirely fucked up.

Learning whatever the secret is could do that. If it did, how bad would it get? Losing his friends? Maybe his job depending on how bad it affected him. Then losing other friends because without the job the connection is gone.

Fuck it, he has to know.

-

(Gavin's skin hot under his finger tips. Lips hard against his own.

" _Gavin."_

The door opening and Michael screaming and oh shit this wasn't supposed to happen.)

-

Michael keeps screaming because Jesus fucking christ he was absolutely never meant to see that. To see Ray and Gavin on the floor trying to suck each others goddamn faces off.

_Oh my fucking god_ because that's when the realization hits. This is the secret. This is why he kept driving Gavin to Ray's in the middle of the night. This is the reason behind all the little looks and the giggles. It all makes  _sense_ now.

Except wait. The secret is that they're fucking. Goddamnit he drove Gavin there. He's like their enabler or some shit.

He doesn't think he'll ever sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's getting completely fucked by trying to juggle school and work and life and fic and sleep?  
> If you guessed this girl right here, congratulations. You won a fuckin pony. Please call 1-800-I-Fucked-Up to claim your prize.  
> Seriously though, a month of this and I'm so burnt out.  
> Please expect a sudden influx of angst and sadness paired with only the tiniest hint of fluff.  
> Or just really fucking weird shit. Much like this fic tonight.


	28. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Non-pairing]  
> [Kid/family AU]  
> [Ryan's a great big brother]

"Don't forget, Michael's gonna want to play some of your games, but he's not allowed. Watch him, make sure he doesn't sneak up there. He'll use Ray as a distraction, so you gotta keep an eye out for that. Gavin still likes to sleep with that stuffed monkey, even though he claims he doesn't. If there's a fire, get the lads and get out, call 911, then-"

"Call you. I know. I know all of this, Geoff. We're gonna be fine."

Since the lads had come along, Geoff and Jack had spent exactly one night away from them. That had only happened because Ryan's fever had skyrocketed and the hospital was the best place for him to be. They'd spent the night with him, and had called Burnie to stay with the other kids. It was an extreme case.

In five years, they had never gone away overnight just because. Mostly it was due to Geoffs over-protective nature. Rather than constantly worrying, he figured it was easier just to stay with them.

Until Jack surprised him with reservations to a bed and breakfast. He'd protested the idea from the beginning, but Jack insisted they needed a weekend away. He grew more resistant when he found out Burnie wouldn't be staying, just Ryan. The oldest boy was nearing sixteen, surely he could care for his brothers for one weekend. 

It had taken an hour of debate, three phone calls to make sure Burnie or Matt would be available  _just in case,_ and the whispered reminder that they could drink in Colorado, before Geoff was finally convinced. Fine, they'd go. But if anything happened...

It wouldn't, Jack assured him.

The plan was to leave the house by four on Friday, and return around eight on Sunday. Except it was 4:13 and Geoff was still nervously pacing by the front door, listing concerns.

"I know you know, Ryan. Im just reminding you. If you have a problem, call Burnie. If he doesn't answer, call Matt. If-"

"Call you. I know. If it starts raining, call you. If somebody gets sick, call you. If the phones stop working, _call you._ I get it." Ryan said from his place at the base of the stairs. He was tired of the hour long lecture.

"Ryan." Jack reprimanded gently. He was leaning against the banister, listening intently.

Geoff was not so nice. "Now is not the time to be a smartass." He said sharply. "I don't particularly  _like_ the idea of leaving you alone with the lads, and having an attitude is not helping."

"Im sorry, Geoff." He said, standing a placing a hand on his father's shoulder. "But I'm almost sixteen and I can handle this. We'll be  _fine."_

Geoff studied him carefully, still looking for an excuse to cancel. Pulling him into a tight hug, he whispered quietly, "I just don't want anything to go wrong."

"We'll be  _fine."_ He whispered again.

"Don't worry, Geoff." Jack said, stepping forward. "I never would have suggested this if I didn't think he was ready."

"I know." He released Ryan and exhaled loudly. Knowing didn't make it any easier. "Boys!" He called. The lads were in the living room, most likely throwing legos at each other. "Ryan, remember, if Gavin wants to talk to me, make sure you call." There was approximately a 99% chance he would. Gavin was very attached to Geoff, and didn't like being away from him for too long. It made  him nervous. The other lads were pretty good though.

Jack knelt down to meet the boys as they came running in. Michael crashed into him first, tugging Gavin along with him.  Ray  quickly snuggled against his chest. "Alright, me and Geoff are about to leave, so it's just gonna be you guys and Ryan."

"You do that all the time." Michael said, as if it weren't worth interrupting his play time.

"Well this time they're going overnight."Ryan said, leaning against the wall.

"Overnight?" Gavin sidestepped away, looking up at Geoff. "You're not gonna be here to tuck us in?" 

"Oh, buddy." Geoff picked the boy up gently, holding him close. "It's like we told you. We're gonna be gone for a couple days. But whenever you wanna talk to me" he pressed his forehead against Gavin's, trying to make sure he understood "you tell Ryan, and he'll call me. Whenever you want, ok?"

Gavin nodded, but still held on tightly. "Im gonna miss you."

It was all he could do not to say never mind, they weren't going. But he had to be strong. "Im gonna miss you too, buddy." He kissed the top of the boy's head and did his best not to give in. "But you know, we'll be back before you know it. And I'm sure you'll have a ton of fun with Ryan."

The older boy stepped forward and put a hand on his back. "Yeah, Gav. We'll play with legos and I'll teach you to play a couple of my games and it'll be great. I promise."

Gavin still looked dubious. He was clearly not a fan of this whole situation.

"Come here," Ryan said, gently extricating him from Geoffs grasp. He held him so he could look the boy in the eye. "Have I ever lied to you?" Gavin shook his head. "Right. So you know this is true. Jack and Geoff are gonna have a lot of fun. We're gonna have a lot of fun. They're going to come home safe. It's all gonna be fine. Ok?"

"Ok." But Gavin still buried his face in Ryan's neck. "Im gonna miss them." He said, voice muffled.

Ryan's eyes met Geoff's. "Yeah, so am I."

"Hey, I want a hug too." Ryan turned to find Jack, arms outstretched, waiting for Gavin. He passed him over, watched a Jack hugger him tightly.

A hand on his shoulder pulled his attention away, and Geoff hugged him. "You're a good kid, Ryan."

"Yeah well, you're the one who raised me."

Without another word, Geoff broke the hug in favor of kneeling to hug the other lads. "Alright boys, me and Jack really oughta get going."

"Glad you're finally figuring that one out." Jack laughed, setting Gavin on his feet. He hugged Ryan quickly, paired with a gentle "be good" in his ear.

"Of course."

With that, they finally got themselves out the door. Ryan and the boys were alone. 

 


	29. Protector

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin]  
> [Established AHOT6]  
> [Some people are born to be protectors; some need protecting]

In the grand scheme of life, Gavin is not the most independent. He relies greatly on others to take him from place to place, to remind him of appointments. There's always someone to hold his hand and carry him. He usually falls asleep curled  _up_ to one of his boyfriends, rather than  _around_ them. He is always the little spoon.

Whether it happens for them or him, well, does it really matter? 

Maybe it's a mix. Maybe what he needs is to be what who they want him to. If they need to have someone to take care of, then so be it. If they need to feel like they're protecting this happy ball of energy, then fine. That's who he'll be. If they need to consider themselves stronger and more dominate then yeah, he'll be weak and submissive. He'll be what they need, because that's what he wants. To be needed.

But Ray doesn't. Ray gets a lot of shit from a lot of people. They don't like what he said, or implied, or the way he cut his fucking hair. There's always a problem. He never does anything right. 

He doesn't talk about it because why would he? He swallows it all because what the fuck else is there to do? He could apologize a thousand times and it would never be enough. There are people who will always hate him, no matter what he does or says. It's just a fact. What good comes from talking about it?

He can deal with it on his own. He doesnt need anybody.

But sometimes... sometimes he does. And he could talk to anybody, knock on anybody's door.

"Gavin?"

He's alone, a rarity. There's always someone who's already claimed him, pulled him into their room to hold and pretend to protect.

"Ray? What's up?" He sits up, a smiling into the dark. He doesn't need to ask, but he does. He knows why Ray is there.

"I, um, I just...fuck. I dont know. I'm sorry." He's always so sure of his words. Never so flustered.

"Nah, you're fine. C'mon then." Gavin lifts the comforter, a clear invitation. The smile never leaves his face. Grateful for his understanding, Ray slides in, rolls straight into his chest. Gavin holds him tight, chin on his head. This isn't the first time they've done this.

"They're saying-"

"Shhh." It's not going to help to agonize over the specifics. It won't change the words.

"They just hate me so much." Ray's breathing is ragged, and Gavin knows he's trying not to cry.

"Hey, I love you. You're my little X-Ray."

"Nobody else seems to."

"Bollocks." He pulls back enough to look down, make sure the younger man understands. "You've got five guys who would kill for you. Not to mention the rest of the company. I'd say you're pretty damn loved."

"You'd kill for me?"

"In a heartbeat."

Ray chuckles. "That's probably the last heartbeat of the guy you're murdering, huh?"

"Yeah, probably." Gavin says, laughter around his words.

"Thanks for risking, you know, prison and deportation for me." Jokes are what he's best at. Feelings and shit? Not so much.

"You're worth it."

They don't say anything else. They simply drift off to sleep, each lost in their own thoughts.

Gavin thinks about how much he loves protecting Ray.

Ray thinks about how much he loves being protected.


	30. The Other Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Ft. Scarred Geoff]  
> [Denying the truth only lasts so long]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think if Geoff knew me in real life, he'd kill me for all the shit I put him through. At least it's funny.

At some point he was able to forget about the notes. Not entirely, of course. Occasionally, something would remind him. He'd walk into the kitchen to get a drink, only to find them huddled close together, whispering and smiling. As soon as Ryan spotted him, he'd lean away. Gavin would turn, see Geoff, then roll his eyes. He really needed to get over it.

It would freak him out for a moment, then he'd go back to that all-important mantra.

_Ryan and Gavin don't have sex. Ryan and Gavin don't have sex._

Or they'd be in the  office filming something or other. Geoff would happen to look up just in time to catch them  giggling at each other. Ryan would wink, and Geoff would consider throwing up.

_Ryan and Gavin don't have sex._

He was learning to deal. Denial was a beautiful thing. But it's hard to deny something you see with your own eyes.

He'd been having a fairly good week. They'd gotten a shit ton of recording done, everything had gone off without a hitch, and he hadn't even thought about Gavin and Ryan.

And then.

He heard the voices before he opened the door.  _He should have thought about it more._

"Gavin, I told you, not at-"

"Oh come off it, Ryan. It'll be fine. It'll be  _good."_

What would be good?

"Well can I at least keep- Gavin, _no._ I need that. What if Geoff-"

"Please, he's not gonna care."

No, he refused to be talked about behind his back. He opened the door...

And instantly regretted it.

_What the fuck?_

"What the fuck! No!" Geoff turned, shielding his eyes from the sight before him. Not that it mattered, because the image was burned into his retinas anyway.

Both of the them on the couch, shirtless. Gavin straddling Ryan, skin flushed. Ryan's hand on his waist. Ryan's other hand on... of for fucks sake, yeah, that was Gavin's dick. Gavin's fingers tangled in Ryan's hair, holding their lips together.

What. The. Fuck.

"Oh, Christ, Geoff!" Gavin scrambled off his boyfriend, trying his best to cover his vital area. Ryan was up too, reaching for shirts that had been tossed over Jack's chair.

"We are  _so_ sorry. We were just-"

"I can guess exactly what the fuck you were doing!" This was probably the worst day of his life. He'd thought the notes were bad. At least then it was all in his mind. Plus he could pretend it wasn't real, that it had been a joke. He had been fine believing that lie.

_Ryan and Gavin have sex._

There was no denying it now. He had  _seen_ it with his own eyes. Sure, he was blind now, but he hadn't been when he saw it. He wished he had been.

"Geoff, we can explain." Ryan had his shirt on now, though Gavin was still struggling with his.

"Yeah, we didn't-"

"I don't want to hear it. I need a drink. A lot of drinks."

He left, slamming the door behind himself. There was not enough alcohol in the world.


	31. You and me and him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Mavin, Raychael, Rayvin]  
> [It's not their fucking fault. It's Michael's]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I'm a terrible human being. And so is Michael. But everybody knew that anyway.

It doesn't make much sense, this thing that they do. It's not a relationship. God knows it's not even close. Because would it stop at one? Or two or three or four or is the last the all encompassing one? It could be said that for each it's only two because never are they three.

It's Gavin and Michael.

Rough hands and harsh words paired with soft kisses and apologies. It isn't hard to guess who each belongs to. Michael  yanking Gavin away from whatever he's doing under the guise of _I don't want to go get lunch alone_. Fingers never intertwined with his, like they're equals. Rather, Michael gripping his wrist so tight he feels like a scolded child.

He doesn't pull back because he's good at learning from his mistakes. It's to be expected; one can only be reminded  _What a piece of shit_ they are and how  _you think this is something you're really gonna say no to_ before one breaks down. Tears are not welcome in Michael's presence. So Gavin lets himself get dragged along.

It's blowing Michael in the Taco Bell parking lot because  _did you really think I was lying about lunch? Just because I wanna get off doesn't mean I don't also wanna eat._ It's two minutes in the bathroom deciding if he's pathetic enough to be that turned on. It's another four after realizing yes, he's that fucking sad.

It's getting back to the office with a goddamn smile on his face even though he swears he hates himself. It's being unable to keep from laughing when he hears Michael giggle because even though he hates Michael too, how could he really? It's a glance at Ray, swallowing hard and looking away. It's feeling guilty even though it was never  his fucking fault to begin with.

It's Michael and Ray.

It's silence and bruising fingers paired with a lot of fucking jokes and awkward laughs. It isn't hard to guess who each belongs to. It's Michael sitting outside Ray's building, texting him  _are you coming or what?_ Waiting just long enough for him to close the car door before speeding off into the night. It's Ray's texted reply, even though he's in the passenger seat  _not yet but im sure i will be soon._ Like it's funny.

He doesn't try to make Michael laugh because he's good at learning from his mistakes. It's to be expected, really. One can only be met with silence or  _just shut the fuck up you're not here to be funny_ a few dozen times before they realize it's not worth doing for his sake. Michael focuses on single moods; laughter does not go with sex. So Ray only makes the jokes for himself.

It's getting fucked by Michael until his back stings and itches because man, carpet burns fucking hurt. Floor because  _the leather makes weird noises and it sticks and I don't fuckin feel like changing the sheets._ Its not pointing out that it's amazing how never once in six months has he ever wanted to change the sheets. It's pretending not to notice how items in the linen closet do change, even though Michael claims to be too lazy.

It's walking home with a shit-eating grin on his face even though he knows he shouldn't let this keep happening. It's falling asleep at night praying to whatever deity who'll listen that he might actually fall asleep in Michael's bed one night. It's Gavin's face flashing in his mind, then taking back everything he wished for. It's feeling guilty even though it was never his fucking fault to begin with.

It's Ray and Gavin.

It's gentle hands and soft lips paired with confessions and whispered  _I'm sorry'_ s. Not even they know where one ends and the other begins. It's Ray at Gavin's door, a small smile and  _could you use a little company?_ Rolling his eyes at the quoted song and pulling Ray in by the hand. It's Gavin's laughter against his lips, despite trying to get the words  _that's not even that funny_ out of his mouth.

They don't intend to aim for the bedroom but yet they always find themselves there. It's to be expected, really. They can only be denied that comfort via  _I don't want to change the sheets_ and  _fuck that the car is fine_ so many times before needing it. They don't think about the bed they'd both prefer. Instead they pretend they only want each other.

It's pumping hands and hard kisses because for once there's a mutual interest in getting each other off. It's a sticky mess and giggles of _we should shower. You know, together, to save water_ and  _if we go together it's gonna be another mess._ Its both of them being right and both of them loving it. It's both of them admitting to at least one of the facts. 

It's tumbling back into bed together, giggling like goddamn idiots even though they're not sure what exactly is so funny. It's Ray's head on Gavin's chest, falling asleep to the sound of the other breathing. It's waking up two hours later to the sound of a phone ringing. It's being told  _I'm gonna come get you_ by the voice on the other end.

It's Gavin actually saying no because for once in this entire fucking thing he's happy, and he'll be damned if that's going to get fucked up by a 2 a.m. drunken phone call.

It's a soft kiss and a quiet  _thank you._

It's not feeling guilty because this was all Michael's fucking fault to begin with.

It's always two. Never three.


	32. but you're a terrible liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin, Mavin, Raychael]  
> [Second best second best second best]  
> [Not quite good enough]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to me being horrible again.  
> Ch 31 is technically part 1 of this but it doesn't really matter.

"So." Ray takes a deep breath like he always does before he's going to say something important. "Question."

"Answer." Gavin leans forward, gives him a peck on the lips. "Maybe."

"Like, this is really fucked up, right?" The words come out in a huff, and he holds the emptiness for a beat. He doesn't need to elaborate. 

Gavin exhales loudly, substituting for laughter. "Yes," he agrees, nodding his head. "It's very fucked up."

They're lying so close together a hundred other people could fit in the bed. Ray is running his fingertips up and down Gavin's spine, as if it's a normal thing to do to your best friend. Or the guy you're fucking who's also fucking the other guy you're fucking. Yeah, normal.

Ray inhales sharply, in need of oxygen. "Just checking. I'm a little new at all this."

This time Gavin does laugh. "It's been over six months, Ray. I don't think that qualifies as new."

"Well, I mean, in the context of my life."

Gavin snorts. "True. In that case, you're like a baby lamb, just learning-"

"Oh shut up."

"You're the one who-"

But Ray cuts him off, pushing him down and rolling on top. His fingers tangle in the Brit's hair as he kisses him, open and inviting. Gavin is eager to accept, he can feel it on his thigh. There's a brief second where he thinks about cutting off, just going to sleep. Then Gavin practically counts his teeth with his tongue in one motion, and he thinks  _fuck that._ He rolls his hips down into Gavin's, only to be met with bucking and a sharp gasp at the contact.

"You know, for someone who claims to be so new, you're pretty fucking good at it."

"Yeah well, it's only because-" there's buzzing, and  _because it's you_ dies in his throat. There can be only one reason someone's phone is going off.

Ray rolls back to his side of the bed, near the phones. They're both on the nightstand, but only one is shifting slightly. He picks it up, checking to see whose it is, although he really doesn't have to.

"It's you." He says, handing the phone over. Of course it's fucking Gavin. It's always Gavin.

"Hello? No, I'm not home right now. Uh," he glances over at Ray, as if looking for approval. Ray doesn't move, just stays lying down, waiting for the inevitable "I'm just out. Look, tonight's not-" there's a pause, and Ray can guess at what's being said.

_You really think you're gonna say no tonight?_

"I'm in the middle of-"

_I don't fuckin care. Just tell me where you are. I'm coming to pick you up._

Gavin sits up, turns his back on Ray. As if it gives him some sort of privacy. "In the morning I promise-" and Ray has to keep from laughing out loud because since when do promises mean shit around here? "I-ok, fine. I'll be on King street." It's two blocks over. Like he'll never figure it out.

He will, but he won't care. As long as he gets what he wants, who gives a shit what they do in their free time.

Gavin sets the phone on the bed, swings his legs to the side. Of course he fucking said yes. Of course he's gonna leave. Of course he'll be left alone because Ray is not the priority. He never is.

"Ray, I'm sorry, but-" Gavin won't look at him. He just stares straight at the wall.

"No. You gotta do what you gotta do."

"But-"

"Go. I'm fine."

Finally Gavin turns. "You're not... hurt?"

He forces a laugh, but he doesn't lie. What's the point? "Eh, a little hurt's good for the soul." Or maybe that's love. Except the lines are so fucking blurred on that one he thinks they might be the same thing.

"Ray."

"Just fucking go, Gavin." His voice betrays his irritation. It's enough to make Gavin realize it's best to just shut the fuck up. 

Maybe that's not best. Maybe the best thing to do would be to call Michael back, tell him to fuck off. Lay back down, promise not to leave again. Go back to kissing and giggling and being fucking happy for two seconds. 

But he doesn't say another word, pulling on his shirt and walking out. What's he supposed to say?

Ray hears the front door slam and it occurs to him that he should probably get up and go lock it. He doesn't. He figures he'll take his chances. Who cares anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also shout out to prom for being able to ruin my fucking life and make me fucking miserable even though I graduated and shouldn't have to deal with its bullshit anymore.  
> Also shout out to the shitty things 'friends' do.  
> And to me being way too over attached even though I should know better because of course she'd fucking pick him over me.  
> And to the fact that this is my way of venting about my stupid shitty life.


	33. sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [AHOT6]  
> [Ray's sick and his boyfriends take care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked you:  
> hello! so, i see that you take fic requests, and i am currently srsly miserable right now because i have pinkeye. do you think you could write a short ahot6 fic one of the guys (preferably one of the lads) coming down with something and everybody taking care of them? <3 <3

Ray wasn't used to being the center of attention. Usually that was Michael, bringing focus on himself. Not in an egotistical way; no, not at all. He was simply loud and boisterous, discontent with not actively participating in conversations.

However, for the past hour, he'd been unusually quiet. Everyone had been, really.

"I'm not dying, you guys." He wants this to be funny, but the fact that his voice comes out in a hoarse whisper did little to help the joke.

"You're in the fucking hospital, Ray." Geoff says, shifting in his chair.

"Yeah." Ryan agrees. He's sitting at the foot of the bed, a hand on Ray's knee. "You don't usually end up here because you're super healthy.

"I'm fine." He claims, though the coughing fit that follows isn't very convincing.

Gently, Jack places a hand on his shoulder. "Ray." He looks up at the bearded man through blood-shot eyes, and Jack swallows hard. He really hates this. 

"A hundred and fucking seven is not 'fine'" Michael finally pipes up from by the door. Hes staring at the fake plant in the corner.

"Wasn't." Ray croaks, attempting to correct him. "It broke."

"Are you ninety eight six? No? Then shut the fuck up, you're not fine." Geoff won't have him passing this off. It's serious.

"They're letting me out." Why does he keep talking? It only results in more coughing, plus it all hurts.

"With the understanding that you've got five guys watching your every move." Jack points out.

"Hot."

"Ray, I swear to God if this whatever you've got doesn't kill you, I will. It's not fuckin funny."

"Michael, don't yell at him. He's sick." Gavin leans against the wall next to the door. He jumps when it opens and a nurse enters, wheel chair in tow.

"I hear we've got somebody leaving us." She says, and Michael rolls his eyes. Yeah, that's a great way to put it.

With a great deal of help from Ryan, Ray gets set in the chair. God, his whole body aches. The fever caused the dehydration, which caused the cramps. The coughing and throwing up overworked a lot of his chest and abdominal muscles, so those are sore too. His throat is on fire and his head aches. He's a mess, basically.

Geoff's the one to push him out to the parking lot, followed by the other four. They must look like an odd group.

They take two cars home, Jack, Geoff and Ray in one, Ryan and the remaining lads in the other. Jack drives, Geoff opting to sit in the back with death-warmed-over, as he so eloquently put it. It's put of love, of course. Jokes are better than acting as worried as he really is.

Jack actually carries him inside because everything just fucking  _hurts._ They set him up on the couch with blankets and pillows and everything he could ever need.

Gavin makes him soup that's surprisingly good. He was expecting the broth to have been boiled off, or the noodles to be mush, but no. It's decent chicken noodle soup. (Who knew he could cook?)

Ryan brings him a thousand glasses of water, even though he's said he's not thirsty. He gets told that he has to stay hydrated, but would he rather drink ginger-ale? He says yes and Ryan starts bringing a hundred cups of that instead. (Who knew he was so insistent about fluids?)

Jack keeps asking how he's feeling, is he doing any better? He says nothing's changed everytime. Then he reminds Jack that he's gonna be fine, and the older man always responds with a sigh. Then he tells dumb jokes to make him laugh. (Who knew he worried so much?)

Michael rants about video games because he knows Ray loves to hear it. He sits on the floor beside the couch with a laptop on his knees, playing shitty indie games. He dies a thousand times and he complains about how fucking  _unfair_ it is. (Who knew he could rage quietly?)

Geoff constantly checks his temperature via a hand on his cheek, then sliding to his forehead. Ray wonders if an actual thermometer would be more accurate, and he gets told to shut up. It's ok because he likes this way better. (Who knew he was that good at checking for fevers?)

They all sleep in the living room, although all of the healthy men claim they'll go to bed at some point. They don't. Gavin and Michael share the lay-z-boy, and Geoff and Jack pretend that with the footrests up, the love seat totally functions as a makeshift bed. Ryan sleeps at the end of the couch, Ray's feet in his lap.

They wake up in the morning with stiff necks and very little actual rest. Except for Ray. He slept pretty good, all things considered. He sounds worlds better, which is saying something, considering he still sounds like death itself is speaking.

Sleeping in the living room sucked, but it was worth it to be with Ray. Just in case in case he needed them.

(Who knew they loved him so much?)

(Well, anyone of them could have told him that.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't fuckin know what he's got. The sick.  
> He's got five adorable boyfriends, lets focus on that.  
> Also sosososo sorry this is late. I fell asleep last night while working on it. Im just so goddamn tired lately.  
> ALSO: Shout out to all of you lovely people who said kind things and basically just love and support me. You guys are tremendously awesome.


	34. stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [AHOT6]  
> [The stars look so beautiful]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolute pure fluff. Just the boys being cute.

"Don't get me wrong, outside still scares the shit out of me."

"But?" Ryan prompts, arm tightening around the younger man's shoulders.

"But this is really fucking nice."

Geoff laughs in his ear, and Ray squeezes his hand.

"Exactly what I was going for."

As cliché as it sounds, they're lying under the stars. It's almost one in the morning, and clear as dicks. It's perfect. They're in the backyard, a few blankets beneath them ("Jack, if I get bit by a bunch of shit, I swear to fucking god I will kill you." "We'll put blankets down, Geoff. I promise it'll be fine.")

Ryan has Ray tucked under one arm, Gavin under the other. Michael is lying sideways, head on Gavin's stomach. Geoff is on Rays other side, their hands woven together. He's using Jack's arm as a pillow, and the rest of him as a heater.

"It is pretty top."

"It's like... I feel really small, but at the same time I feel big. It's weird." Michael says, prompting Jack to lift his head and glance down the row at him.

"Are you high?"

Laughter breaks out, amongst which Ray shouts a brief "JU BL!"

"No I'm not high, I just meant-" Michael starts indignantly, but his head is bobbing up and down thanks to his boyfriend laughing. "Gavin! Stop fucking moving!" He reaches up and tries to hit him on the chest, though he's slightly disoriented by the directionality. He ends up bonking Gavin in the chin, which is met in the usual fashion.

"Mi-cool, no!" He squirms, trying to avoid being hit.

From the other end of the group, Jack mocks him " _Mi-coo!"_

"Hey! Can't you motherfuckers calm down for five goddamn minutes?" Geoff hollers, exasperated. One fucking night without them trying to kill each other. That's all he wants. Just one night.

"But Gavin was-"

"I don't wanna hear it! Just sit and look at the beautiful fuckin stars!"

The two lads sigh, but reply in unison. "Sorry, Geoff." They fall silent, along with the rest of the group. They just stare up and listen to each other breathe. It's comforting.

All he asked for was five minutes. All he gets is two.

"You guys are welcome, by the way. We wouldn't be out here if it wasn't for me."

"The fuck d'you mean, Jack? This was my idea."

"Ryan, the blankets were your idea. The 'let's sit under the stars' thing was mine."

"No no no, you said we needed something different to do. I said star-gazing."

"Yeah, but I said let's just lay under them. Which is what we're doing."

They continue the argument even over Geoff's loud sigh of annoyance. It prompts Michael and Gavin to start back up again, and within a few moments it's just Ray and Geoff holding hands amongst a bunch of bickering idiots.

"Hey, Ray." Geoff whispers loudly, trying to make sure everyone can hear.

"Yeah?" He stage-whispers back, catching on quick.

"Our boyfriends are morons."

"Oh, I know."

"Shut up, Geoff." Michael joins the pretend whispering. "You know you love this." He says, back to his normal voice.

"Seriously. I mean, we'll stop if you really want-"

"Speak for yourself,Ryan."

"No, it's fine." Geoff leans over and kisses Ray on the cheek before squeezing his hand once and letting go. "Y'all go ahead and kill each other." He half-shifts, half-rolls so he's facing Jack and wraps an arm around his torso. His head slips to his chest, and he closes his eyes. "I don't even care."

Jack chuckles, and the noise reverberates in his chest. "So you don't mind if I keep arguing with Ryan?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Thought so."

Ray flips to mirror Geoff's position, but with Ryan. He arches his back slightly, just enough that he presses up against Geoff. He responds with a similar pressure.

Gavin slips his hand down to rest on Michael's stomach, and he reacts by reaching up and intertwining their hands.

It's unusual for them to have a moment like this, happy and quiet and so full of love. Ray has to take advantage of it.

"Not to get all mushy and shit, but uh, I really love you guys. Just sayin."

"Aww, love you too, X-Ray."

Michael reaches up with the hand not holding Gavin's. He gropes along Ryan's chest for a moment, searching, before Ryan helps him out. His fingers meet the Puerto Rican's head, patting him much like you would a dog. Ray grins.

"Love you, asshole."

"I love your asshole too, Ray." Geoff says, and the smile in his voice can be heard miles away.

"That's nice. I love you all too." 

A moment passes, and it occurs to him only one person has not said it back.

"What about you?"

"What?"

"Don't you love me?"

"Shut up. Of course I love you."

Ray pokes him in chest. "Wouldn't kill you to say it once in awhile." He's only pretending to be hurt. Honestly Ryan probably says it the most.

"If a meteor struck me right now, you'd be sorry for that one."

"I'd be dead too, so no I wouldn't."

"At least then you'd be quiet."

"Sorry, Geoff."

They lapse into silence again, each lost in their own thoughts. Ray can't speak for them, but he's thinking about how there's no place he'd rather be, nothing he'd rather be doing. Yes, the sex is fucking awesome (doesn't even matter who or how many because it's all  _good_ ) and yes cracking jokes and bickering is fun. But this, lying under the stars and just enjoying being _together._ That's what he loves the most.

That is what's perfect.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a great deal of the third part of the Michael/Gavin/Ray triangle written. I was going to post that and rip everybody's heart out, but I decided to be nice.  
> It's like a reverse April fool's.  
> Also shout out to me for falling asleep like an asshole for the second night in a row.  
> Fuck.


	35. caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin focus]  
> [Established AHOT6]  
> [Gavin always gets caught at work]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically Gavin likes to fool around at work, but they always say no because they always get caught.

"Gavin, we've been through this a thousand times. Not at work."

"But Ry- _an!"_ It's always a whine when he's not getting his way.

" _No."_ It's not even just Ryan saying no. It's the whole office. They all know that if Ryan gives in, Gavin won't want to even go somewhere private. He'll argue that they can just fool around on the couch. They're all dating, what's the difference? Of course the other guys wont care. Ryan will give in to that idea too, (and so will the others because hey, it's a little like free porn. Weird, awkward porn, sure, but still.) Then somebody [poor innocent Lindsay] will walk in, and things will be super weird for weeks.

"Not a chance, Gav." Geoff reiterates, turning around in his chair. "Remember that time Burnie walked in on you and me? It was the same time I shoved you off the chair" he leans back and makes the motion "and you almost broke your arm. Because you're an idiot."

"Well that-"

"Or what about when Kara found us on the podcast couch?" Michael turns too, a smile on his face. "She got so pissed she told Gus not to let you on for like two months."

"Wait that's why-"

"Or the time you and I were on that couch" Jack points "or at least I was. You were on the floor. Kerry came in and freaked the fuck out. You got all weird, knocked the table over, and almost broke Ryan's Xbox."

"But-"

" _Or_ the last time you and I fooled around here. We were in the studio, in my chair-"

"Yes I know-"

"-and Lindsay came running in. She screamed, you panicked, tried to get up but tripped over your pants, fell and almost gave yourself a concussion. Then you-"

" _I'm aware of the damn story, Ryan. Shut up."_

Everybody's laughing because they hadn't heard the full version. Gavin had originally said "some things happened" and that's why he had to be woken up every four hours.

"I hate all of you." He announces, storming out. He's not seriously angry, just a bit miffed that they think the whole thing is so funny. 

"Goddamn. I think his goal is to get everyone at this company to see his dick." Michael giggles, turning back to his video. He'd been editing Rage Quit.

"He's an idiot alright." Geoff turns to his computer, still grinning. He loved the kid to death though. He only glances back when Ray stands. "Where the fuck're you going?"

"I mean, Gavin's an idiot, but I'd like to think he's an idiot who's gonna bring red bull."

"Yes! Go make sure that happens."

Ray leaves, but red bull is the last thing on his mind. There's only one thing he wants right now. He finds Gavin in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and sulking.

"Have they stopped-" but Ray cuts him off, a hand on the back of his neck paired with a hard kiss. There's a beat during which Gavin freezes, then pulls back. "What the hell, Ray?" It's not that he's opposed, just slightly confused.

"How come we don't have a story?" Ray's hand is still on his neck.

"What?"

"All the other guys. You've got stories of how you got caught with them."

"You want to get caught?"

"We've  _never_ fooled around at work. How come them and not me?"

Gavin laughs, sidestepping so he's out of Ray's grasp. "So, you want to get caught fooling around at work? Are you crazy?"

"Five minutes ago you were ready to fuck Ryan. Now you're not in the mood? What gives?"

"I didn't say all that. If you wanna, I'm absolutely willing." He grins, backing up.

"And yet you're still moving away from me."

Gavin rolls his eyes, reaches out and takes Ray's hand. "Well come on then. Doesn't count if we're out in the middle of the bloody kitchen. It's gotta be somewhere sorta private." Gavin pulls him along, since he has no idea where the fuck Gavin has in mind. "You're sure, Ray? You realize Miles or Kerry or somebody's gonna see your knob, right?"

"Nah, just yours. Im keepin' mine in my pants."

"The hell you are."

Ray only realizes where they're going when they stumble into the podcast room. It's empty. Ohhh.

"Really, Gavin? I feel like this tainted by the thing with Michael. Can't I be special?" He's joking, of course. If he was opposed to having sex with Gavin anywhere Gavin had sex with someone else, well, they probably never would have done it in the first place.

"Oh sod off." He pushes Ray into the beanbag, which sounds great until his spine bends back at a funny angle.

"I think the couch-" but Gavin's on him, knees digging into the bag, making the beans squeak. Lips against his, rough and urgent.  _This was a great fucking idea._

Except.

The door bangs open, and a voice calls out "Hey, what are you two-" there's a pause, and something clatters to the floor. "Oh fuck no. I don't wanna see this. You guys are supposed to keep it in the Achievement Hunter office."

Gavin scrambles off of his boyfriend, falling back and almost hitting his head on the table. Ray tries not to laugh.

"Sorry, Gus."

"Is this why you came in here?" He bends down to pick up the clipboard, a disgusted look on his face.

"Uh, well." Ray isn't going to lie. Not out of obligation or anything, just because it's fun to see this all play out. "It was Gavin's idea."

"Ray!"

"Goddamnit Gavin, keep it in your pants. Burnie told me about you and Geoff, Kara told me about you and Michael. How the fuck do you get work done?"

"He doesn't." Ray laughs, hoisting himself out of the beanbag chair. It comes with much stumbling, and stepping on Gavin's hand once. His wince of pain is hard to distinguish between the cries of indignation. "Did Kerry tell you about him and Jack? Or Lindsay's story of him and Ryan? We thought he had a concussion because of that one."

"Jesus Christ. He's like an animal." It's made all the more funny by the fact that Gavin is still on the floor.

"I am not!" He says, attempting to stand. "Excuse me for liking my boyfriends!"

"There's a difference between 'liking' and apparently pouncing on them every chance you get."

"Come on, Gavin." Ray says, taking his hand. The whole point was to embarrass him, and judging by the red flush in his cheeks, he was successful. "I promised the guys red bull."

Gavin lets himself get pulled away, back toward the kitchen. "You did this on purpose. It wasn't about the story, you just wanted to embarrass me!"

"Please, that's just a nice side effect."

"Ray."

"Ok, maybe it's fifty-fifty."

" _Ray."_

"fine, seventy-thirty. But that's as high as I''ll go."

They re-enter the office, doling out energy drinks. Nobody mentions their absence, not even to question why they were gone so long. They chalk it up to some dumb conversation. Probably Gavin talking about how all the times he got caught were totally not his fault. Except they were.

It lasts until Gus sticks his head in. 

"Hey, assholes. Friendly reminder to keep your shit in here. Fully support you and all that friendly crap, yeah. Doesn't mean I wanna see it. That means you, Gavin."

And then everybody's cracking up, trying to find out what happened this time. Ray tells the story, though he leaves out most of his part. Basically all he says is that Gavin pulled him to the podcast room.

Which Gavin points out "you're forgetting the part about you begging for a story."

"Well nobody wants to hear that part. That's boring. That's not you almost bashing your head in again."

Gavin shakes his head, but smiles. "Thanks, Ray."

"Always got your back."

Yeah, right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when these were around four or five hundred words?  
> Ah, good times.  
> Also hey this came out during the night! I posted before falling asleep. Woohoo!


	36. because we both know who you'd choose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin, Raychael, Mavin]  
> [in which somebody's got to choose, because its too damn hard]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The third installment of the Ray/Gavin/Michael love triangle.  
> Could be the end, but there's always room for a follow up. If you guys want, of course.

" _Gavin."_

The name is hardly a whisper on his lips. It's only there because it's the only thing in his mind that doesn't sound completely pathetic. He wants to ask if he's sure, but that gives him an out. If he takes it... he doesn't want to say it would destroy because that sounds incredibly fucking stupid.

But god, it would.

"He- I- It's too hard. It's just too goddamn hard. I can't anymore. I  _can't."_

They're squashed into his recliner, holding each other tight. The back of his t-shirt is balled up in Gavin’s fingers, and if it mattered he'd complain. But nothing matters except Gavin is here in his arms, and no one else's.

He isn't sure when lust and loneliness turned to love. He doesn't know when love became synonymous with Gavin, either. He just knows that when he’s with _Gavin_ he’s happy, and he wants _Gavin_ to fall asleep in his bed at night and he just really wants _Gavin_ for always.

At first it terrified him. Gavin was so goddamn in love with Michael. How many times had they been together, sleeping or making out or just sitting around playing dumb games and laughing, acting like best friends. And then Michael would call and he was out the door. Michael says jump, Gavin gives it a running start and asks how high.

He always fucking fell though. Ray always picked him up. It was a vicious, never ending cycle. Michael would call on Gavin. Gavin would get hurt. He’d call on ray. Ray would get hurt. Michael would call on Ray, and Ray would get fucked again. It was terrible, really.

Ray never left Gavin, though. Both desperately in love with someone who only wanted them for his pleasure, they found a comfort in each other. One they knew they could get no other way. Michael would sure as hell never offer it.

And somewhere along the line, Ray found himself looking forwad to the comfort calls than he did the rough sex calls. (Who was he kidding? That’s all it had ever been. There were not feelings for Michael.)

He still answered those calls though. Maybe Michael had no investment, but he still did. He still wanted the calls, even if he wanted Gavin’s more.

Except Michael stopped calling.

It stemmed from a night that Gavin left. Michael had called, said he was going to pick him up. They agreed to meet two blocks over. Gavin’s idea, an attempt to keep Michael from discovering his and ray’s outside relationship. As if he’d care. He slammed the door before he left, but it wasn’t locked. Evidenced by the fact that it opened ten minutes later.

“Ray! Was Gavin here?”

 _Fuck off._ It was his first thought, and he didn’t even think about apologizing for it. He just emerged from the bedroom to find Michael at the top of the stairs, keys still in hand. He tried to control his anger. _It was all Michael’s fucking fault._

“Maybe. Why?” He shouldn’t have been so pissed off. Or at least, he shouldn’t have let it come out.

“Maybe? What the fuck?” He shook his head. “Whatever. Do you know where he is?”

“Meeting you on King Street, last I heard.” Why pretend?

“Clearly he’s not.” Michael rolled his eyes.

“Then how the fuck should I know. You called, he went running. That’s all I got.” He shrugged. He was so far past this shit.

“You seem like you got a problem too, like it fuckin bothers you or something. Or am I crazy?” Of course he wasn’t. They both knew it.

Why bother?

“You ever think maybe he’s got a life outside of every one of your fuckin phone calls? That maybe I do to?”

Michael laughed out loud. “Like I give a fuck about either one of your lives. I just care that when I _do_ call, one of you picks up.”

“You seem to call an awful lot for someone who doesn’t care about us.” Might as well go all out.

“What the fuck does that mean?” but he doesn’t need to ask. Ray was trying to imply that he _cared._ Maybe he cared more than he let on. Maybe there was a reason he always called them and not a hundred other people that he could have. Ray was sorely mistaken.

“God _damnit._ ” He didn’t need to answer a question that hadn’t needed to be asked. “He deserves so much better than you.”

“He doesn’t want better.” Of course he didn’t deny it. Of course Gavin deserved better than Michael. He deserved someone who loved him the way he loved everyone. With everything he had, and a little extra, too. He deserved someone he could fucking talk to, rather than someone who only wanted what mattered to them. He deserved someone who cared. “He wants _me.”_

Ray could be that. For fuck’s sake, he _was_ that. Everything was just too fucked up to see things clearly.

“But hey, if you think he deserves so much better, why don’t you go ahead and be that. Save him from the mean old asshole.” He smirked. It was a half-joke, not meant to be funny.

It’s at that point Ray decided _fuck it._

“Who says I’m not already?”

Michael’s smile faltered for just a second. Just enough to make Ray wonder if he wasn’t right after all. “Oh, so you’re fucking him too? Good for you, Ray. Somebody oughta care about getting you off. I don’t, but somebody should.”

And godddamnit if he doesn’t hate Michael. It was so blistering hot it made his stomach turn, made his hands shake.  He wanted nothing more than to punch him in the fucking face.

But the front door opened again, (Why didn’t he lock it?)  and a voice called out. “Ray, Ray! He didn’t show.” Footsteps on the stairs “So I’m back, if…” he trailed off, finally seeing the two men. “Oh.”

“There you are.” Michael turned toward him, taking a step forward. “Where the fuck were you?”

“On King Street.” He didn’t look at Michael. Rather, he stared over his shoulder, eyes meeting Ray’s.

“No you fuckin weren’t. I was just there.”

“I didn’t see-“

“Whatever, I don’t care. Let’s just go.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Don’t think I’m welcome anymore.”

 _Damn fuckin right you’re not._ But Ray didn’t say that. He just swallowed hard, wished this whole thing wasn’t so fucked up. He crossed his arms and stared down at his shoes as Michael pulled Gavin down the stairs. He waited for the door to close again. Waited to be alone.

It didn’t happen.

Instead, he heard Gavin’s voice.

“Michael, I don’t-“

“You don’t what?” He always has to be intimidating because he knew Gavin always gave in.

“Can’t we just… in the morning we’ll get breakfast. We’ll do whatever you want then.”

“I’ve got you now. Why the fuck would I wait until morning?”

“Michael please. I need to… Ray and I…”

“What, you want to stay with Ray?”

“Michael.”

“You wanna stay with him so bad? _Fine._ Fuckin stay. Guess I just won’t be calling either one of you anymore.”

_Good. Fuck off._

“I didn’t say that! Why can’t-“

“No, Gavin, either you come with me, or you stay here. _Pick.”_

“Michael-“

“ _Pick._ Make a fucking decision.”

Silence. He doesn’t want to hope.

A whisper. Barely even heard from all the way at the top of the stairs.

“ _I’m sorry.”_

“Fuck you!” The door slammed, and then it was quiet.

Ray paused, debating what to do. He could go down there, hug Gavin, tell him bullshit about how everything will be fine. He could go down, tell him yeah, it’s all fucked up. Or he could stay at the top of the stairs thinking about every scenario unfolding, and meanwhile Gavin won’t know what the fuck is going on.

He picks the first because sometimes it’s nice to believe bullshit for a while. His steps are almost silent as he approaches Gavin, who’s standing in front of the door, shaking. He doesn’t say anything as he pulls him into the living room, deposits him in the chair. He squishes himself beside him, even though the recliner was dumb to begin with. They don’t fit well, and it’s uncomfortable but it’s the first place he thought of. Probably because it’s the first place he was sitting when Gavin broke down and kissed him the first time.

_Six fucking months._

“I know, Gav. It’s been too hard for a long time.”

“I don’t want it to stop. But I don’t want you to…Ray, I just need…” he sniffs, and he knows that within a few minutes they’re going to be two grown men crying in a lay-z-boy chair.

“I know.” He’s not sure what else to say. There’s a thousand emotions running through him and very little of them make sense.

 _“No.”_ And they’re both surprised by the forcefulness of it. “I have to say it. Or say something. I don’t know. I just...”

“You pick me. I get it.”

“I have to. It’s always you, Ray.”

Happiness is definitely one thing that’s there. Nausea, too, but a good kind.

He laughs nervously. “Always will be. X-Ray and Vav. Til the end.”

“Not this end.”

Anger, too. Fucking Michael and his fucking using them and fucking the whole thing up.

“’Course not. This is a beginning.”

“Yeah. It is.”

_He’s got Gavin._

No more Michael, no more bullshit, no more leaving, no more shoving everything down to avoid fucking it all up. Just him and Gavin, dealing with whatever new shit comes along. Whatever Michael will do about the whole situation. Whatever happens when it all comes out (because of course it will at some point.) Whatever insecurities and issues crop up. Together.

_He’s got Gavin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was a good mix of rip your heart out and still make you feel a bit better. That's always the goal, at least.  
> Also: WHAT, Katie posting during the day? What is this madness?  
> Pshh, don't get used to it. My nocturnal habits resume tomorrow.


	37. we should do this more often

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [They're both pretty handsy when they're drunk. Also thank god Geoff has a terrible drunken memory]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apology fluff for the triangle?  
> Basically.  
> Also may be part of something longer. We'll see.

 

Drunk Gavin is great. Yeah, he's an obnoxiously loud pain in the ass, but when isn't he? Gavin laughs a lot when he's bevved up. It's tiny things that might be funny, though dumb, that set him off the most. Barb makes one pun and he collapses. An insult from Michael? He'll blow your fucking eardrums out if you're in the same room. He laughs and giggles and basically makes weird noises (accompanied by gestures that look vaguely seal-like) until he can barely breathe.

He has very little filter. Words pop straight into his mind then out of his mouth, no regard to how they affect people. He can out-swear even Michael.

Geoff throws, as he puts it, a "Millie's at her grandmother's house for the weekend let's all get fucking stupid" party. Gavin goes because he lives there and he's always up for getting fucking stupid. Ryan comes because  _hey why not_ plus it'll be a treat to see the British man get seriously drunk. He finds it funny.

Ninety percent of the party is just Rooster Teeth employees, plus a couple of Geoff's old friends. For the most part everybody's milling about outside, talking and drinking. The lads are inside on the couch, attempting to play Mario Kart. Ray's winning by a landslide, mostly because he's the only one still sober. Michael's hollering about it being unfair, and Gavin's just giggling away.

He leaves the group when he gets yelled at to "fuck off if you're not gonna fucking help me prove that Ray's a fucking cheater." He finds Ryan in the dining room, studying photos on the wall.

"Oi, Ryan! The fuck're you doin' in here?" His words are slurred, and he's swaying.

"Just, you know. I don't come here a lot." It's true. It'd been over a year since the last time. 

"You're bloody fuckin' right you don't! That shit's gotta change." He takes wobbly steps forward, clasps Ryan's shoulder tightly to steady himself.

"Christ, Gavin. How drunk _are_ you?"

He opens his mouth to respond, but doesn't actually say anything. He simply stares at Ryan, as if he's searching for the right thing to say. After a minute, Ryan raises an eyebrow. At this point he doesn't even need an answer because it's clear that he's-

" _Very."_ Gavin says seriously, then bursts into giggles. He starts to stumble backwards, but Ryan catches him easily, hand slipping to his waist.

"Careful." He murmurs, looking down at the younger man. These are dangerous waters, he knows, even worse when his judgement is skewed.

" _Ryan."_ Gavin giggles, and he feels as as if he's missing the joke.

"Hmm?" He hasn't let go, and Gavin has shifted closer so that it's his wrist on Ryan's shoulder.

Gavin opens his mouth again, but still doesn't say anything. There's a moment where they're both just staring at one another, waiting. 

Ryan breaks the silence. "How drunk are you?" He asks again.

This time there is no pause, no searching for words. They're clear in his mind one second then slurred from his lips the next. "How drunk do I need to be?"

As it turns out, exactly that amount. For a second all he thinks is  _holy shit Ryan's kissing me_ but he doesn't react. He just stands there, more still than he's ever been.

And all Ryan is thinking is _oh fuck fuck fuck_ but then Gavin's hand slips up his neck into his hair, pulling him closer. He thinks maybe he's glad he came to this thing, and boy does he need to come to the Ramsey's more often. 

Just as Gavin's tongue runs along his bottom lip, the younger man pushes away, stumbles backwards.

Ryan doesn't catch him this time.

"You just kissed me." Gavin announces, as if this is news. He looks shocked and confused, and Ryan would be lying if he said that didn't hurt him a little. But he plays it off because that's what Ryan always  _does._

"Yeah, I did." He's got a small smile because maybe he can pretend its a joke.

"You've never done that before." Gavin is just watching him, maybe looking for answer as to why. But Ryan's good at this.

"No, I haven't."

A beat passes in which Ryan swallows, Gavin grins, and the world gets just a little better.

"Well you oughta fuckin' do it again!"

"I-"

But Gavin does it for him.

Somewhere in his mind he's aware of the picture frames digging into his back. He thinks briefly of how weird that is, since the frames contain pictures of the Ramsey family, smiling and happy. Especially considering they can no longer be seen, hidden behind two grown men who appear to be in a contest where the winner is the first one to actually swallow the other's face.

At least, that's what it looks like to Geoff.

" _What the fuck?"_  

To say they 'broke apart' would be inaccurate. Rather, Gavin spins in place, in turn giving Ryan a face full of hair. His back is pressed against Ryan's chest, and he has to lean to see around the Brit.

"Hey, Geoff. What's up?" He's grinning ear to ear, trying desperately not to laugh. This shouldn't be funny, but alcohol will do that to you.

"What the  _fuck?"_ He repeats, beer clutched firmly in his hand. For a second Ryan worries he might break it, but then he remembers this isn't his house.

"We could say it's not what it looks like, but would you really believe us?" Gavin asks, a slight giggle in his voice.

"Not now I wouldn't."

"Whoops."

"Seriously though, what the fuck? Since when are you two a...like a..."  He gestures around, motioning his hands together, as if to indicate an floating object. "Like a thing?"

"Since we're not." Gavin says, and maybe it makes sense in his mind.

"Yeah Geoff. People do dumb things when they're drunk." He slips a hand around Gavin, coming to rest on his stomach. He's a lot more drunk than he thought he was. "Technically you're the one who got us drunk. This is your fault."

Gavin spins again, and now Ryan's hand is on his back. "Wait, just drunken... What?"

"Relax, it's not like I've done you." He grins. "Yet."

Gavin laughs, starts to pull him down again.

"Oh fuck no, I don't want to see this shit." He puts a hand out and turns his head, as if to shield himself.

Ryan leans to the side, and Gavin whines. "Then you might want to look away." Ryan says, still grinning.

He's just about to kiss Gavin again when he gets pushed to the side, and they half trip over each other.

"You two do whatever the fuck you want, just not against pictures of my family." Geoffs pulling frames off the wall, struggling to do so while still holding his beer. Funny the things you focus on.

"Hey, I'm in some of those pictures!" Gavin says indignantly, turning and wrapping an arm around Ryan's shoulders for support. "It doesn't bother me."

"So am I! Fuckin bothers me! I don't want you two getting it on that close to my face."

"But you are ok with your dining room?"

Geoff pauses for a second, as if he's actually considering it. "Fuckin- no!"

"Is your bedroom open, or..." Ryan's joking. He isn't that dumb. Drunkenly making out is one thing. Any farther is a whole different line, one that is certainly not going to be crossed tonight.

"Fuck off."

"Ryan! C'mon, let's go play Mario Kart." Gavin grabs his hand and pulls him toward the living room. He goes along because it should be fun to see Gavin and Michael get their asses kicked. He knows Ray has been winning by a landslide all night. "Guys!" Gavin yells as they near the lads. "Ryan's gonna play with us!"

There's only one spot open, next to Michael, and Gavin pushes him down. He then proceeds to sit on him, grabbing his controller in the process. For a second Michael, is confused, but he passes it off as drunken shenanigans.

"Gavin, there's only enough controllers for three people. Besides, the screens gonna be too tiny."

"Then he'll fuckin watch for now! I'll have a go then he can have mine."

Ray is the one to notice the wide smiles on their faces, the way Gavin suddenly seems so  _comfortable_ with Ryan. He notices Ryan's hand on his waist, how Gavin leans back against them and neither one has an issue with the contact. He sees Ryan's eyes constantly flicking from the screen to Gavin's face, then back again. All he thinks is  _I'm pretty sure you guys only want to play with each other_ but he doesn't say it. Now isn't the time.

"Doesn't matter who plays, I'll kick the shit out of any of you."

He's true to his word. Of course, it's only because he's the only sober one, but still. He places first every time, and the best anyone else does is fourth. It's Ryan, naturally. He's the least intoxicated, but still too much to win.

Once Michael stops screaming about how "he's got to be fucking cheating because nobody's that fucking good" Ray hands his controller over to Ryan so they might have a fair chance against each other. Michael wins by placing fifth, which is a testament to how badly the other two sucked.

Ray thinks it's because they're distracted, but he still doesn't say it. Instead he laughs. "We really need to do this more often."

 _Yeah,_ Ryan thinks, slipping his hand from Gavin's waist to a more firm hold that's reads a lot like a prolonged hug.  _I could definitely do this again._


	38. fuck them and their shitty jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin]  
> [Gavin is upset at the assumptions people make, Ray sets him straight]  
> [In a very non-straight way, of course]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody says shit about my friends and gets away with it.  
> Even if these are friends I've only spoken with a few times. Even if my retaliation is venting through writing.  
> People are assholes.  
> Not you guys. You guys are awesome.

Sometimes it's hard being the butt of every joke. Sure, Gavin brings it on himself most of the time. He makes up words a lot, which everyone finds to be silly yet hilarious. He doesn't try very hard at the games they play, which often comes off as him not being good. He could be, if he wanted to. He could easily win a vast majority of the Minecraft Let's plays, if he chose to. Instead he usually decides comedy makes a better video. He doesn't always get American references, which usually reads as him being stupid. He's ok with all of this, with the way the audience perceives him.

Doesn't mean it doesn't get old.

The constant stream of 'oh wow Gav is such an idiot' wears on him from time to time. He  _isn't_ an idiot. He's actually pretty smart. He's smart enough to be doing something he loves with people he loves rather than going to some dead-end job everyday and hating everybody. But yeah, he's the moron.

Sometimes he talks to Michael about it. He mentions how tiring it is to constantly be put into the 'dumb guy' trope. Of all people, Michael should understand. The same thing happens to him, with his anger. 'He rage quits, he must be angry all the time.' He's not, of course. But his temper  _is_ short and maybe he fits his character a little better. He tells Gavin not to worry about what a few assholes think. It doesn't help.

Other times he talks to Ray. He doesn't deal with it as much, or at least not as seriously. Sure, there's always a lot of jokes about cakes and roses (did he hear about the minecraft update? He's going to freak out! Haha. Shut up.) There's also the weed thing. Because of course being teased about getting high could never get old. Oh, something in your life related to 420? Of course he'll want to hear about it! Sure.

Regardless, Ray is more sympathetic. When they're in bed at night, he reminds Gavin that just because people believe something, it doesn't make it true.

"I know, Ray. It just gets pretty fucking annoying when there are literally hundreds of thousands of people who just think your some big dumb idiot face." (That's the other  thing people latch onto: Gavin swearing. As if he's a child whose virgin ears can't even hear the words. A grown man? Swearing? Nonsense!)

"People don't seriously think that. They know you're smart." Ray hates that he genuinely believes these people. Everyone wants to believe they're so original, an  it often results in a lot of overlap. It's to be expected coming from such a diverse audience. No one can be sure a joke hasn't been made, and they can't be sure it has. So they tell it to be on the safe side. Which is fine, but difficult when it comes to stuff like this.

"Yeah, they do."

"Gav-"

"I know that's how I come off. I suck at a lot of the games we play. I mean, I've won minecraft three times. That's it. I say a lot of weird things. I know. And I know  I'm not really that dumb and a lot of its for the audience, but still. It'd be nice if it wasn't such a big deal when I got a reference to some shitty tv show."

Ray rubs circles into his back. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, not your fault."

"Well, I do make jokes, and-"

"Not enough to be sorry for." Gavin half smiles, trying to reassure him.

"If it helps, I love you. And I don't think you're a big dumb idiot face."

Gavin chuckles, leaning forward to kiss his boyfriend gently. He pulls away slight, but touches their foreheads together. "Yeah, it does."

"Hey, I know what could do it." Ray pulls back to look Gavin in the eye, trying to keep a straight face.

"Hmm?"

" _We_ could do it." Ray grins.

This time Gavin's smile is wide and genuine. "You always know just how to cheer me up." The latest jokes get lost in a flurry of lips and hands and clothing falling to the floor.

Sure, sometimes the world is a shitty place. Sometimes people take things too far.  But he's got Ray, and Ray can get him through anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wasn't trying to be super harsh. This is a lot of me venting about things that irritate me. Whoops.


	39. I'd say you're a liar but then again so am I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Just admit you love each other and get it over with]  
> [Or be dumb idiots whatever]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even fuckin know anymore.

He's afraid to break the silence of the room. To do so could cause his whole world to go into a tailspin. Silence is better because then any misconceptions can be blamed on  _well how was I supposed to know_ rather than speaking the wrong words. 

Gavin is a vibrating box of  _who the fuck knows._ Is it love or lust or somewhere in the middle? Is he in the same boat, avoiding dipping an oar in for fear of disturbing the waters? Are his jokes just... jokes? Meant for laughs alone and nothing more? Or is he always that responsive he's drunk? Had Ryan been anyone else, would he have reacted the same?

There's a thousand more questions he needs answers to, but he can't get them in silence. So he has to be the first one to bring it up.

"Hey, Gavin?"

They're alone in the office. It's rare, but more likely to happen when Ray keeps asking everybody to go places with him. Ryan isn't sure what that means.

"Yeah?"

The fuck was he going to say? He doesn't know. He hadn't gotten this far.  _yes we need to talk. Oh shit that means words._

 _"_ So, uh, Geoff's party was fun."

A pause. Two, three.

"Yeah. Woke up hungover as all hell. But..."

But Ryan knows this. He was there.

(By two, the party dispersed, most people saying they should get home. They called cabs or walked. Michael basically made Ray pay for his fare, though it was a shared cab.

"If you've got room for one more, I need a ride too. I'll split it with you." 

But one look at Gavin's pout told Ray it wasn't a good idea.

"Not really. Besides, you never come here. Make it last as long as it can." Of course he means so much more, but it flies over their heads. Very perceptive drunks, really.

The boys leave, and its just Ryan and Gavin. Who knows where Geoff is. He doesn't turn up in any of the hours the stay up talking, giggling about stupid shit and the occasional kiss. Gavin was still in his lap, and they acted like it was normal.

"We should go to bed." 

"Five am does not usually a bed time make, Gav."

"Did you just have a stroke?"

But they laughed. Ryan didn't question when he got half dragged through the backyard to Gavin's annex. He said nothing when he was subsequently pulled into the bedroom, then pushed to the bed. He only stopped when Gavin started kissing him again.

"I don't think... tonight, uh, it'd be the best idea to, uh-"

"Nah. Course not." He kissed him once more and snuggled into his chest. "Night, Ryan."

He could have asked questions then, but why the fuck would he? So he went to sleep instead.)

"Yeah." He clears his throat. "Uh, speaking of... that. About what happened. I mean, what you and I, uh-"

"Never happened?"

"What?" He says in surprise. He doesn't know what he he thought would be said, but that sure isn't it.

"Just assuming that's why you brought it up. To say you were drunk and all that. It's not a big deal. So was I."

"I- I wasn't-"

"Weren't what?"

But that's when the door opens, and Ray steps in. "Hey, if you guys are hungry, Burnie brought..." He trails off, feeling the tension. It helps that Ryan still looks bewildered, and Gavin seems vaguely pissed off. "Am I interrupting a moment?" He asks, half joking. It's what they do, after all. Make jokes.

"Apparently not." Ryan says shortly. He should have kept to silence.

"Is this about whatever happened with you guys the other night?" It's got to be.

"Wait, what do you know about it?" Ryan questions, vaguely concerned. He knows Geoff knew, but Ray too? How fucking drunk was he?

"I'm not an idiot, Ryan. I see things." 

"What things?" 

"Are you really gonna make me... fine, ok, I'll be that asshole in the movies that sets everybody straight. I'll give a little speech, I guess." But he'll do so from the comfort of his own chair. He sits, spins to face them, and leans forward.

"I see a lot of things. The way you guys look at each other when the other can't see it. You both smile like morons. The thousand and one jokes you make about being together. Sure, everybody does it- well, technically we joke about doing it." He laughs daily, trying to break up the tension. "But the two of you... It's believable in a way we aren't. Ryan, you pick on him and tease him like a kid in elementary school. I'm pretty sure if he had pigtails you'd have pulled them on day one. Gavin, you egg him on. You  _want_ him to mess with you.

"And the other night? You both went into that dining room lookin vaguely pissed off, like there was something bothering you. Ten minutes later you walk out with shit eating grins on your faces and you're holding hands. Or Gavin was pulling you, whatever. Same difference. Then later I saw all the pictures on the table. I asked Geoff, and he said 'nobodys doing it that close to my face.' Which is a totally normal thing to say, sure.

"Do I even have to get into the couch thing? Gavin, you _sat on him._ Ryan, you let him do it. Kept watching him, too. Plus you had a hand on his hip and the whole thing was pretty gay, guys. It's not usually something two straight guys who aren't pretty much in love with each other do."

There's a silence, and Ray just wishes they'd get it over with. Because of course it'll happen eventually. It'll all come out, and so will they, and everybody will tease them but actually be really happy for them. And someday they'll tell he story of how they got together, and this way they'll have  to say that I all came down to Ray. Isn't he great?

"C'mon, you guys gonna admit you're in love with each other or what? I pretty much did it for you, you just gotta agree." Silence, in which they both stare at the same spot on the floor. Of course. "Or you could continue to be idiots. Whatever." He stands, brushing imaginary dust off his pants. "Im gonna go get lunch." He's done his part. Plus he's hungry. 

He leaves, and Gavin and Ryan are back to that tense quiet.

"Um."

Ryan swallows. "Yeah."

"Wait, yeah what? 'Yeah, this is awkward' or 'Yeah, what Ray said'?"

"I- uh, awkward? Both? I don't fucking know, Gavin. I don't."

He laughs. "I don't either! I've never... You know?"

"Yeah."

Silence for a beat, two, three.

"He's not wrong." Fuck it, might as well go for it.

"No he's not." Only now does Gavin look at him, a smile on his face.

"So you-"

"Yeah."

"And we-"

"I don't know, Gav. We'll figure it out, just not at work. But whatever  we decide, we don't tell Ray." He grins, trying to lighten the mood. He can only deal with feelings and shit for so long.

"Oh god no. He'd never let us forget it."

But they should really check the doors before say it things like that. Ray pushes past Gavin, gently kicking his foot on the way.

"You guys are assholes."

But he's smiling because  _thank fucking god._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fell asleep like an asshole. I hate my job.


	40. words left unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Mavin]  
> [You won't call him. You refuse. He made his fucking decision and you don't even care anyway]  
> [2nd POV Michael]  
> [Michael-centric]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im a mean motherfucker.  
> In which this is a part of part 4 to the triangle.

It's 3 a.m. You should be asleep. 

You should not be sitting on your couch, locking and unlocking your phone. Every time the screen lights up you read his name, and you wonder if it would be such a terrible idea to call. You think it might not be. Wasn't he supposed to be in love with you? Since when do feelings just disappear?

(They certainly don't  _appear_ over night. Except for you, right? At least, that's what you tell yourself.)

Lock. Unlock.

_Gavin._

No. You won't call him. You refuse. He made his fucking decision and you don't even care anyway.  _I'm sorry._ Yeah, right. If he was so fucking sorry he wouldn't have spent the night at Ray's. They would have talked about their  _feelings,_ sure. And they probably would have done those stupid little half kisses that don't count for anything but affection.

(You hate those and you hate him and most of all you hate how you used to smile when he did that.)

But he wouldn't have spent the fucking night there. If it's so damn hard to choose how could he think about sleeping with Ray when he's not supposed to know where he wants to be? He's not sorry. He chose Ray over you. Never in a thousand years did you think he would.

(To be fair, you're the one who gave him the goddamn ultimatum. Without it you could call him now and not feel guilty.)

(But you can't.)

He was supposed to love you. He was never supposed to say it, never think that it could be returned. You're supposed to be able to call him up and bring him home and let everything feel good for awhile. He's supposed to be your safety net for small jumps, and your air mattress for the bigger ones. You're supposed to be able to count on him.

He's supposed to care.

(You weren't supposed to. Guess nobody really fulfilled their roles.)

It's 3:30 a.m. You should be asleep.

You should not be laying in your bed, tossing and turning. You should not be thinking that maybe you'd be able to sleep if Gavin were there beside you. He's never actually slept in your bed and tonight you wish he had. It'd be something.

You try not to think about the fact that if you had a fucking heart to be begin with, he probably would have. And of course, it would have been _good._ Its only your fault that it never happened that way.

(It's all always been your fucking fault)

You still have your phone. Lock. Unlock. Send. One ring, two.

"Hello?"

" _Gavin._ I fucked up. I didn't- I just-  _Gavin."_

"Michael. Yeah, you did."

Rustling, the phone being handed off. Or forcibly taken, same difference. Ray's voice this time. "Goodnight, Michael."

Beep. Call ended.  _Fuck._

You think about calling back, but how pathetic are you trying to be tonight? It shouldn't even matter. You don't care. You never did. Gavin was just a thing that happened. You weren't prepared when it stopped. Not out of any feelings, just because it was sudden. That's all.

(You're a terrible liar.)

It's 4 a.m. You are asleep. You didn't fall asleep in the fetal position. You were not staring at your phone, willing it to ring. You don't dream that the whole thing never happened. You don't dream that Gavin was with you instead of Ray. You don't dream that you told him the fucking truth.

 You don't wake up three hours later, roll over, and are not surprised when you're alone. You've always woken up alone. It shouldn't be a big deal.

But it is.

Fuck.

(Everybody got what they deserved. Why are you complaining?) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I'll sleep like a normal person. One day I'll wake up and not be pissed off that I didn't post.   
> Also: the goal was to fuck with your minds. Hate Michael so much for three parts because he's an asshole, then come along and make you feel bad for him.  
> Did I succeed?


	41. of all people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Soulmate AU]  
> [Plain and simple]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked you:  
> freewood soulmate AU? where everyone gets necklaces that match their soulmates and Gavin loses his, but recognizes Ryan's necklace as the same as his, but Ryan doesn't believe that they are soulmates at first, 'cause Gavin doesn't have his necklace  
> \---  
> I love soulmate AU's but still found this hard to write. Hmmm. I hope I did it justice!

The necklaces are handed out at birth, then presented on the kid's 18th birthday. Providing the parents don't lose them, of course. (Michael's parents almost did. His mother cried.)

After 18, it's up to the person to keep track of their necklace. Most people don't wear them. They keep them in a jewelry box or in a drawer. Usually only those who have found their soulmates wear the necklaces, serving as a reminder. It can be annoying when they glow. That usually indicates something big going on in the relationship. Needless to say, proposals are not exactly surprises.

Those who haven't found their soulmate usually ignore them. They check on them occasionally. Have I found my soulmate yet? It's not glowing. Nope. Six months later? Oh lookie there.

Ryan hadn't checked on his for over a year, almost two. Basically since he had started at Achievement Hunter. It wasn't intentional. He simply hadn't particularly cared. He had enough going on in his life without dealing with a soulmate. Besides, he wasn't entirely sure he fully believed in the whole 'soulmate' thing. How were necklaces randomly given out a birth supposed to tell you who you belonged with? How on earth could they be accurate?

They were though. One look at Lindsay and Michael, or Geoff and Griffin, or Miles and Arryn, or any of the of the million couples at RT could tell you that. Ryan often wondered if their happiness was because  they were truly soulmates, or because they thought they were. He didn't ever say anything. Why mess with their heads?

He was fine forgetting about it. He didn't see a point in checking on the thing constantly. Until Jack brought it up not long after his wedding.

"So Ryan."

Dear god. Nothing good ever came after that phrase. "Yeah?"

"You ever gonna find your soulmate?" He fiddled with his own necklace, a simple gold heart. It was still glowing red, most likely from his recent marriage. Unless Caiti had news.

"Dunno, Jack. Maybe I already did. I haven't looked at the thing in almost two years."

"Jesus Christ. How do you not even care?"

He shrugged. "I've got my life. It works. Why do I need  to turn it upside down with another person?"

"Oh, I don't know. Happiness?"

"I am happy."

"You'd be surprised."

Jack used to be in the same boat. He thought he was happy enough. He didn't care too much about finding his soulmate. He kept his necklace hanging on the back of his door. He ignored it for the most part, only occasionally glancing at it to see if it was  glowing. Then he met Caiti, and it lit up like a Christmas tree. He started wearing it, told her his theory, and never looked back.

"If it'll make you feel better, I'll check tonight." He figured it would be fun to rub his face in the fact that it wouldn't be glowing.

Except it was.

Son of a bitch.

He stared at it, sitting in the box in which he'd received it. It was emitting a soft teal light, and he found himself wondering when it had started. How had it not stopped? Surely it didn't come with long lasting batteries.

He resigned himself to wearing it, just out of curiosity. The odds that his supposed 'soulmate' worked at the  company were slim, but it was worth a shot. Plus it'd been Jack's idea, and he was nothing if he wasn't a man of his word. Besides, Jack would bug him about it until he admitted the truth. Then he'd want to see it anyway. It was a time saver, really.

The next day, he stepped into the office with a grimace on his face. Because as soon as Jack saw him, he knew-

"I fucking told you!" Jack greeted him with a grin.

"Shut up, Jack. You said I'd be happy, which I am most decidedly not."

"Any idea who it might be?"

"How the fuck should I know?" He sat on the arm of the couch, not quite ready to go into the studio. He pulled at the charm around his neck harshly. "Thing just glows. It's not a fucking compass."

"Ten bucks says it's someone here."

"Yeah, sure." Ryan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Because I must have been too dumb to realize my soulmate's been here all along. I totally needed a piece of metal to tell me." He yanked at it again. The whole idea pissed him off. Always had, to some degree. "Please. It's probably someone I bumped into on the street. Never gonna see them again, and now I'm stuck with this bright piece of shit the rest of my life."

"You do know it doesnt work that way, right?" Jack raised an eyebrow, slightly disbelieving of Ryan's ignorance.

"I don't know how the hell they work! It's been magically glowing like this for God knows how long. You'd think it'd need batteries or something."

"No," Jack shook his head "I've got no clue about that. But what I do know is they only glow for milestones."

"Milestones?"

"Meeting. Committing. Further committing." He pointed  to his own, still a faint pink. "Probably kids. You'd have  to ask Geoff about that."

"So it's still glowing because I just met them?"

"Not like that." It was brighter than the night before, and closer to green than teal. "That should have faded when you picked it up. No, you're gonna find out who it is. Soon."

"Well that's just great. Yesterday I was  perfectly content with my life, and now, thanks to you bringing this shit up, it's gonna change. Thanks a lot."

Jack opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the door opening.

"Hey, have you seen-" Gavin stopped short when he spotted Ryan, and his eyes zeroed in on the object around his neck. "Ryan. Found your soulmate then, have you?"

"Apparently."

"Do you mind  if I...?" He nodded toward the necklace, indicating he wanted to look. He was slightly fascinated by them, though he'd lost his years earlier.

"Be my guest." He started to lift it up, but Gavin just reached out and held it there, still around his neck.

"You're lucky you've got a ring." He said, inspecting it closely. That's so much better than-" he froze, pendant still in his hand. He seemed shocked by something. The engraving, maybe? Most didn't come with words.

"Than what, Gav?" Ryan raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to snap out of it. Gavin raised his head slightly, eyes meeting Ryan's. The older man smiled, hoping to help him slightly. "Gav?"

"I- I have to go." He dropped the ring and turned away, half running in the direction of the studio. Ryan stared at the empty space for a moment before turning to Jack.

"Ok, is it just me or was that really weird?"

"It's Gavin, what do you expect?"

"Well yeah, but... I don't know. Seemed extra bizarre." He shook his head. "Something spooked him." He stood, tossing a "I'll be back' over his shoulder before taking off in the direction Gavin had gone. He had to know what was  wrong with the Brit.

He stepped into the studio, and the first thing he heard was Lindsay giving advice. "You gotta tell him. If it really is true, you'll be fine."

"Tell who what?" Ryan interrupted, trying to say humorous. The day was getting really weird. Three heads popped up, startled.

"Oh hey, Lindsay,remember that thing I wanted to show you?" Kdin nudged her chair, and none of it was  convincing. They just wanted out. Why?

"Oh yeah, that thing." They stood and rushed off, presumably to go look at the fake thing.

He went ahead and sat in Lindsay's chair, since his had been claimed by the man in front of him. "Gavin,what's up?" He tried smiling again, hoping to bring normalcy to the situation.

"Uh." He took a deep breath, but he stared at the floor. "That's my necklace." He said.

Ryan didn't get it. "What? No it's not. I've had this in a shoebox in my closet for... Well since I moved  in. Trust me, it's mine."

"No, I mean... I lost mine, right around the time I came to the states. It's probably still at my parents'. But that necklace..." He pointed, though he still wouldn't meet his eyes. "It's mine."

"That's not possible. You just said yours is at your parents'. How is it in two places at once?"

" _Ryan."_ finally he looked up. "It's the same."

"It's... What?" Realization set in. Gavin was saying it was the same necklace. Matching. As in... "What, you think we're soulmates?" How on earth was that possible?

"I'm not thinking it. I'm saying its true."

"No. There's no way. You and me? It probably just reminds you of-"

"'A thousand days overnight.'" He quoted, opting now to stare at the ceiling. The words were engraved on the inside of the band. Who knew why. "And above the stone there's what looks like and imperfection in the silver, but it's an upside down 'T'. The top is flush against it."

"How do you know that?" But he didn't have to ask. The situation was clear.

"Wore it constantly for almost a year. Thought maybe if I stared at it long enough it'd start." He glanced at the ring on Ryan's chest, still glowing. "Probably is now, huh?"

"I'd guess so." It was a shock to learn it was Gavin. Of all people,  _Gavin._ It did make a little sense. They once said if ever two people were to do the exact same thing, it'd be them. They complimented each other. Big words paired with made up ones. Dedication to their side of an argument. Smiles and laughter and  _how did they not see it before?_

"Sorry if you're a bit disappointed. I'm sure I wasn't exactly what you planned for in a soulmate." 

"No!" Ryan scooted the chair closer, trying to be comforting. "I'm not at all." He paused, considering something. "Ok, maybe I'm a little disappointed that I now owe Jack ten dollars."

"You what?"

"He put ten bucks on my soulmate being here. And I just thought 'yeah, ok. I'm not that oblivious, I think I'd know if I was working with them for two fucking years.' Clearly, I pay a lot of attention." He smiled, and so did Gavin.

"To be fair, I didn't realize it either."

The silence only lasted a moment before Ryan broke it. "So. Soulmates."

"Yeah. Um, question. Are we gonna... I mean, are we...?"

"I don't know. It's weird. You have this idea of who somebody is, and when that gets changed, it's disorienting. I think we should just... You know, figure it out as we go." He has zero idea how to go about this. Never in a thousand years had he pictured this scenario. He doesn't know how to handle it.

"Yeah. That sounds... Yeah."

"You wanna go back to the office?"

"If it's less awkward than sitting here, absolutely." He laughed, but the joke was only half-funny. It shouldn't be awkward. So they found out they're soul mates. It shouldn't make things weird. If anything, it should only make things better. Uncomfortable silence is not better.

Gavin got up, started to move toward the door. He just wanted a less tense moment. But Ryan stopped him.

"Hey, Gav?"

Ryan stood and strode toward him confidently, though he wasn't exactly feeling it. He hugged Gavin tightly, eyes closed. It just felt like the right thing to do. Hell, he needed it too. Because people make mistakes all the time. It had still crossed his mind that Gavin had just known from Ryan's necklace, and that maybe all this soulmate crap was bullshit. Maybe nobody was 'meant to be' anymore than anybody else.

But standing there in the middle of the studio, Gavin in his arms, he knew. Gavin was his soulmate, plain and simple.

 


	42. progress bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Ryan's life is a progress bar]  
> [There's usually a pause when it involves Gavin]

"My life is a progress bar." Ryan says, glancing up at Gavin. He's waiting for the reaction. Gavin freezes at the words, knowing just what they mean to reference.

("Ryan, I've told you a thousand times. Im just not ready."

"Come on, Gavin. What are you afraid of?"

"Im not-"

"You think they're gonna be mad? Maybe at first, because it's been so long. You think they're gonna tease us? How is that any different than normal? Or do you think they'll have a problem? Because if  _that's_ What's getting you... have you even met them? They'll be fine."

"I know that. Doesn't mean I'm ready to tell them."

"Think you'll ever be ready?"

"I-I don't know.")

A month later.

("Ryan,  _stop."_

"I'm tired of keeping secrets. They all deserve to know the truth."

"I told you-"

"You're not ready, I know. You need to get ready, because either you pick a time, or I do. Or we don't. Ever."

"Either tell everyone we're dating, or break up? That's the choice you want me to make?"

"Not even. Just tell me when. A ballpark. Anything."

"Six months."

"That long?"

" _At_ six months."

"Hey now, that's progress."

"Shut up.")

 At seven months nobody knows. They lie in bed at night, and Ryan continues to prove him about when.

"Gavin, honestly. At this point you're being ridiculous."

"You're ridiculous."

"Gavin."

"In a couple of months, ok?"

Ryan agrees because it's slightly more progress. Like twelve percent, but it's something.

-

Something less than he thought because four months later it's still a secret. They're coming up on a year and Gavin still doesn't want anyone to know. Ryan's getting sick of it. It's a mix of  _are you ashamed of me or something_ (because whose mine wouldn't that go through?) And  _goddamnit I just wanna kiss my boyfriend whenever without some major freak out._

_-_

At eleven months, twenty three days, it happens. Michael asks if Gavin wants to get bevs and be stupid later.

"Can't. Ryan made these reservations for some fancy-ass restaurant." He doesn't even think about what he said until Michael questions it.

"You and Ryan? Since when do you see him outside of work?" It's a half joke but a real question.

Gavin glances back, looking for help. Ryan's on the couch, waiting. It's up to Gavin what he wants to do. Come out, or not. Naturally, Ryan knows which one he'd like, but it's not quite at that point. Yet.

But Gavin comes through.

"Uh, like a year. Almost." He smiles at Michael apologetically, trying to convey his message without actually saying it.

"Eleven months, twenty three days." Ryan says quietly, and Gavin pretends not to feel the shiver that runs down his spine. Leave it to Ryan to know the exact numbers. It's because he cares so much.

"Eleven...  _wait._ Are you two like... a thing?"

The rest of the room is silent, having finally tuned into the conversation. They're waiting for an answer.

"For like a year."

"Eleven months, twenty three days." Ryan repeats, louder this time. He's grinning because  _fucking finally._

"Wait, so less than a year, more than six months?" Geoff asks, preparing to stand up.

"Yeah, technically. Why does that-"

"Yes! You three owe me a hundred bucks! Each!" Geoff stands, starts happy dancing.

Goddamnit Gavin. You couldn't have held on for another week?" Michael reprimands, reaching for his wallet.

"I don't understand."

"Yeah, you all knew?"

"Of course we fucking knew." Ray hands over his money, with a frown. "Everybody knew."

"We had a bet on how long it would take you to come out." Jack explains.

"I picked less than a year, over six months, so I win, bitches ! I'm now three hundred dollars richer, thanks guys."

 

 

 


	43. they're totally doing it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood centered]  
> [There's a bet on when they'll come out]

"Are you serious? Gavin and Ryan called out?  _Again?"_

 _"_ Apparently Gavin's alternating between throwing up and almost shitting his pants every five minutes. I wouldn't know, I try to distance myself from that. Ryan says he feels like death. He sounded like it, too."

Michael rolled his eyes. "He always sounds like death when he gets sick. Isn't this like the fourth time in the last couple months that they've  _both_ called out?"

"Yeah, so?" Jack answered before Geoff could. "People don't pick their times of illness, Michael."

"Yeah, it's probably just bad timing. Besides, wasn't Ryan saying yesterday that he felt off? It was probably starting then." Ray shrugged, spinning in his chair to better face the group.

"Gavin's the one that's weird. To just wake up like that? Did he seem OK last night?" Geoff looked at Michael for an answer. After a moment of silence, he tried again. "Well?"

It dawned on him that Geoff thought he knew. "What? How the hell should I know?"

"You were with him last night."

"No I wasn't. I left at six, and that's the last time I saw him."

"No it's not, I dropped him off at your apartment at eight." Geoff was confused as to why Michael didn't seem to remember. 

"You absolutely did not." It was hard to remember something that never happened.

"Yes I did! I remember because I asked if he needed a ride home. He said he'd get you to drive him."

"I have no clue what you're talking about. Gavin  _never_ came into my apartment last night. Ask Lindsay." Michael was dumbfounded. What the fuck was going on?

"Well then where did he go until two in the morning? And who dropped him off?" It was all very bizarre. First he apparently lies about where he was going, then he calls in sick. Even though he claims that never happens.

"Maybe he got a cab." Ray guessed.  "Maybe he went out drinking but didn't want to tell you, what with your whole sobriety thing and all. He probably got drunk, called a cab, and is now hungover. He just doesn't want to say that."

"It definitely wasn't a cab. Cabs don't sit outside your house for twenty fuckin minutes while your cat has a panic attack the whole time."

"Still freaked out by the dark?" Jack laughed, even though it was hardly funny. The cat had serious issues.

"I'm not even getting into that bullshit. Fuckin cat had to sit in the bathroom with the light on before she'd shut up." He shook his head. "Whatever, not the point. Whoever dropped him off sat out there for twenty minutes. My guess is Gavin was with them."

"Well no shit. You don't have any idea who it was?"

"Yeah, had a long talk. Got their birth certificate and everything, figured I'd keep it to myself though. No I don't fuckin know!"

Before Michael could start hollering, Jack cut him off. "Ok, so we've got Gavin lying about where he was going, sitting in a car with some mystery person, and now he claims he's sick."

Michael snorted. "Who wants to be he's lying about that too?"

"Who wants to be this isn't the first time it's happened?"

"Shit, Ray. You're right. There's been like four or five times in the last couple months he's had me drive him over there at night."

"Wait wait wait." Michael held out a hand, as if trying to pause the room. "Four or five times he's had you drive him to my apartment, four or five times he and Ryan have called out sick on the same day." He glanced around, looking for recognition. "Come on! Isn't that just a little bit weird?"

"No way. There's no way it's connected."

"It's gotta be! How could it be such a big coincidence that everytime Gavin goes on some midnight adventure, he and Ryan both call out the next day."

"We don't know if the dates line up like that." But he was unsure. As far as he could remember, they  _did_ line up. He hadn't realized it until Michael said it. He'd always sort of assumed Gavin had gotten food poisoning or something. It never occurred to him to ask why Michael didn't get sick, or why Ryan always did. The two had seemed unrelated. Apparently, they weren't.

"God, what are we? The fucking Hardy Boys?"

"Shut up, Ray. There's something going on, and I don't like it." Michael hated feeling out of the loop. It was one thing if it wasn't any of his business. But this definitely was. Gavin was one of his best friends, and if he had some secret with Ryan, Michael felt he deserved to know.

"You guys don't think they might be...You know?" Jack didn't want to actually say it. Sure they made jokes all the time, but this seemed very different.

"What, fuckin each other? Yeah, right." Geoff laughed, immediately dismissing the idea. Of course it couldn't be something like that.

Michael didn't let it go as easily. "I don't know, man. They're both pretty weird dudes. Maybe they _are_ taking that farther."

"There's no way!" Ray argued. "They would have told us."

"Unless they're worried about how we'd react."

"Or the audience." Michael pointed out. This definitely seemed like a distinct possibility.

"Still. We don't tell the audience everything, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't tell  _us."_

There was a division, Michael and Jack firmly believing there was some sort of relationship, Geoff and Ray continuing to ignore the evidence in favor of 'they would have told us.' But they all watch for the next few weeks.

They see the little glances the two always throw each other. They see he wide grin on Ryan's face when he messes with Gavin, and the way Gavin smiles and  laughs even though he supposed to be irritated. They see Ryan wrapping an arm around him when he loses vs. They hear the sincerity of the compliments, always thought to be jokes. They pretend not to notice how the two always team up, no matter what.

They keep watching and listening and noticing every detail, right up until they both call out. Again.

This time, there is no discussion. The fact are pretty clear.

"So they're totally doing it." Geoff announces, stepping into the office.

"You're sure? How?" Michael believes this theory inside and out, but he still wants some sort of proof.

"It was definitely Ryan who dropped him off last night. It was his car, and he put the interior lights on for just a second. Saw his face. Saw him lean over and kiss Gavin right before he got out, which was disturbing." He sits in his chair and shrugs. He went through the denial last night. "I guess now we wait and see how long it takes them to tell us."

"I can't believe it's actually true." Jack says, shaking his head.

"Yeah. Ryan and Gavin. It's crazy." Ray says it quickly, as  if he doesn't fully mean it. "But the real question is why the fuck haven't they told us?"

"Probably worried about how we'll take it."

"Yeah, Gavin can be a nervous little fuck. It'll be six months before he says anything, minimum." Geoff says.

"Probably more like a year."

Jack laughs. "Knowing Gavin, he'll probably wait until one of us brings it up." 

"No way." Ray doesn't believe any of them. "In a couple months they'll tell us and feel really dumb that we already know.

"Anybody care to make this interesting?" He grabs a notepad and a pen. "Hundred dollars says it takes them at least six months. Michael, you in?"

"Yeah, definitely. A year."

"Ray?"

"Might as well."

"Jack?"

"Well since everybody else is betting."

"Ok!" For some reason the thought of gambling has really perked Geoff up. "So if they come out between now and their six month mark, Ray wins. Between six months and a year, I win. Which I absolutely will, by the way. Over a year is Michael. And Jack thinks it'll take long enough that we get tired of waiting." He glances up. "Is that right?"

They all nod, each confident in their time.

"Alright, now we wait."

They all turn back to their computers, each editing something. There's five minutes of relative quiet, before Ray breaks it.

"So who do you think fucks who?"

 


	44. sleep is for the weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Its three a.m. and he's awake. But what else is new?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked you:  
> Hi, may I make a fic request, sort of? I apparently have a thing for Ryan as an insomniac, and I wonder if you could write a bit of Freewood incorporating that. Only if you want, of course, and in your own time; please don't feel rushed or pressured! Thanks in advance, and I adore your writing.  
> \---  
> Insomnia is the reason I write, I swear.

Gavin wishes he could say it's unusual to wake up alone. That it's not more surprising to roll over and hit a body rather than air. 

But he'd be lying.

Ryan has terrible insomnia. Horrendous, really. Nearly every night Gavin will find him in the living room, writing or playing a game or making plans for yet another bookshelf. Whenever he asks why the hell he's awake at three in the morning, Ryan will just shrug and say he couldn't sleep.

Gavin rolls his eyes. "Clearly. Why not?"

"Dunno. When do I ever sleep?"

"You really should. It's not good for your body to-"

"I know, Gavin. I've read the studies. I've heard countless radio doctors talk about it. You know what's funny? Hearing how losing sleep increases my risk for heart attack somehow keeps me up. I wonder how that happens." It's true though. He hears the statistics and of course it worries him. And what happens when he worries? Right, he doesn't sleep.

"Come on. Just come back to bed." 

"I'm not even tired. Besides, I'm working on plans for the new cabinet. I don't have time to sleep." That's not true. He could plan anytime. He chooses to plan at three in the morning.

Gavin leans over the arm of the couch. "Who said anything abo..." but the rest of the phrase is lost in a giant yawn.

Ryan laughs. "You wanna try that again?"

"I meant, who said anything about sleeping?" He grins.

"But you-" Gavin cuts him off with a kiss, and then he gets it. " _Oh."_

 _"_ yeah, oh." He grins again, reaching for Ryan's hand. "Now come on, you dope." Ryan lets himself get pulled from the couch, then pulled upstairs. As he falls backwards onto the bed, his arms wrap around Gavin's waist and he wonders who the hell needs sleep.

Gavin, apparently. After only a moment he pulls away, shifting down and to the side to rest his head on Ryan's chest. "Alright, goodnight then."

"Uh, I'm sorry, what?" He tucks a finger under Gavin's chin and lifts his head up. "I came back to this bed under the promise of sex."

"Yeah, and I came to this bed  _four bloody hours ago_ under the promise of sleep. I win." He swats Ryan's hand away, head falling back to his chest.

"But-"

" _Ryan._ Go to sleep."

"I've told you, I can't just-"

Gavin lifts his head in frustration.  _"Try."_ He says, punctuating the demand with a brief kiss. With a sigh he settles back down.

"Fine I'll _try."_ Ryan mocks. "Im sorry my insomnia annoys you so much." He's only partly sorry.

"You should be." Gavin mumbles sleepily. Ryan knows he's only kidding. Sort of.

Ok, he has to try. He closes his eyes, trying to focus on the blackness. Darkness. It's three a.m. He should be sleeping. Sleep. Unconsciousness. He's relaxing, falling closer and closer.

Except he's not. He starts jiggling his foot impatiently, wishing sleep would come faster. It only lasts until Gavin kicks him.

"Sorry."

He's still again, trying his best to fall asleep. He goes back to the keywords tactic. Darkness. Unconsciousness. Sleep. Frustration. Wide awake. In an attempt to distract himself fro his failure, he slips a hand under the hem of Gavin's shirt. He starts tracing random patterns onto his lower back, swirls and crappy hearts and once a cursive 'I love you.' Only once because after a minute, Gavin slaps at his hand again.

"Stop, that tickles."

"Sorry."

He tries to let his mind wander, to go down whatever twists and turns it needs before it will finally let him rest. After a moment, he speaks.

"Did you know a duck's penis is shaped like a corkscrew?"

Gavin sighs. He was almost out. "You may have mentioned before."

"Sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Little bit."

"Oops."

Another beat of silence.

"I wonder if the tip is really pointy."

Gavin cracks open one eye. "What?"

"You know, the tip of a duck's penis. Because it's all wonky like a corkscrew, I wonder if the tip is really pointy."

"Because this is what normal people talk about, ok."

"Also did you know that a female duck's vagina is like an inverse corkscrew? And a lot of people think that's why the male is like that, to try and fit better."

"Ryan, please. I've heard all I need to about duck penises for one lifetime."

"Sorry." He's saying that a lot tonight. He pauses, and Gavin thinks maybe it's over. "It's not just ducks though." 

Apparently not. "What's not just ducks?"

"Weird dicks. A lot of animals have really weird genitals."

He's not even going to respond anymore, it only encourages him.

"Like the echidna? Its penis has four heads, but only two of them work at a time. And the argonaut octopus has a penis that detatches and goes off on its own. And-"

 _"Ryan._ " Gavin says sharply. He just wants to sleep. "Will you please stop telling me about animal cock? I really  _really_ don't want to hear it right now."

"Is there a better time to hear about how snakes have two dicks?"

"There's never a good time for that." He sighs, partly out of exhaustion and partly out of frustration.

"I'm sorry, ok? My mind just won't let me sleep."

"Alright, I have an idea." Gavin shifts until he's on his back, using Ryan's arm as a pillow. He practically gropes Ryan's chest, searching. "Here give me your- " but he finds what he's looking for. He links his fingers with Ryan's. "There we go. If your brain won't stop, we'll use mine.

Ray chuckles. "What does that even mean?"

"Hush. So you remember the other day, Michael and I did immersion again?"

"Yeah, you didn't-"

_"Hush."_

"You asked a question!"

"Ryan. Stop. Anyway, it's probably a good thing we didn't have sex before because you would've gotten all worried about the bruises on my ass."

"Oh god. What happened?"

This time Gavin doesn't complain. "Let's just as it probably wasn't the best idea to give Michael a blind fold and a paintball gun." At Ryan's laughter, Gavin giggles too. "See, here's what happened..."

For the next hour he talks and tells stories. Ones Ryan has heard a thousand times, ones he's hearing for the first time. They laugh and giggle and make dumb jokes. Gavin keeps telling him to be quiet. Ryan never stops smiling because he just loves it so much. He loves  _Gavin_ so much.

At some point, toward the end of the 'reasons I hate water fountains' story, Ryan finally starts to drift off.

"...and that's why I never drink from water fountains. It's probably one of the most embarrassing things that's happened to me. You know?"

Silence.

"Ryan?"

There's a grunt that could be taken as recognition. Gavin glances up at his face. His eyes are closed, but his mouth is slightly open. He's very close to snoring, though he's only technically breathing loudly. He smiles. Good, Ryan's finally sleeping.

He shifts slightly, trying to fit into his side better. Before he can, Ryan makes a noise. "Hmmm?" Gavin pulls back, waiting for him to settle again. Instead he rolls onto his side, sleepily tucking an arm around his boyfriends waist. "Love you." He mumbles, barely conscious.

Gavin just grins. "Love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it ironic that I'm posting this at almost five a.m.?  
> Also:all the animal dick facts are based on a Google search of 'animals with weird penises'  
> Which is now in my search history.


	45. can't listen to my own advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Mavinwood]  
> [Michael/Gavin/Ryan]  
> [Its high time they go to bed]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Ryan can dish advice but he can't take it.  
> Just absolute fluff.

It's not uncommon for Michael and Gavin to fall asleep together in the recliner. It's a rather large chair, big enough to fit them fairly comfortably. Of course, that's only if they're tangled up and one is half laying on the other, but somehow that's ok. Usually they wake up in the middle of the night slightly disoriented, then make their way upstairs to the bedroom. Other nights Ryan wakes them, makes them get up and go. Rarely, they wake up in the  morning, stiff and regretful.

Tonight, Run tries to help. "Gavin." He says, shaking the Brit's shoulder.

Gavin wakes with a panicked gasp and lifts his head. In response to the movement, Michael grunts and buries his face in his boyfriend's chest. "Bloody hell, Ryan. What?" Gavin tries to get his heart to return to a normal rate.

"You guys should go to bed. It's like two a.m."

"We're fine."

"If you sleep here you're gonna-"

 _"_ Fuck  _off,_ Ryan." Michael mumbles against Gavins chest. "We're fine."

"You're gonna wake up stiff, and you're both gonna bitch about it all day. So just get up and go to bed."

"I said fuck off."

"Michael, just-"

"Oh my  _god, fine."_  Michael gives in, attempting to climb over Gavin and off the chair. His actions are clumsy, and result in a lot of Gavin-noises.

Ryan only laughs. "That would be the other problem with you two and that chair."

"Shut up." Michael says, pulling Gavin to his feet. He wraps an arm around his waist, and Gavin slips his around  his shoulders. They pause when they get to the base of the staircase. "You coming, Ryan?"

"Uh, nah. Not yet."

"The hell do you mean, not yet?"

"I got shit to do."

"What shit?"

Ryan shrugs. "I'm still figuring out that minecraft mod, and there's the planning for the tv cabinet-"

"Jack's building that."

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothing." Gavin shakes his head. "If we're going to bed, so are you."

"Guys, really-" but the lads step forward in surprising unison, considering its them, plus they're tired. They each grab one of his hands, start pulling him forward. Despite his protests, he finds himself getting dragged upstairs.

Gavin is the first to fall to the bed, though he does it much more gracefully than anybody thought possible. He pulls Ryan down beside him, and then his hands are released. Almost immediately, Gavin is on him, lips capturing his in a deep kiss. For a moment Ryan thinks that if  _this_ was why they wanted him to go to bed, they should have just said so.

But Michael shoves him away. "Christ, Gavin. The point is to go to sleep."

"What?" Gavin bats his eyes innocently, though he's grinning. "I'm just saying goodnight!" He moves to kiss Ryan again, and their lips only just touch when Michael pokes him in the cheek, and he pulls away again.

"Please, it's never just goodnight with you."

Gavin shifts to rest his head on Ryan's chest, one arm slipping around his torso. "Since when is that a bad thing?"

"I certainly wasn't complaining." Ryan murmurs, hand slipping to the small of Gavin's back.

"Shut up, Ryan. You're only gonna encourage him." But he leans over, kisses Ryan gently. "Goodnight, though."

"What, I don't get a goodnight too?" Gavin tilts his head to look at him, mock offense on his face.

"Course you do, Gav."  Michael reaches out and flicks him in the side of the head.

"Mi-cool!"

"'Night, babe." Michael laughs, slipping into bed beside Ryan. The nickname feels out of place and foreign, mostly because he only said it to be funny. He doesn't curl up to Ryan. Rather, he lies on his back, pillow over Ryan's arm.

They lay there in comfortable silence, the lads drifting off within a few moments. Ryan's is awake for a bit longer, though not nearly as long as he figured. He's a lot more tired than he thought. The last thing he thinks before falling asleep has, for once, nothing to do with minecraft or building or what video he has to edit. Rather, he just thinks how goddamn lucky he is. Sure, his boys can be annoying and immature a sometimes a bit much, but he wouldn't trade them for the world.


	46. don't  get pregnant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Soulmate AU]  
> [Geoff gives Gavin advice, and maybe threatens Ryan]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole soulmate thing is longer than I thought it was going to be, some I'm cutting this up a bit. Part 3 later tonight though, so yeah.

"Gavin, if you don't stop bouncing your leg is gonna fall off." Geoff stares at Gavin's knee, practically nauseous at the up and down motion.

"Sorry." He says, stretching his legs out. Now his foot is twitching.

"Seriously, dude, relax. It's just Ryan."

"I know."

But it's  _not_ just Ryan. Ok, yeah, technically he's only going out with Ryan, but it's so much more than that. Ryan is his soulmate. On some level, they're meant to spend the rest of their live  together. Sure, not every relationship turned into something romantic. They were rare, but some people simply lived better without a romantic partner. That type of pairing usually involved the couple living together but functioning more as best friends and roommates than a married couple. Because of course they were best friends.

Soulmates  _needed_ each other, bottom line. They were different parts of the same picture. Not always halves. Sometimes thirds, quarters, or even less. That was even rarer, multiple soul mates. It happened, sure. And it always seemed like everybody knew somebody who knew somebody. Those relationships went a little different too.

But they always stayed together, in some form or another.

Not because they had to. Of course, there was  No requirement that everyone stay with whoever fate had matched them with. It was just... nobody ever wanted  to leave. Why would they?

So no, this isn't 'just Ryan'. It's the start of his entire future and yeah, he's nervous. It's pretty damn hard not to be.

"Are you worries because it's Ryan-your-soulmate, or Ryan-the-guy-who-traps-things-in-holes?" He's half joking to lighten the mood, half seriously asking. He thinks if he'd found out Ryan was his soulmate, he'd be a little nervous. For the moat part, he played up the 'crazy guy' role for the audience. But you had to wonder about   guy who would think of that shit to begin with.

"I, uh, a little bit of both." He laughs nervously.

Geoff laughs too, slightly more genuine. "Yeah, I figured."

"Gavin, you'll be fine. You're soulmates, of course it's going to work. Nervous to the point you throw up on somebody's shoes-"

"I thought we agreed to never  talk about that!"

"And I thought you were going to buy me a new pair." Griffon smiles sweetly. "He'll think it's actually really sweet that your that nervous, and slightly funny."

"You were  _not_ laughing that night, if I remember correctly. I seem to recall you screaming at me that they were your favorite pair." Geoff squeaked indignantly. She had  _never_ told him she thought it was sweet, albeit gross.

"Thought we weren't talking about it?" She says, dismissively waving her hand.

"I cannot believe you never told me you thought it was sweet. I still feel guilty about it sometimes!"

"Please. Of course I thought it was sweet. I married you, didn't I?"

"We're soulmates."

"Yes, ever more proven by the fact that you practically barfed in my lap, and yet I still married you." She smiles again, and Geoff rolls his eyes.

"You're lucky I love you."

"Other way around, sweetheart."

And now it's Geoff's turn to smile because yeah, he's damn lucky.

Gavin sighs. Listening to them banter had been distracting for a moment, but the nerves are back. He starts bouncing his leg again, and Geoff narrows his eyes.

"Christ, Gavin. Relax."

"I  _can't._ I just keep thinking... What if I say something dumb? Or do something embarrassing? What if..." his voice ie small and unsure. "What if he regrets finding out we're soul mates?"

This Gavin is highly unusual, and it worries him. He shouldn't be so scared. He needs to realize that Ryan is his soulmate, so it's going to work. It has to. He glances at Griffon, wondering just how to handle this. She smiles sympathetically.

"Gav, you really don't need to worry. Trust me. I was so nervous I threw up-"

"And destroyed my shoes."

"- and look where we are." Geoff continues as I'd he hadn't been interrupted. He does shoot her a glare though. "Soulmates just... get that stuff. I don't know how to explain it. Believe me, if you and Ryan are soulmates-"

"We are. Told you, I called my mum and she found it. Exact match." In fact, he's wearing it. He toys with the ring nervously, glancing down at it. It's not glowing anymore.

"Then I'm telling you," Geoff places a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You'll be fine. You two are gonna go to the park, you're gonna talk. You'll say you want to go to a restaurant but you won't. You'll get shitty hotdogs from a creepy vendor. You'll fall asleep thinking it's the best damn meal of your life. I'll make dinner tomorrow and you'll change your mind. He'll probably kiss you because let's face it, once you get past any weirdness, you're gonna be all over each other all the time. You will absolutely  _not_ do it anywhere in my vicinity because I don't want to see that shit." He releases Gavin's shoulder and leans forward. "And that's what's gonna happen. Did you hear the phrase 'You're gonna fuck it up big time' in any of that?"

Gavin sighs. "No, but-"

He's interrupted by the sound of a knock on the door.

Geoff grins. "But nothing. Now go on, go get your man." He laughs.

"Oh sod off." Gavin grumbles, standing and heading for the door. His hand pauses just above the knob, and he takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He should not be this nervous. He opens the door to reveal a smiling Ryan, hands in his pockets.

"Hey, Gavin."

"Hi."

The silence is awkward, and they don't meet each other's eyes. They simply stand there, one man just inside the doorway, the other out. Neither one is sure how to go about this. The only conversation they had regarding the new discovery was Gavin explaining it. It came up again briefly when Ryan asked him out. It consisted mostly of  _you busy tomorrow_ and  _we should do something. Because... well you know._

Geoff is the first one to break the quiet. "Hey, dickheads." He says, coming up from behind Gavin. "In or out?"

"Uh." Gavin hesitates, unsure.

"Gavin, out, good choice." Geoff pushes him forward, into Ryan. The older man, in turn, catches the Brit, a grin on his face.

"Careful, Gav."

Gavin flushes a bright red. "I am careful. Geoff pushed me."

"I did no such thing." Geoff snickers. "Ryan, in? Even better." He pulls Ryan toward him, through the doorway.

"Geoff-" Gavin starts to protest, but the door gets closed in his face.

"Look, we're friends and all, and I get that maybe this is gonna sound stupid, but I have to say it."

"You don't. I know-"

"I do. Fast, because Gavin's gonna have a stroke out there." He takes a breath, wanting get the speech done and over with. "Kid's like a son to me. I don't want to have to kill you. So just... be good to him, ok?"

"Of course."

"Seriously. What happens between you guys stays between you, but if he comes home all fucked up over something... I get involved. That's just how it is."

Ryan nods. "I expect nothing less."

"Last thing. Please don't ever fuck where I can hear. I don't need the scars."

He laughs. "Relax. This thing... I have no idea how it's gonna go. I mean...I just don't know, you know?"

"Yeah, well I do. Don't ever fuck near me." He does know. They'll be awkward for a bit, but they'll get over it. He could hear it in Gavin's voice when he worried about Ryan being disappointed. He supposes he's always heard when Gavin talks about him, a lightness that didn't come out with anyone else.

Ryan's the same. He's always gone out of us way to go after Gavin more often than anyone else. He's always glancing up at him, a smile on his face. The way he laughs when Gavin uses dumb, made up words.

Really, it's pretty stupid it took magic necklaces to get them to figure it out.

Ryan smiles. "I make no promises on that."He clears his throat, and Geoff knows they're going serious again. "In all seriousness, Geoff... never, ok? Honestly, I don't know how all this is gonna work, or what it's gonna be. I'm kinda just going with what feels right. But believe me, if something happened..." he shakes his head, not wanting to consider the stupid shit he might do. "You'd have to get in line to hate me."

"Good to know." He puts a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "I am happy for you guys." He says, opening the door. Gavin is standing there, arms crossed, a sour look on his face. Clearly he feels out of the loop, and is pissed about it.

Ryan grins, looking at him. "Yeah, me too."

"I heard every word you said, Geoffrey." Gavin claims as Ryan steps past him.

"You did not. Otherwise you'd be screaming about me telling him about your dick." Geoff shrugs, trying to hide a grin.

"Wot!" Gavin shrieks, accent heavy. "You said what?"

"Have fun, kids." Geoff says, instead of answering. "Only accept rides from guys in vans-"

"They do have the best candy." Ryan jokes.

"Right, exactly. Wear a condom, don't get pregnant. Gavin, at least make him buy you dinner first. Be a little classy."

"I hate you so much."

"Ryan, he's foreign. Don't take advantage of his vast lack of knowledge about... well, anything, really."

"Ill be a try gentleman." He promises, laughing as Gavin stomps down the driveway. Apparently he's tired of the conversation. Ryan jogs after the younger man, still giggling at Geoff.

"Don't get pregnant!" He calls again, and at the end of the driveway, Gavin stops and shakes his head.

"Hate you!"

"Love you too, buddy!" He glances up just as the door closes, and Ryan laughs.

"God," Gavin moans, burying his face in his hands. "I live with that. I've lived with it for years, and I never left."

"I'm very sorry for you, Gavin." But he's not. Jokes are easy, familiar. Much better than awkward silence. They're walking away from the house, down the sidewalk. They could drive to the park, but it's more fun this way.

"I'm gonna go ballistic one day, just wait. He's out of his damn mind."

"I think you're getting me and Geoff confused."

"No, you're insane too, but it's different. Your crazy doesn't embarrass me to no end."

"Good to know. Means I've gotta step it up."

_"Ryan!"_

 


	47. why didn't we do this before?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Soulmate AU]  
> [First date]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cries because I'm getting so fucked by life*  
> Ahhhh. This has taken way too long. Sorry about that.

They're walking to the park in silence, each unsure of what to say. At some point, Ryan can't take it. He laughs, nudges the Brit with his elbow.

"What?"

"Nothing." He stares straight ahead, trying to keep a straight face. The bait is there, waiting. Gavin only has to take it.

He does. He elbows him back, slightly harder.

"What?"

"Nothin." But Gavin can't help but grin.

The gentle nudges quickly turn into an all out shoving match as they walk along, earning them eye rolls from several strangers. Elbows become shoulders become hands, pushing each other off balance. Gavin is the first to duck, to avoid getting hit. That starts the avoidance game, which morphs seamlessly into Ryan chasing Gavin the rest of the way to the park. They arrive breathless, Gavin stepping through the gate just seconds before his date. They're doubled over, trying to get what little oxygen they can. It's a mix of running and laughter, which still hasn't stopped. Gavin's lungs are burning, but he's grinning like he's won the lottery. They both are, really.

"Only way I'm travelling to this park from now on." Gavin pants, finally catching his breath.

"Agreed." Ryan can't stop smiling.

"Plus I won, so that makes me pretty happy."

"The fuck makes you think that?" 

"I got here first." Gavin says simply, breathing finally under control.

"That wasn't the game!"

"Yes it was."

"No, it  _wasn't."_

"if we weren't racing, then what the hell were we doing?"

Ryan falters, because he doesn't know. He just doesn't want Gavin to have won.

"It seemed like you were trying to bloody tackle me, and I had to get away." Gavin shrugs. "I did, so I win."

"Did you though?" An evil grin is slowly spreading across his face. He takes a step toward Gavin, who matches it by backing up.

"Ryan, don't-"

But it's too late. Before Gavin get get far enough away, Ryan reaches forward, wrapping strong arms low on Gavins waist. He lifts the now shrieking Brit into the air, doing so easily despite the protests. He holds him tightly even though he's smacking him and hollering at Ryan to put him down. A few people are staring, but they write it off as a couple being dumb. They aren't wrong.

"I'd say I've pretty much captured you. Means I won, right?"

"Let me go!" He won't stop squirming, trying to find a way out of Ryan's grasp.

"Usually there's a magic word you need to figure out." 

 _"Ryan Haywood put me the fuck down!"_ The loud scream attracts even more stares, and a few disapproving looks.

Ryan concedes, partly out of laughter, and partly out of surprise that he got Gavin to yell 'fuck' so loudly. "Language, sir." He jokes, finally setting Gavin back on the ground.

"Oh sod off." Gavin stumbles as his feet hit the concrete, and puts a hand  on Ryan's shoulder to steady himself. "Only said it to make you..." he trails off, realizing the position they're in. Ryan's hands are on his waist, he has a hand  on Ryan's shoulder, and they're practically pressed against each other. Ryan's eyes meet his as he reaches the same realization. "Oh, um..." 

"Gavin, this doesn't have to be-"

"Shut up." He knows it doesn't have to be romantic. They don't have to kiss and smile and make suggestive jokes that later come true. They don't have to fall asleep wrapped in each other. They don't have to spend  their nights talking, learning every detail they can just because they're curious. They don't have to bicker about stupid shit then make up with gentle kisses and 'I still think you're wrong.' They don't have to fall in love that way.

But god does he want to.

"I'm just saying-"

"And I'm just saying shut up." His heart is pounding so hard that  he can feel it in his temple. He didn't know before. He thought it could happen, sure. How many dates down the road before they'd give it a shot? It'd happen eventually. Whether that would work was the question. He didn't know he had a preference. He figured they'd agree when the time was  right.

But he knows now.

"I only meant-"

"Oh for God's sake, Ryan." Gavin closes the distance between them, hand slipping to his neck to pull him down slightly. Their lips meet and all Gavin thinks is  _why the fuck didn't we do this before?_

Every doubt or nervous thought Ryan had goes out the window. Of course they're soulmates. They're idiots for never figuring it out before. He really wishes they had.

They break apart briefly, foreheads touching. It's new, exciting, and Ryan can't stop smiling. Neither can Gavin, for that matter. It just all makes so much sense now.

"Well then." Ryan says, because he feels as though he should fill the silence. It's not awkward. 

"That's a thing." Gavin chuckles. It's a thing he never wants to stop happening.

"Yeah it is." 

This time Ryan kisses Gavin, but it doesn't last as long. Gavin pulls away, all the way out of Ryan's grasp.

"Goddamnit!"

For a second Ryan's heart is in his throat. Did he misread signals? He doesn't think he could have. But he apologizes anyway, because he cannot have fucked this up so fast. "I'm sorry, I thought-"

"No!" Gavin spins back toward him. "No no no no, not you." He puts a hand  on his face, smiles. "Definitely not you."

"Then what?"

Gavins hand drops, and  he turns away. "Bloody Geoff. He was right."

"About what?"

He sighs. "He said we were gonna walk around the park,  talk, eat shitty hotdogs, and you were gonna kiss me. And that after we got over that being weird at all, we're gonna be all over each other."

"And?"

"And he's absolutely right."

Ryan's breath comes out in a relieved laugh. "Is he?"

Gavin grins, stepping forward. He doesn't hesitate, placing a quick kiss on Ryan's lips and  hugging him tightly. "Yeah." He breathes deeply as Ryan wraps his arms around his shoulders. "It's weird. But a good weird."

"It is." Ryan swallows hard, because he knows he's about to take an actual comfortable moment and make it awkward. "Um, I feel like there's something we should talk about."

"Hmm?" Gavin doesn't move. In no way does he want to.

"Well, this is new, and different, and uh... I mean, clearly there's more between us than just platonic... You know."

Now he pulls back slightly to look up at Ryan. He knows exactly what he's getting at. He thinks they should take things slow, be careful about getting too physical too fast. It makes sense, of course. There's the potential to ruin everything by sleeping together too soon. He agrees, to an extent. He just sort of figures they'll go with what feels right.

He doesn't say any of that, though. He just raises an eyebrow and tries to suppress a smile. It's more fun to see Ryan squirm.

"And I just think it might not be the best idea to get...um,  _physical-"_

Gavin snorts, finding his phrasing slightly hilarious.

"I mean, I think it would be best to..."

"Uh huh?" He can't keep he grin off his face.

"To,like, wait and..." Gavin starts laughing now, and he gives up. "You know what I'm saying!"

"Yeah, but it's funnier to hear you all nervous." He shakes his head. "No, but I do get it. I'm with you. We'll figure it out, you know?"

Ryan rolls his eyes. "Come on," he says, reaching down ad taking Gavin's hand. "I want a hot dog." He starts to walk away, but Gavin stands still.

"Thought we said no sex?" He jokes, and Ryan pulls him forward.

"Shut up."

They spend the rest of the day just as Geoff described. They walk hand in hand, swapping stories. Ryan tells him about crazy things he did because of theater. The dress story is particularly amusing. Gavin talks about growing up, little milestones that he remembers. Ryan swears he'll teach Gavin to drive, because "you're a grown man, you should be able to provide your transportation."

"Why should I? I've got you now."

They get hotdogs and the vendor stares at Gavin. Ryan puts an arm around his shoulders and leads him far away, slightly irritated. Gavin teases him about being jealous. He claims he'll take him right back. "Besides, you can't get away from him. You can't drive, remember?"

They see a shitty comedy movie that Ryan pays little attention to. All he thinks about is Gavin's knee pressed against his, and their shoulders half leaning on each other. He thinks the protagonist won whatever it was he was trying to accomplish, but he isn't sure. He claims he dozed off and asks Gavin.

"Oh, uh, I dunno. I think so."

"You're not sure?" He's surprised. He figures it would have been right up Gavin's alley.

"Hard time concentrating." He says, smiling.

Ryan grins but doesn't tell him the truth.

They walk back to the Ramsey's and, in true first date fashion, Ryan kisses him at the door. They both laugh when Geoff flickers the porch light.

"Guess that's my cue." Ryan says, and kisses him once more. He's halfway to his car when Gavin's voice stops him.

"Hey, Ryan?"

He turns, not sure what to expect. "Yeah?"

"Not to sound cliche and pathetic, but um, will you..." he can't bring himself to say it. It just sounds too dumb.

Ryan laughs. "I'll call you tomorrow, Gav."

"Well if you insist." He smiles into the darkness, even though he knows Ryan can't see it. "Thanks."

"Goodnight, Gavin."

"'Night."

Ryan waits until he's  in the house before driving away.

Inside, Geoff greets him with a smile. "So how was it?"

"Really great." Gavin answers honestly. He has a wide grin on his face, and his cheeks are tinged pink. He feels like a teenager.

"I was right, wasn't I?"

Gavin doesn't answer, trying to word it without making Geoff think he was actually right. "Uh, well, it was a lot of fun. We saw this movie, and-"

"Cut the crap, Gavin. Was I right?"

"Well-"

"Goddamnit I should have put money on it. I  _knew_ it."

Gavin rolls his eyes. Leave it to Geoff to turn it around like this. 

"Seriously though, Gav." He puts a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. "I am happy for you guys."

He can see Ryan's taillights disappearing down the street, and Gavin smiles.

"Yeah, me too."


	49. 636

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Sorta implied AHOT6]  
> [The boys spend one last time in the old office]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some personal stuff at the end.  
> Sorry for not posting.

"It's not even that big of a deal." Michael said, digging the toe of his shoe into the carpet. "It's just a new building."

"I know right?" Geoff glanced around the empty office. "Who cares?"

There was silence, and they all wondered who would be the first to break down. Because of course someone would. The truth was they were all sad to go. 636 had been a home to them. So many memories were made in that room, and it was hard to leave it behind. Yeah, they would make new memories. Gavin would find a way to destroy his new desk. Geoff would try and kill him. Ryan would find new pranks to pull on them. Jack would build some giant statue that would be another fire hazard. Ray and Michael would find a new chair to break together. (They never did tell the full story on that one) They were moving on to bigger and better things.

But still.

"Um, I know we're supposed to be all tough and macho about it, but I'm really gonna miss this place." Ray said quietly, staring at the black and yellow structure in the corner. He'd never given much thought to how much he really loved this office. It was cramped, and hot, and they frequently had connection issues, but it was still theirs.

"Yeah, me too." Geoff was clearly on both sides of the issue.

"You just said you didn't care."

"Well I lied. Shut up."

"Yeah, Ryan. I thought you woulda learned to read between the lines by now." Michael laughed. "Stated or unstated."

The room erupted into nervous chuckles as they were reminded of the 'Clouds' Lets Play. They still gave him hell over that from time to time.

"I still maintain that was a totally legit thing."

"Yeah," Gavin said sarcastically. "Just as legit as Caleb screenlooking."

"Fuckin' got'em!"

"Goddamnit Ray." Michael spun toward him, trying to hide a smile. "Everytime?"

Ray shrugged. "Last one for this office. You gotta give it to me."

They all just rolled their eyes.

From his place on the couch, Ryan studied Gavin. He was being a lot more still than normal. "Remember the time my x-box crashed so I spent the rest of the time balancing shit on your head?"

"Ryan, if we're gonna reminisce about everytime your set up crashed, we're not gonna move till May." Jack joked.

"Fuckin' got'em!"

" _Ray!"_

"Sorry. Last one."

Gavin glanced up at Jack. "Remember tennis?"

"That wasn't in the  office."

Before Gavin had a chance to speak, Ryan cut him off. "That wasn't, but his opportunity at redemption was. Which he still didn't take."

"It was your game! Of course I lost!"

"Well now you're just being a sore loser."

"Because you're one to talk about being a bitch when you lose." Geoff snorted, rolling his eyes.

"When have I ever been a bitch?"

"How about the time I was about to win GO! and you switched my input?" Jack pointed out.

"Well-" Ryan started, though he had no real counter for it.

"I still resent the fact that you initially blamed  _me_ for it." Gavin said, and Michael laughed.

"To be fair, dude, it wouldn't have been the first time."

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothing." Geoff interrupted. "You're both bitchy losers, and you deserve each other."

Gavin grinned. "Yeah, guess we kinda do."

They fell into silence again, each just looking around the room. Michael's eyes focused on a piece of tape that had once kept the GO! board attached to the wall. The poster was rolled up in a box at the new  office, but the tape remained. Ryan picked at a tear in the couch. It had been Gavin's fault; nobody should have given him a box cutter.

Gavin ran a hand over the silver letters on his desk, then the rough edges of the holes. He was going to miss the little reminders of dumb shit that happened over the years, including the buzzer. Jack studied the giant tower of pumps he had spent way too long building. He still remembered Joel's insistence that he sign it, and was  glad that never panned out.

Ray stared at his own desk, still slightly surprised how nice it looked when it wasn't covered in shit. It was as empty as it'd ever be again, though. No way he'd keep it clean.

And Geoff just watched each of them. Five of his greatest mistakes. The other three were at the new office, still setting stuff up. Not that he didn't care about them too, but these were his boys. His best friends, five of the people he loved most in the world. He didn't do the 'look how lucky I am' thing often, but when he did it hit him hard.

The move was an experience. The new office would be different, and it would take some getting used to. And of course he would miss 636. There were so many memories he would always remember, and a thousand times more that he'd already forgotten. But as sad as it was to leave, it didn't bother him all that much. He didn't need an office to call a place home. He didn't even need a building.

He just needed his boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, I don't know how regularly I'm gonna be able to do this anymore. Not to get into a whole thing, but depression fucking sucks. And it's pretty much killing me. I'm gonna keep trying, but I don't know how much longer I can do this.  
> So yeah.  
> Sorry about that.


	50. I knew moving was a bad idea (Freewood)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Freewood]  
> [Neighbor AU]  
> [Ryan moves into the apartment next door, and Gavin makes excuses to talk to him]

"Tell  me that's not a moving truck. If that's a fucking moving truck it better be somebody leaving. That bitch from upstairs, I hope."

But of course that wasn't the case. The woman who lived above them (and constantly made ungodly noises with visitors) was never going to leave. She'd be there until death finally took pity on those around her and ended the miserable bitch. Yes, someone was moving in. Naturally, there was only one empty apartment; the one next door. They were getting a neighbor. They both just hoped the new person wasn't a sex-addict.

"Sorry, Geoff. You never know, they could be really nice." Gavin always tried to look on the bright side of things. He didn't see much point otherwise.

"Yeah, nice. That's just what we need, another  _nice_ neighbor. I'd prefer hot."

"Could be both." He peered through the window over looking the street, hoping to catch a glimpse of the newcomer. And to maybe see if they played instruments, or if they had any loud looking furniture. He was just curious, really. And concerned for the sake of his ears. After a moment, a man hopped down easily from the back of the truck, despite the large box he was holding. 

He looked to be several years older than Gavin, though still younger than Geoff. He had slightly wavey blonde hair that fell into his face as he walked. He flicked his head to the side, trying to rid himself of the annoyance. He wore jeans and an olive green t-shirt, the latter of which seemed quite snug. Or maybe it was because he was lifting the box. Gavin was struck by how  _strong_ he seemed to be.

The whole 'hope it's not a sex-addict' thing quickly became only Geoff's wish.

" _Woah."_

"What? Do they look crazy? Do they have a fuckin guitar again?" Geoff peered over his roommate's shoulder, trying to see what had Gavin all flustered. It became clear when the man re-emerged from the building. The shirt was not just snug from the lifting. "Oh goddamnit. When I said hot I meant for me, not you."

He walked away, going back to the couch. Gavin just turned, not leaving the window. "Did you  _see_ him?" He kept glancing back out, watching. In a totally non-creepy way, of course.

"Yeah, I saw him. And I'm sure if I were into dudes I'd be creaming myself right now. But I'm not and you are, so go talk to him."

"I don't even know him. What would I say?"

"Welcome him to the building. Be that cheesy asshole."

"I can't. No way."

As it turned out, he absolutely  _could._ But only with Geoff shoving him out the door, down the stairs, and into the lobby. He waited until the guy was inside again, called out 'Hey dude!" pushed Gavin forward, and turned around, pretending to check his mail.

The guy stopped, looked at Gavin. "Did you say something?"

"Um. Hi. Welcome to the, uh, the building." He looked panic-stricken. He also hated Geoff with every fiber of his being.

"Thanks?"

He didn't know what to say. The guy had the bluest eyes Gavin had ever seen, and they had him very flustered. Not that he wasn't before, but the eyes made it worse. Finally, Geoff gave up on leaving them alone. Clearly it wouldn't go anywhere without his help. He turned back around and feigned surprise.

"Gavin, hey, I didn't see you there." he threw an arm around his friend's shoulders and looked at the blonde man. "Who's your friend?"

"I'm gonna kill you." Gavin mumbled in his ear. He absolutely was.

"I'm Ryan." The guy answered. "I'm moving in upstairs."

"Not apartment 312?"

"Uh, yeah, actually. How'd you know?"

"Well no way. That's right next to us." Geoff grinned. "I'm Geoff, by the way. This is-"

"Gavin, yeah. I figured." Ryan smiled, though he seemed vaguely uncomfortable.

"Anyhow, we're right next door if you need anything. 314. Gavin's a great tour guide, if you want to get to know the city." He shook the younger man slightly, and Gavin turned an even darker shade of red. Which was saying something, considering Geoff was almost positive all of his blood was in his face at that moment.

"Thanks, I guess. I'm sure I'll be fine, but thanks."

They stood there in awkward silence. Gavin was ready to faint out of embarrassment, Ryan was unsure of a polite way to walk away, and Geoff was just grinning.

"Yeah, we've been here about a year." Geoff answered the question no one had asked. He was just hoping to help Gavin out a little. Kid deserved someone nice.

"Congratulations. Uh, must be hard. Texas and all."

Gavin was absolutely mortified at this point, and Geoff's eyes widened and he dropped his arm. His grin never faltered though. "Oh no. We're just friends. Roommates. I'm not gay. Gavin... well Gavin's kind of a mix of shit. What was that analogy you made once? Something about a buffet and-"

And with that final nail in Geoffs coffin, Gavin finally found his voice. "Alrighty then, Geoff, stop talking. Ryan, lovely to meet you, enjoy your flat. Good luck with the rest of your boxes." He grabbed Geoffs wrist and dragged him away, back up the stairs. He almost didn't hear the call after him.

"Thanks. You too."

Back in the apartment, Gavin found it much easier to talk. Yell, really.

"What the hell, Geoff?"

"I was trying to help you out!"

"By telling him about the buffet thing? Do you realize how drunk I was when I said that? How on earth would that be a helpful story?"

Geoff shrugged, though his laugh gave him away. "Thought he might find it funny and then fall in love with your humor?"

"I hate you so much."

\---

A week later he was still thinking about Ryan. The guy had to think he was a complete moron,right? In Ryan's mind, Geoff was a freak and Gavin was stupid for living with him. 

Right?

He avoided the new man at first, always checking the hallway via peephole before venturing out. He was terrified of embarrassing himself again. But Geoff brought up a good point.

"Dude. Who cares if he thinks you're weird? Since you're clearly not gonna go after him, it shouldn't matter. Not like it can damage a relationship you don't have."

It was true. His initial fear was that his future boyfriend could think he's a freak. But by avoiding him, it made it impossible for Ryan to  _ever_ be his boyfriend, so therefore he had no reason to hide. Unless he gave himself one.

He knocked on the door of 312 at four in the afternoon. He'd non-creepily kept an eye on the place most of the day, and he knew Ryan was home. He didn't really think about why. Ryan opened the door after the third time he knocked.

" _What?"_

"Hi. I don't know if you remember, but Im-"

"Gavin. Yeah, I know." Ryan crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. "What do you want?"

"To apologize. Geoff can be a little... pushy, and I know it bothers some people."

"He's pushy and you're silent. Great match there."

"We're not a couple." That was the last thing he wanted Ryan to think.

"Right. I remember that too."

"Anyway. Um yeah. Sorry about the other day." He's not sure what he expected, but this wasn't it.

"You done?"

Gavin nodded, slightly confused. This had so not gone according to plan. He'd wanted to increase the odds of Ryan liking him, not to piss him off.

"Alright. Bye then."

The door closed in his face, and Gavin blinked. What the hell? He'd hardly spoken two words to the man, and yet Ryan seemed to hate him. What could he have possibly done?

It was then that Gavin made a decision. If Ryan was going to hate him for no reason, well, Gavin would give him one.

\---

Two days later Gavin knocked on his door again. Three knocks, then an answer. "Can I help-" Ryan narrowed his eyes. "Oh.  _You. "_ He crossed his arms. "What do you want?"

Gavin smiled. "Could I use your phone?"

"My phone? What, you dont have one?"

"Lost it. Which is why I need yours so I can call it and find it."

"Your roommate who's apparently definitely not gay?"

He could have questioned why Ryan brought that up, but he decided against it. That wasn't why he was here. "Not home." Total bullshit. The phone thing had been his idea.

"No landline?"

"Nah. It's 2014, who needs it?"

"You, apparently."

"Could I just use your phone?"

Ryan studied him for a moment, waiting for a punchline. But Gavin held his own. He just kept smiling.

"Ah, fuck it. Come on, buffet boy." He slipped his phone from his pocket. "Number?"

Gavin reached forward. "If I could just borrow it for a minute. Bring it right back, promise."

"You lost yours, but expect me to give you mine? Please. Number?" He repeated, thumb hovering over the digits.

Gavin sighed, but recited the number. He hadn't really thought Ryan would give him the phone anyway. He sort of figured he'd be denied  that privilege.

"You might want to-" Ryan started, but he was interrupted by a loud ringing.

Gavin looked down in feigned- surprise. "Would you lookie there." He said, pulling his phone from his own pocket. "Had it on me the whole time. My bad." He grinned  Ryan, who still had his own phone pressed to his ear. "Whoops. Thanks anyway."

Ryan stared at the door to 314 for a full thirty seconds after it closed. What the hell?

\---

The next day Ryan answered after two knocks.

"I can't remember a time that I've opened a door and you haven't been there." He said sarcastically. It was what passed as a greeting at this  point.

Gavin didn't even bother with that. "Have you got any eggs?"

"What?"

"Eggs. Do you have any?"

Ryan blinked slowly, trying to process the question. "Why the fuck are you asking me about eggs?"

"Geoffs baking. We need eggs." He shrugged, as if it were enough.

"You know, there's a magical place not that far from here. You go in, find things you want, and exchange them for money. They sell eggs. It's called a fucking store." He was so not in the mood to deal with Gavins shit.

"Too far. We literally only need two eggs. Promise, next time we do go to the store, we'll repay you your eggs."

"Ah, fuck it." That seemed to be a common phrase when it came to Gavin. "Wait here."

Gavin did as instructed, staring just inside the door frame. He was almost positive that Ryan had meant outside, but he figured it was close enough.

"Here." Ryan came from around the counter, a carton in his hands. "Take them all. This way you don't have to come back." Keeping Gavin away seemed to priority one.

\---

It worked until the next day, when he came to borrow a wire. Then the next, when he wanted some cake recipe. For a week he made up reasons to knock on Ryan's door. Day after day. It was funny how so many of them had to do with Geoff, although Ryan hadn't seen the man since that first day. But after ten days, even Gavin had run out of excuses.

On that day, he didn't even have to knock. Ryan had the door open by the time he was standing in front of it.

"What could you possibly want now?"

Greetings had long since come and gone.

"Just dropping by to say hi." He grinned. "Hi."

"You just wanted to say hi?"

"Yep. Hi."

Ryan just stared at him. What the hell was up with this kid?

"Alrighty then, that's it. See you later."

His had was on the doorknob of his own apartment when Ryan's voice stopped him. "Why do you keep doing this?" Gavin turned. 

"Doing what?" He said, false innocence heavy in his voice. They both knew he was just being dumb on purpose.

"Knocking on my fucking door every damn day. Why me?" Ryan stepped closer, trying to keep the conversation from being a yelling match.

Gavin still hadn't moved. "You take it so well." He smiled. That was part of it. 

"You just like to piss me off?"

Gavin shrugged and finally turned toward him. "It's kinda fun." He considered sharing the other reason, the  one that had made him knock on the door in the first place. At this point telling the truth could only help him. Wasn't like there was anything to screw up. "And besides," ah, fuck it. "You've got really blue eyes."

Despite his attitude of 'fuck it I don't care' he was still nervous. He stared down at knot in the hardwood floor. He only looked up when Ryan's slipper came into view.

"My  _eyes?"_ Ryan repeated, though he had a slight smile on his face. "What, you got a crush on me or something?"

Gavin didn't answer, just focused on a spot above Ryan's left shoulder. "Uh." He didn't want to lie to the man. He'd done enough enough of that for one week. He  also didn't want to be the idiot saying 'I have a crush on you. Let's go on dates and pick flowers.' That was dumb. "Uh."

"Well you're not doing yourself any favors by waking me up every day."

"What? It's the middle of the bloody afternoon, why are you sleeping?" He still wouldn't meet Ryan's eyes. It was less embarrassing that way.

"Gavin." And when he didn't look at him Ryan put a hand on his shoulder. "I work at night. I sleep during the day. Well, I try to. Hard to do when I've got British parliament borrowing eggs."

"You...  _oh._ You don't hate me, you were just pissed because I woke you up." It made so much sense now.

"I've been losing sleep because you  _like_ me?" Ryan rolled his eyes. This hadn't been what he was looking for when he moved.  He wanted quiet. He wanted to live his simple little life, alone, and not deal with much of the world. It'd seemed easier. He hadn't been looking for a boy friend. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

"Look, if I promise to have dinner with you, say, tomorrow at eight, will you promise to stop waking me up everyday?" Plans change, apparently.

"I- really?" He wasn't quite sure he could believe it. He hadn't even been sure Ryan swung that way.

"Yeah, really. Only if you go back into your apartment and leave me the hell alone until then." He grinned, although he was only half-kidding. He did need to get some sleep, although he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to anyway.

He hadn't come to Austin looking for a nervous, irritating British twenty-something.

But boy had he found one.


	51. You didn't say no (Mavin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Mavin]  
> [He was supposed to say no. He always said he would, but he didn't]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely inspired by that HIMYM episode.

It was a joke at first. Or at least that’s the way Michael saw it. Gavin was an idiot, sometimes he’d say dumb shit. Like when he said he thought they’d make great gay parents. Michael still maintained that the kid would be severely fucked up. He sort of thought any relationship they’d have would be pretty fucked up.

They’re recording a let’s play, and Michael thinks that must be why he says it.

“Michael, what would you do if I legitimately asked you out?”

“If you legitimately asked me out? What the hell does that even mean?” He thinks he knows but he asks anyway. He wants to be sure.

“Like if I said ‘Michael, let’s get dinner and bevs and maybe see a movie. Just you and me.’ What would you say?”

“We got bevs last night.” Michael points out.

“Geoff was there.”

“So?”

“Oh my God, Michael.” Geoff has had enough of this conversation. ”He wants to know if you wanna be his fucking boyfriend.”

“Geoff!” Gavin yelps. “That’s not it! I’m saying if I asked!”

There’s two ways he can go about it. The way the fans will like, with him joking about ‘Mavin’ and saying of course. Or he can brush him off.

“I’d probably punch you in the fucking face.” He laughs, shrugging and glancing over at the Brit.

“You’d say no?” He sounds as if he doesn’t believe it. Michael doesn’t think there’s any hurt.

“Of course I’d fucking say no. Dating you would be like choosing to have a cheese grater dragged over my skin, I imagine.”

“I’m that horrible?”

“Yes. You’re insufferable.”  
—-  
A little while later, Gavin murders him while he’s at his crafting table, and Michael starts screaming. “You little bitch!”

“Uh, I think Michael’s going to murder Gavin in real life.” Ray jokes as Michael punches the Brit. He was actually close to winning a non-fighting challenge. How often did that ever happen?

“I swear to God I fucking hate you so goddamn much!” He’s not even close to the mic, but it’s still picking him up. “I was gonna fucking win! I was so fucking close and you ruined it!”

“You can still win!” Gavin splutters out between shrieks. Michael is still wailing on him, pissed off beyond belief.

“Yeah, Michael.” Geoff says through a wheezing laugh. “Kill him and get your shit back.”

“I can’t get the sword!” He says, finally sitting back in his chair.

“Oh shit, you didn’t enchant it yet?”

“I was in the middle of fucking making the goddamn thing when Gavin killed me!”

“You were in the crafting menu?”

Gavin is laughing. “He had no idea I was behind him. I was there for like a minute before I killed him with a stone sword.”

“I’m gonna fucking mmurder you, I swear to God. Where the fuck are you?”

“Presumambly he has a diamond sword now.” Ryan says, glancing up. “I don’t think you’re gonna kill him.”

“I can try!” Which he does, immediately getting killed again. “Gavin! This is why I’d say no to dating you! Because you do shit like this!"

They all just laugh.

—-

Gavin brings it up again when they’re in the kitchen. “You really wouldn’t want to date me?”

“Gavin, you’re an asshole. I would absolutely not like to date you.”

—-

He keeps talking about the fucking joke for weeks. Enough that Michael starts thinking maybe it’s not a joke. A person can only ask a question so many times before you’d think they’d give up.

Michael stops saying no. Instead he gives examples of why it would never work.

—-

Tuesday

“You really don’t want to date me?”

“Could you imagine that? I’d wake you up in the mornings by screaming.”

—-

Friday

“Why wouldn’t you wanna go out with me?”

“The first time you’d make me tea instead of coffee I’d punch you in the face.”

—-

Monday

“What would be so bad about it?”

“I’m like ninety percent sure you’d hog all the covers.”

“Please.” Ray rolls his eyes. “You’d be too busy banging him to care about blankets.”

—-

Thursday

“You think I’d be a terrible husband?”

“I think any kid would be severely fucked up.”

Ray doesn’t bother bringing up the fact that most people think that about themselves, and besides, everybody’s a little fucked up.

—-

Friday

The second to last day he asks they’re actually alone.  
“You wanna go out with me?”

“Gavin, the joke’s old. I’m tired of it.”

“It’s not a joke, Michael. Do you wanna go out with me?”

There’s a pause, and Michael realizes he’s serious. He’s legitimately asking him out. He’s got two ways to go about it. Agree and actually do something that might make him happy for once, or be an asshole.

“You’re out of your fucking mind.”

He falters. “I - what?”

It’s dumb. It wouldn’t work. Michael would kill him after two weeks and then everything would be really weird.

"Dude, you're like my best friend and all, but I fucking hate you."

It's just easier this way, honestly.

"You really... I thought-"

"You thought wrong."

Michael leaves him alone in the kitchen, slightly shell-shocked. He really thought through all the jokes, all the anger, Michael may have felt something more.

He should have known. Two weeks ago, Michael said he would say no. He told the whole damn world. He was always going to say no, and sure enough...

Wait.

\---

Saturday

There's a knock on his door, and its Gavin. He doesn't understand at first because Gavin always texts him instead of knocking.

"The fuck are you doing here?"

"You wanna go out with me?" He's smiling like an idiot and it makes no sense.

"Gavin, I told you-"

"You were supposed to say no. You said you were gonna say no. But you didn't. You said a lot of things, Michael. But you didn't say no. Wanna go out with me?" He's still grinning like a fucking moron.

Michael says so. "You're a fucking moron."

"I know. Wanna go out with me?"

"What, is that like a signature on a text? You're just gonna add that after everything you say?"

"Maybe." A pause, then "Wanna go out with me?" He won't stop fucking smiling, like he knows something Michael doesn't.

And maybe he does. He knows Michael can only be asked to do something so many times before he gives in. And he knows if you plant an idea in his head, he won't stop thinking about it. Eventually he'll give in to the dumbass idea, and he'll end up with a fucking hilarious story. He knows that despite what he claims, Michael does have a soft spot for him. He knows every example Michael brought up would come true, but it'd be worth it.

He knows it could be really great.

And Michael knows that too but he's Michael so why would he actually admit that? Instead he laughs.

"I'm not buying you shit. And I fully expect a limo."

Gavin nods, grin so big Michael wonders how his face hasn't split in half. "You deserve nothing less."


	52. His [Rayvin]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin]  
> [Why does Ray love him?]  
> [Oh, that's right.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.  
> I'm trying. Have some run on sentence fluff which is what started this all in the first place.

There's a lot about Gavin that Ray loves. As in, if you asked him to stand around and list them all, well, you'd basically get tired of the sound of his voice.

But if he had to pick the thing that keeps him from walking away, that makes him smile and compromise even when he knows he's right, that gets him to fall asleep wrapped up in Gavin's arms even when they're both pissed beyond belief... he absolutely could.

Its the side of Gavin that the audience doesn't see. Yes he's an idiot sometimes and he says weird and crazy things and no that doesn't stop when the camera does, but there's still a difference.

They never get to see him when he's deep in thought, so still and quiet they wouldn't believe it's really him. Or the way he'll get bored, so he'll roll his chair over to sit next to Ray. They only sometimes catch the stupid things he'll whisper in his boyfriend's ear. They never hear the erotic details that almost always result in Ray pulling him to a bathroom or a closet or just about anywhere that has some semblance of privacy.

No one in the audience has held hands with him at a movie theater.

(Fingertips on the back of his hand, drawing patterns and unidentifiable shapes.

"Gavin."

"What?"

"Stop it."

"What are you talking about?"

Twitching his hand.

"That fucking tickles. Knock it off."

"Oh. Sorry."

Lips pursed, a vague sense of disappointment. Damnit. Slipping his hand into Gavin's and lacing their fingers together. Gavin's head on his shoulder and a smile on his face.

Doesn't even matter whose face you're talking about.)

They've never been the victim of Gavin's surprise kisses.

(Quiet. Alone. Gavin god knows where. Anywhere but home.

Except.

A hand on his face then lips on his and the sound of his character dying on the screen.

"Goddamnit, Gavin!"

Gavin leaning over the arm of the couch, smile completely unapologetic, despite his next words. "Oh, sorry. Guess you're done then?"

"No I'm not-" but he is. Gavin scrambling over the couch, tossing his controller to the table. "Gav-" but then it doesn't even matter. Everything _Gavin.)_

The audience does not wake up to the smell of burnt toast because every single morning, Gavin forgets to change the setting for the first two pieces. They don't laugh at his constant inability to make toast, then buy him a breakfast burrito on the way to work.

The last words they hear every night are not Gavin saying 'I love you.'

Ray loves all of Gavin. Every last eccentricity that sometimes annoy the ever-loving crap out of him. Every made up word and sabotaged game and dumb argument. Every gentle touch and small smile. Every kiss, every moment. He loves everything, even the stuff he kind of hates.

But the Gavin he loves the most is the Gavin that only he gets.


	53. don't even start with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Rayvin]  
> [Ray and Gavin have adventures at the mall. Some things get said]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right.  
> So much fluff you'll suffocate.

“Gavin, I swear to god I’m gonna stop bringing you places if you don’t stop pissing me off.”

“Right, but I didn’t ask you to bring me with you. I hate malls.”

“Then why do you keep stopping every five fucking minutes?”

“Because I never come here!”

“So if you came here more often you’d be less annoying?”

“Nah. Like I said, I hate malls.”

“I hate you.”

Gavin paused in mock offense. “ _Ray_.”

Rolling his eyes, Ray grabbed his hand. “Shut up. You know I'm only kidding. Mostly.”

Gavin glanced down and squeezed his boyfriend’s hand, a smile on his face. Truth be told, this was exactly why he always tried to irritate Ray. Whenever they went somewhere, Gavin spent the first hour wandering off at every given opportunity. At some point, Ray always got sick of searching for him and ended up holding his hand for the rest of the trip. Gavin always liked it, though he never wanted to admit it. It sounded dumb in his mind ‘can we hold hands?’ Please, he didn’t want to be that pathetic.

But Ray’s a lot smarter than Gavin gives him credit for.

“Hey Gav? You’re aware that I know exactly what you’re doing, right?”

“What?”

“Dude. Nobody is that interested in women’s shoes. You keep leaving so that I go after you.” Ray spent quite a lot of time rolling his eyes around Gavin.

“No! I just, um, I was curious about the height, and, um…” he really had no plan on how to actually give a reason why Ray had found him staring at a pair of high heels. In truth, he’d gotten bored waiting for his boyfriend to find him,and he hadn’t even been paying attention to what he was seeing.

“Honestly Gavin, we’re dating. It’s ok if you like me. I promise.”

“Sod off. I hate you. A lot.”

“Then you won’t mind if I just let go, and-” he started to pull his hand back, but Gavin tightened his grip and pulled him closer, bumping their shoulders together.

“Just shut _up_.”

Ray only laughed at the sour look on his face. Gavin loved to irritate him, but Ray had no problem giving it right back.

“Right, remind me why we’re here again?” Gavin wanted the trip to be over. Malls were suffocating and annoying and he just wanted to go home. Besides, Ray always had a very strict ‘no we will not make out in public’ policy that Gavin absolutely did not approve of. If anybody had a problem they could go fuck themselves. But no, Ray was always worried about getting kicked out of public places. They get caught at one movie theater and suddenly it’s a big deal.

“”Did you forget that Michael’s birthday is next week, or what?”

“It’s next week! Why the hell are you shopping now?

“As in why did I wait so long, or why am I so early?”

“Early. There’s no way you need to put so much thought into something for Michael. Give him a weirdly inappropriate t-shirt and he’ll go mental. It’s not hard.”

“You are _such_ an asshole.” Ray shook his head because honestly, his boyfriend was a moron.

“Why?”

“ _Why?_ For starters,where did you think you were gonna get the shirt besides the fucking mall? Was it supposed to just materialize whenever you wanted it to?”

“Online. Easy.”

“Are you fuckin- How long were you planning on waiting? Did you not think about the time it would take to ship?”

Now it was Gavin’s turn to roll his eyes.”If you start another sentence with ‘did you think’ I’m gonna lose it.”

“You would lose your ass if it wasn’t attached to you.” Sometimes Gavin could be really frustrating. “And besides, Michael’s like my best friend, he deserves-”

“I thought I was your best friend!”

“Oh come on. You two pair up like ninety percent of the time, you constantly make jokes about fucking each other, and you’ve even got a show that’s literally just you and him. Not to mention the audience and the Mavin shit.”

“So?”

“So don’t even try and start with any kind of bullshit about me and Michael. If anybody gets to do that, it’s me.”

Gavin laughed, despite the fact that he was the one originally offended by the mention of Michael's name. “Jealous?”

“You’re the one who- no, fuck it. You’re not sucking me into this argument.” Ray shook his head, as if by doing so he could end the conversation. “ _Anyway_ , back to what I was saying. Michael’s like my best friend, he deserves-”

“I can't believe you keep referring to Michael as your best friend when I'm literally right here."

"Gavin. Shut up. You know I love you, why are you being such a pain in the ass?"

He paused, processing the words.Yeah, Ray had just said what he thought he'd heard. Something he hadn’t heard before. “Ray.”

“What?” It didn't even register to him.

Gavin raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to realize. “Think about what you just said.” He couldn't help the smile spreading across his face.

“All I said was you know that I… _oh_.” Ray blinked, finally understanding the importance of the moment. A moment that he never thought they’d have in the middle of a fucking Sears on a Saturday afternoon, but things don’t always go the way you plan. “Well I mean… now you know, at least.”

He laughed, still smiling widely. “Yeah. Ray. You know… you know I love you too, right?”

Ray bumped his shoulder with his own. “Do now.”

There was a beat of silence before Gavin started to giggle. “For god’s sake.”

“What?”

“The first time we say ‘I love you’ and it’s in the middle of a department store.” He shook his head in disbelief. “It’s so ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous.” He couldn't resist.

“Ray. That hurts, you know.”

“Shut up.”

But they both kept grinning, and neither one even thought about breaking their hands apart. Sure it wasn't the way either had imagined the moment going, but it worked. They were idiots in love, and that’s all that mattered.


	54. Love and Hate and a Little Bit of Both (Geovin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Geovin]  
> [Sometimes Geoff loves him and sometimes he hates him and usually he just does both]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see? Yeaaah, sorry about that.  
> Mostly I suck, but I think that goes without saying.  
> If you want a proper explanation, feel free to message me.

Gavin is the most irritating person Geoff thinks he's ever had in his bed. He's never met anyone who could move so much at night, yet be so lazy during the day. Whenever Geoff is trying to sleep, the kid's a fucking whirlwind. He can't just lay still, constantly tossing and turning. He's not ever awake for it either, which is the worst part. He doesn't believe Geoff when he says he moves so much.

"I wake up in the same position every morning! There's no way I move _that_ much."

"Gavin, I swear to God you do. I get no sleep because of you!

"You're crazy, Geoff." Gavin just doesn't get it. And then he starts grinning and Geoff knows he really  _won't_ get any sleep tonight, but for very different reasons and vastly better movement. He's ok with this. Encourages it, even.

But when the night  _doesn't_ turn into sex and they just go to bed, Geoff is not as happy. If by some miracle he does fall asleep, he's easily woken up by the alarm in the morning. The same cannot be said for his boyfriend.

"Gavin. Gavin. Gavin.  _Gavin!"_ Aside from Geoff's whining, the only sound in the room is a repetition of Ryan's voice saying "Bitch. With tentacles." Gav set it as such in order to annoy Ryan, and slightly appease the fans. Timed Let's Play's didn't happen that often, but enough that he wanted something good. Geoff often joked he had instead settled for Ryan's voice. "Gavin!"

"Huh?" Gavin rolls over blindly, forehead bumping into Geoff's shoulder.

"Shut your fucking phone off!"

And finally Gavin sits up, although he does not actually reach for his phone. He blinks, glancing toward the table. "I keep forgetting I set that like that. Every time I hear it 'm confused about why Ryan-"

"Shut the fucking thing up!"

"Alright!" Gavin finally hits the snooze, although Geoff does assume that he shut it off.

"Thank you. I hate that fucking alarm."

"I know." Gavin giggles, rolling toward his boyfriend. "So does Ryan."

"And that's why you have it. Because you're a piece of shit."

"Geoff!"

"Shut up. You know it's true." Geoff wraps an arm around his waist as Gavin's head finds its way to his chest. Sunday mornings may be one of his favorite things in the world, even if he'd never admit it.

"But you still love me."

"Please. It's probably why. What's that thing? Birds of a feather?"

"It's such a nice sentiment. We're just two assholes in love with each other."

Geoff doesn't say anything, only laughs. It's true though. He loves Gavin more than he ever thought he could, considering age differences and Gavin always thinking he was definitely straight, and just all the complications associated with dating a friend and a coworker all rolled into one. And Gavin is an asshole, and sometimes he hates him the way you hate that really good friend who tells shitty jokes that shouldn't make you laugh but they  _do._ So you hate them because how dare you make me laugh at your shitty jokes taht aren't really funny? Or that person who makes terrible decisions even though you tel them not to but you stick with them because you're not about to leave, but you still kind of hate them anyway.

That's who Gavin is to him. He's the person Geoff hates and loves and loves to hate and he cannot live without. Gavin is the person who irritates him most in the world but he's also the only one who can talk him down from the moments he gets way too stressed about life. Gavin is an idiot, Gavin is a genius. Their relationship is utterly inexplicable, and Geoff wouldn't have it any other way.

And it occurs to him, laying in the quiet, listening to Gavin's slow breathing, that he is not always a tornado. Occasionally he calms, and though the moments are few and far between, they are so worth all of the insanity associated with Gavin Free.

"I love you, you know that?"

"Mhmm. Love you too."

Naturally, the idiot is already half asleep again. But that's fine, because things are peaceful. It's become a nice, calming Sunday morning, snuggled with his boyfriend. Literally nothing could possibly ruin the moment.

" _Bitch. With tentacles. Bitch. With-"_

"Goddamnit, Gavin!"

Gavin just giggles into his chest. Prick.

But Geoff still loves him.


	56. Sentimental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Ray/Gavin/Michael]  
> [Michael reflects on his relationship with the other lads]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apology fluff because I've been shit about posting recently?  
> Sorry about that.  
> (This has nothing to do with the triangle. It's just lads fluff)

Michael is a weird kind of sentimental. Remind him of something he said six months ago, and he'll call you a pathetic freak for remembering shit like that. Tell him you're having a terrible day, he'll say that sucks, then move on. But he'll go out and spend thirty fucking dollars on matching necklaces for him and Gavin. He'll spend twenty five on a joke t-shirt just because he knows Ray will like it.

He spends all damn day yelling at Ray and Gavin. He hates them, they suck. They film a Minecraft let's play and Michael completely fucks Gavin over. They work together the entire time, until Michael (as Geoff dubs it) 'pulls a Ryan' and murders him in the last five minutes. He takes all of his shit and wins by a landslide. Gavin hollers about it being unfair, and what happened to Team Nice Dynamite? Michael laughs and asks if Gavin really thought they were partners.

He kicks Ray's ass in HUNT by over exaggerating how little he'd played a shitty Kinect game. He mentions that he'd done a Rage Quit in it long ago. He neglects to bring up that he later went back and got all the achievements in it, and may have recently played it at his cousin's request. He laughs as Ray shouts about it being bullshit. His only explanation is to say that someone had to end his streak. Ray says this is why they're not friends anymore, and Michael rolls his eyes.

Ray tells him about comments he's read lately that wonder why Michael's being such a bitch. He laughs and wonders what they'll say when Minecraft and HUNT come out. He brings it back up when he's driving them home. Geoff offered to take Gavin, like normal, but Michael cut him off. Gavin wanted to leave early, it wasn't a big deal. So they're in the car, pretending that they haven't lied to everyone.

"So Ray."

"Huh- Gavin, stop." They're in the backseat, shoving each other. It's like driving two children home. Well, to Michael's.

"People are saying I hate  _both_ of you now?" It's funny, really.

"Uh, yeah. They think- Gavin I'm gonna punch you in the  fucking face." Gavin's trying to tickle him, make him laugh. Five year old, honestly. "They think you and Gavin are being weird because  of the whole 'Mavin' thing. They think you think it's weird."

Michael actually laughs out loud. "Yeah, it's a freak show."

"Never gonna bang him, huh?" Ray giggles. It's such a joke.

"Oh God no. Have you seen him?" He glances into his rearview mirror, a grin on his face. "He's a man-child."

It's at this point Gavin finally tunes into the conversation. "What we you saying about me?"

"Michael doesn't want to bang you." Ray informs him solemnly.

"What the hell are you talking about? We had sex three days ago!"

"Three days... Michael, you son of a bitch!" Ray lunges forward, leaning between the front seats. He ignores the click of the seatbelt that indicates its locked.

Michael glances over, trying not to smile. "Problem, Ray?"

"Yeah I got a problem. I  _called_ you three days ago. You said you were busy doing something."

"I was."

"You were fucking Gavin!"

"Yeah, so I  _was_ busy. Busy doing Gavin." He snickers, and Ray hits the backseat with a huff. He crosses his arms, shoving Gavin with his knee.

"I hate both of you."

"Aww, X-Ray!" Gavin tries to hug him, despite the fact that Ray's practically getting choked out by the seatbelt. "Don't feel left out!"

"Nah, just because my boyfriends would rather bang each other than me, why should I feel left out?" He's not serious. Of course they don't spend every night together. More often than not it's just him and Michael, or him and Gavin. Nights with all three are actually pretty rare.

"That's not true!" Gavin shouts, oblivious to the joke. "Vavvy can make you feel better." Ray almost laughs at his attempt to be sexy. Not quite though, because Gavin starts kissing his neck and god forbid his laughter would make that stop.

"Ray, knock it off." Michael can see through his bullshit. "You're not gonna guilt him into blowing you in the car."

Gavin leans away, slightly confused. "What'd you say?"

Michael opens his mouth to answer, but Ray speaks first. "Shut the fuck up, Michael. I've got a good thing going here." He looks at Gavin, meeting his eyes. "I mean, I'm very saddened by this knowledge. Please, make me all better." He tries to move toward him, but the seatbelt halts him. "Goddamnit."

"Raaaay." Gavin draws his name out, grinning. He gets it now. His eyes flicker to Ray's hand, yanking harshly at the belt. "Wait, are you stuck?"

"Fucking seatbelt locked, and now- Gavin, no!" In response to finding out that his boyfriend is stuck and can no longer properly fight back, Gavin resumes tickling him, hands on his sides. "Stop! I hate-" Ray shrieks, but he's laughing. They all are. Rays laugh is infectious, and besides, the  idea of Gavin forcibly tickling him is hilarious.

Michael probably glances back more than he should, and maybe he drifts over the line a few times. Maybe he only narrowly misses someone's mailbox. But it's worth it to watch his boys playfighting in the backseat.

Because they  _are_ his. Sure, it's this huge secret and nobody outside the three of them knows. And sure they don't plan on coming out any time soon. And maybe all they've said is they're having fun, seeing where it all goes. 

Eight months is a long game.

But he won't deny the shiver in his spine when Ray said the word 'boyfriends.' He loves the two idiots in the backseat more than anything. Even if he's never said it.

He knows he will someday.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Love Almighty](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3563084) by [Kiki_The_Marauder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiki_The_Marauder/pseuds/Kiki_The_Marauder)




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